The Gifts of Adversity
What if every bad thing that has ever happened to you really wasn’t a bad thing at all? What if each negative event was really a positive lesson you needed to learn to be your highest and best self.
- Lets you know when it’s time to move on. I was fired from a job where I felt that I was not growing professionally and I did not enjoy the field. I fanatically prayed each night for a change in my career to something where I could look forward to going to work in the morning and utilize my gifts and talents. I was dedicated to my staff and typically worked 10-12 hour days. When I would come home from work in the evenings I was always too tired to write or look for other work. Although, shocked – I was relieved that I had been fired. While there, none of my staff ever resigned on me in a high turn-over, over-worked and underpaid-industry or submitted a late report. I knew I did an excellent job. I don’t think I would have had the courage to leave my staff behind whom I loved dearly. I was too dedicated to doing a good job to focus on the true desires of my heart. It was time for me to move on and being discharged, freed me to move my life in another direction. Most importantly, I didn’t have to quit and feel that I had let my staff down.
- Reveals to you who your allies are. Without enemies you wouldn’t have a gauge to measure who your friends are. During some of the most difficult moments in your life, look around and see who remained by your side. Have you ever assumed that someone was in your corner, but when adversity struck or you really needed them; they were nowhere to be found? Don’t be angry or bitter, be grateful for the wisdom to recognize true friends.
- You learn what to do next time. My copier jammed one night while I was printing brochures for an upcoming project. I looked everywhere for the trouble-shooting manual, I called their servicing center, I practically took the copier apart all to no avail. Three days later, my friend and her husband came by and I told them about the problem that I was having with my copier. Her husband is who is mechanically inclined offered to take a look at it. He looked in the back of the copier, opened the trap door with one twist and pulled out the crinkled piece of paper jammed between the rollers in a cinch. “There, you’re all set,” he said. I was in tears of joy. Six months later while editing an important article that was due the next day. My copier jammed again. This time I knew exactly how to correct the problem. I was so grateful that my copier had jammed earlier when I was not under a deadline. When the same problem presented itself again, I was totally prepared.
- Changes your perception to be more open and accepting of others. During one of my self awareness workshops, one woman shared that after 30-years of marriage, her husband revealed to her that he was a transsexual. Six months later, her son informed her that he was gay. She stated that initially she was devastated and shocked because she had always hated and looked down upon people who were culturally different. She marveled that this experience has made her a compassionate, open-minded therapist and that nothing rattles her when counseling others. She believes that this experience changed her perception of others and has made her more effective in her job.
- Shows you who you are and what you truly believe in. A woman admitted that she was madly in love with a married man, even though she felt that it was unethical to be with him. One evening while dining, she noticed the un-tanned band of flesh where is wedding ring belonged and became physically ill. She realized that she was violating what she truly believed in by being involved with a married man. Her experience enforced and strengthen her belief in fidelity.
- Develops your talents and gifts. I wrote a passionate letter to a newspaper begging them to hire me as a reporter. During the interview, they told me that I would be given writing assignments and that I could start working the next day. I cried tears of joy all the way home. My first day on the job, they informed me that my official title would be copy editor and that I would be editing the copy of the reporters. I had quit my previous job and took a pay-cut to follow my dreams. Each time a reporter would place an article in my basket, I would die on the inside. Once a week, I would plead my case to the publisher, “ Sir, this is not me. I am a writer.” He would respond, “We don’t need another writer. There is no money in writing. Anybody can write a story, you should want to do more with your life.” After, months of editing copy, I transferred to the marketing department to sell ads. I was very good at selling ads, but my soul ached each day. Because of this experience two years later, I started my own magazine Triumph from scratch. I knew how to market the magazine and sell ads. I even convinced noted attorney, Geoffrey Fieger, to grace the cover of my last issue. I had the opportunity to attend events with local celebrities and obtain groundbreaking interviews. I learned that I had the ability to sell, schmooze and develop a project from scratch. If you are doing something that you don’t like look closely at the new skills that you are learning, even if it’s just more confidence in yourself.
- Shows you the good already in your life. Sometimes we take things for granted because we are accustomed to them being in our lives. We overlook so many wonderful small miracles that occur each day without thinking about it. During a winter storm my family was without electricity for three days. Prior to this I had never appreciated my alarm clock that plays my favorite CD in the morning, the cold food in the refrigerator or the sound of cartoons on Saturday mornings. I began to think about families without running water and food at their disposal. This experience showed me all the good things that occur in my life on a daily basis that I feel entitled to. Now, I spend more time focusing on what I have as opposed to what I think is missing.
- You develop wisdom and learn to trust your instincts. You learn to trust your intuition. Have you ever felt that you shouldn’t do or say something, but you did it anyway? Have you ever ignored the twitching in your stomach or the quiet voice of reason that implored you to make another decision? Pay attention to all the times in your life that you did not follow your gut instincts to your detriment. Note the feelings, the dreams, the warnings and symbolisms that took place. Learning to trust yourself is the greatest and most important tool needed to make good decisions. Mistakes are just directions on what not to do the next time, if you pay attention and take good notes.
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Post Commentkimberly hillary
On July 7, 2007 at 12:01 pm
Loved this!!!!
sab
On June 23, 2009 at 12:35 pm
HEY CASSANDRA I LOVE YOUR BOOKS, LET ME TELL YOU THEY REACHED ROMANIA !