The things I am about to tell you in this article, you likely have heard before, but if you are having issues with self-esteem, you need something greater than knowledge to “fix” your problem.

This lack of self esteem really does plague modern society, it’s easy to feel inferior when we have a culture that is rather artificial. Let’s face it, you may want to look like the models in Cosmopolitan but, so do these models! They don’t actually look the way they appear on the cover of the magazine, they are airbrushed so that they appear the flawless perfection that you see.

I say all of this to make the point that we have a culture that thrives upon making “ordinary” people look inferior, and feel inferior to those who use the product that’s being sold!

I want to talk a little bit about self-esteem in this piece. I will get to the list in a minute …

Now, I just want to say that I will not be telling anyone how to have a “high” self esteem, but rather a healthy and balanced self esteem. You see, with a high self esteem, you may be blinded by your own confidence, but with healthy self esteem you have an accurate concept of yourself that reflects reality! The benefit of this is that you will have self-acceptance and self-respect and you will not define yourself by any failures you have encountered in your life along the way.

It’s not all your fault if you have low self esteem! Generally people with healthy self esteem have been respected and given a lot of hope by parents and have had a good start in life. None of us have any control over this! Perhaps you were bullied, perhaps you never had much support from your parents in your youth – and none of these things are your fault, but to be frank with you – any response that you have to this is your responsibility, and as a therapist and a coach, this is the main area in which I would help you.

If all of this weren’t already bad enough, because you were trained to think in a low way about yourself, you began to be critical of yourself! We become quite literally our own biggest critic, and to an extent, our own worst enemy! My work is to help you to become friends with yourself, and to be your own cheerleader, and to be your own supporter!

Some people with low self esteem are great actors, they can act happy on the outside, but on the inside they feel inadequate – their life is an act! Others try to mask their low self esteem by being the “angry young man” type who makes others feel bad in an attempt to make himself/herself feel good! Of course this behavior does not work! And there, of course, are the others who use their low self esteem as an excuse to be “sad sacks”!

As a coach and therapist, it is my job to take a person from the place where they feel inadequate, low and bad – and any manifestations of that – to a place where they have healthy self esteem!

So, my work is to help others deal with their inner critic, to help them to cease their self defeating acts like the “angry young man”, or the “actor” or the “sad sack”!

6 Ways to Raise your Self-Esteem

1. Say nice things to yourself

   Stop criticizing yourself all the time! Lighten up! Say nice things to yourself for a change!

2. Be Your own Counselor and Coach

   You can motivate yourself, you can make yourself happy, and you can induce healthy and happy emotional states in yourself!

3. If you have deep issues, consult a Professional Counselor

   Getting professional help can really change your life for the better! If you need it, then it’s worth the investment.

4. Clarify your goals and aims

   There’s nothing like having a clear purpose and goals to make a positive change in your life! Try this: write a personal mission statement, meditate on it every day for a month, and then see how you feel!

5. Do what you enjoy!

   Make a list of the things you enjoy doing in life and make sure you do at least one of them per day

6. Do something very new today!

   Do something you’ve never done before, and as you see yourself accomplishing that task, you will see your confidence and self-esteem rise like never before!

It is my professional opinion that if you feel that you have any of the deeper issues (like depression, or any other mental illness) and it affects your life and your feeling of wellbeing, you should seriously consider contacting a therapist to talk about your issues!