I am doing much soul searching these days. I feel torn between two very different pulls in my life. As a little girl, I grew up in Scottsdale, Arizona. I was a “tomboy” and loved rough and tumble sports like biking through various hills and playing in a tree house we found at the edge of a vacant lot adjacent to my home.

I remember being able to roller skate through the streets that were very quiet, a car rarely passed, sometimes only a couple in an hour. We had a horse, goats and dogs. It was a city that was slow paced and simple. I loved it. After, the second grade my family moved to Orange County. I have lived in California ever since.

My next move was to Los Angeles a big change from two very quiet, tranquil cities I had been used to. I have been living in Los Angeles now for the past ten years. It has been quite a big change. My first real memory of this city was when I was signaling to make a legal turn at an intersection and an older driver coming from the opposite direction who was attempting to make an illegal turn greeted me to the realities of this city with a purposefully directed middle finger.

It shocked my system completely having grown up in a city, Dana Point, where people actually slow down and kindly let you make a turn and where I was taught to respect my elders. Since that time I have encountered more rude shocks like that than I care to remember or reiterate. And, lately my heart has been pulling me toward a simpler lifestyle again.

I sit and watch movie stars on the TV, the allure of Hollywood constantly calling to me; with every move I make, I feel the possibility and its tangibility. However, there is a deeper part of my heart that makes me long for the nights I stayed up all night with girl friends that talked all night and only cared about smiling, laughing and having fun.

Up until about five years ago, I didn’t even know what Tiffany’s was. Yes, men and ladies there are still some people who don’t know about name brands. I only found out about this famous line when an ex of mine had purchased a necklace for me from that store. I have a particular taste in clothing and jewelry and tend to wear the same jewelry over and over.

Because of this I rarely wore his gift, though I was thankful for the thought. Then later I happened to be perusing the Tiffany’s catalogue and discovered my necklace in it. The price tag blew me away. It was $350! I was in shock. I couldn’t understand why he had spent so much money on an item that was so simple; an item that looked like something I could have bought at a flea market for $10. It shocked me because there are starving people in other countries and that money did not need to be spent on a necklace for me.

Now, I do realize that spending more money on gifts every now and then is okay. But, I sometimes wonder about balance and what is truly most important. I go back and forth about this knowing that having the ability to spend extravagantly shouldn’t be a bad thing, right? After all, it is only money right?

I suppose, I just miss the idea of times when name brands didn’t matter. When jumping on a bike and seeing what adventures you and your best friends could find in a day, without spending a dime were like. When it didn’t matter what car you drove or what name brand you were wearing. When life was simple and having $5 in your pocket meant you were rich and the whole world was full of possibilities.

I miss the times when the best conversations really did consist of that famous conversation in “Stand by Me” when they wondered “Was Pluto really a dog?”

Those really were the days…