The Inherent Nature of Accepting

Now do the same for your entire life situation. What is it about your life at this moment that you just can’t accept? Is it financial? your physical condition? your age? your weight? some situation you are involved in? your work? Make the list. Then, for the next week, instead of rerunning the non-acceptance tape (this — whatever it is — isn’t all right with me), deliberately contradict that voice and affirm: “This is OK with me. I accept it.” 

Usually the voices of non-acceptance we carry came from our parents or caregivers. We heard them saying things about us or to us that they perhaps thought were for our own good. But we have internalized these judgments and now carry them around like little put-downs which stifle our creativity, energy, aliveness and basic self-esteem These voices need to be acknowledged and then, politely, contradicted. They need to be heard, but not listened to any longer. They are not voices of life but of death.

Your inherent nature is to accept. You learned to not accept because you got hurt, or because you were taught that it isn’t safe to be accepting. (”Don’t take candy from strangers.”) Now, however, it is time to undo those restrictions and allow your accepting nature to emerge.

And don’t worry about the thought that “If I accept this it will never change!” By accepting something that you currently experience as negative, you may discover that it isn’t actually negative or harmful and that it has value or worth or even pleasure in it. On the other hand, if it turns out to be actually harmful, your acceptance does not mean that you cannot change it; in fact, the first step in meaningful change is acceptance. Without accepting a situation, there is no way you can constructively change it. You will be reacting to the situation as a victim and not in a position to actually make a change. You will be reacting to your negation and trying to change what is “out there,” when rejection is in fact your own inner response. Once you have reoriented your response from rejecting to accepting, THEN you can go on and make any needed or wanted changes. But you are doing so after your have taken responsibility and ownership of the situation by accepting it. I can only change what I have accepted. If I want to change a habit or behavior of my own, I must first own that behavior; then I have the right to change it. Until then, it lies outside the range of my ability to affect real change. I can only react.  And reaction does not lead to change.

So: Accept; then change. Realize this aspect of your Inherent Nature and you will discover a great power.

“I am and always have been inherently accepting.”