The Hipster’s Pocket Survival Manual: Chapter Six

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Chapter 6: Conflict

While conflict may be inevitable, violence is the last refuge of the incompetent (as you would have known if you’d read Asimov rather than Palahniuk). It is far better to attempt to solve a crisis through use of stout planning and tact than to succumb to the use of force – this is the essence of diplomacy.

The easiest way to understand diplomacy is to try to avoid seeing things through a tunnel. Instead, attempt to see the problem in context of all the other connecting factors so that you can try to influence them into your favor. Being diplomatic is about avoiding direct pressure on conflict and utilizing the application or reduction of indirect pressure.

When only the problem is focused on and not the web of related events and influences, the problem can only be attacked, never maneuvered. This is where violence becomes inevitable and your own death imminent. For, if you live by the sword, you die by it.

In most circumstances you will never be able to directly resist your opponent with proportional violence,  especially when they are likely to be better armed and less conscientious about murder (for killing, even in a war, is murder). Soldiers and ex-soldiers hold violence and killing to be a viable tactics in negotiation and you should always be wary when dealing with them. A cannibal will kill you for food and cannot be trusted despite their assurances to the contrary. In short, you may have to defend yourself.

All self-defense hinges upon one thing: balance.

Balance is about connecting yourself with the ground and staying as stable as possible during movement. Use the whole of your foot to address the ground – it is helpful to stand barefoot to feel this more naturally. You want your weight spread out over the toes, balls and heels of your feet with your knees slightly bent. Walking in this way does a lot to promote proper balance as the forward shift reinforces it within your musculature. If you have to defend yourself, don’t try fancy footwork for as long as you have your balance you will be quicker and more maneuverable.

Practice the idea of “Life Over Limb” – sacrifice an arm to save your head and abdomen (which you cannot live without). Attempt to disarm your opponent if given an opportunity (and don’t hesitate if the opportunity arises). Move off the line of attack, never along it. Do not move in straight lines when being shot at – be unpredictable. Attempt to escape as soon as possible.

The worst that can happen is that you kill the other person – not if they kill you. Living with the memory of killing change’s one spirit and can create intense psychological trauma that can last a lifetime, whereas you getting killed is just you dying (you were going to die anyway and at least it was a good death). Living with another persons’ blood on your hands is something that you can never go back from. Inevitably you will begin to consider violence a viable method of solving problems (which it isn’t) or you will crumble under the strain and guilt into distress.

There is little remedy to this condition but if it was necessary in the circumstance you can attempt to mitigate the effects on your psyche by giving a sense of honor and sorrow to your opponent for his death. You didn’t, after all, want it. From then on, resolve again to avoid violence at all costs. This can be consoling in a small way.

Finally, those who carry conflict inside them will continue to find it – you will have to let go of hatred, revenge and bitterness or it will continue to plague you and put you into situations that will severely trim your lifespan. Look at the big picture, not the glare of the problem.