The Self-Pity Entrapment

Self-pity is one of the heaviest pieces of baggage we’ve been carrying as addicts and alcoholics. Learning to leave this self-destructive behavior behind us is one of the toughest challenges we face in turning our lives around!

Three setups to self-pity:

1. Feeling rejected.
2. Lack of self confidence or attitude of being defeated.
3. Felling that the whole world and everyone around you are against you.

Self-pity is dangerous because:

1. it is self-destructive.
2. It is contagious.

The big self-pity payoff:

1. It’s comfortable.
2. To gain from those around us.
3. It’s an easy means of escape from the truth.
4. To try to get out from under the guilt by saying “No-one understands me.”

The symptoms of self-pity are:

1. Withdrawing from a situaltion.
2. Encapsulation, dwelling in the past.
3. Impulsive reactions, being overly paranoid and defensive.
4. Pettiness, shifting the blame and passing the buck. By doing this it makes it very difficult to tell the truth about anything.

How to break free from the self-pity trap:

1. Involve yourself with other people, join clubs or participate in social events.
2. Talk to people about what is happening with you.
3. Change your behavioural habits.
4. Work on the things that are bothering you.
5. Look at the things that are bothering you, the things that you don’t tell anyone about, and share them with someone.
6. Be honest with yourself, and with others.
7. Make a list of positive influences in your life, and let them influence you.
8. Put the blame where the blame should lie.

When developing your program for recovery, remember: you have just as good a chance as anybody else to succeed! We’re all in the same boat, all unique and also alike. We all have the same basic needs; love, relationships, a sense of belonging, and a sense of accomplishment! We all expierience the same feelings, at one time in our lives or another. Learn to be honest with yourself and others about both good and bad feelings. Deal with the bad feelings and share the good feelings with others! If you feel like you can’t do it on your own, FIND HELP!