I’ve often wondered why it is that we of the feminine persuasion suffer so much more from the affliction of depression. Just why is it more women have nervous break downs, too many of us are insomniacs and women throng therapist offices?

While stress isn’t exclusively reserved to the female of the species, it seems we have a lot to learn from our male counterparts when it comes to chilling out. They seldom seem to have mood swings, or the urge for double-choc choc-chip fudge ice-cream to cancel out the effects of a bad day at work, or the need to have all night conversations with a BFF to discuss the in and outs of their latest relationship crisis.

It often seems as if men are generally happier, and even those who have personal problems tend to have it much more together than we members of the *ahem* gentler, more sensitive sex. So what’s their secret? We scope out the macho set for insights on how to achieve that elusive thing called happiness.

Guy lesson – Ignore the opinion of others

Women are often so worried about what others think of us that we create problems where there are none. Case in point: A Japanese sound system designed for use in public toilets was recently showcased in the local media. It featured the sound of running water that when played, covered up the shocking sound of women urinating. Men on the other hand, can pick their noses at a bus stop or discuss their drunken escapades on the phone at top volume with blithe indifference.

No, we’re not telling you that scratching your crotch in public is a good thing but not placing so much emphasis on the opinions of others will reduce your stress levels a considerable bit. After all, your toughest critic is none other than your own self. Unless you’re Gwen Stefani, no one really pays that much attention to how fat you are, how much your handbag costs or what car your boyfriend drives anyway. And if someone were that critical of you, would you really want them as your friend?

Guy lesson – Even grown-ups need to play

Women tend to grow up and get past the habit of having fun in life, whereas guys don’t ever seem to outgrow the need to have a friendly go on the PlayStation 3 or get out for jungle trekking expeditions. Just look at where we spend our money; big boys go for their toys – sports cars, DVD collections and top of the line computers, whereas women seemingly enjoy self-esteem killing shopping trips (should I buy the size L that fits me properly or the S that I can wear only if I don’t breathe?) and painful excursions to the beauty salon (bikini waxing – torture on the groin AND wallet!).

Like they say, all work and no play makes Jill a dull – not to mention stressed and neurotic! – girl. Whether you decide to have a fortnightly Girls’ Night Out, sign up for pole dancing with your sisters, or participate in a national pie-eating competition, even if you only challenge your significant other to a video game showdown, make it a point to rediscover your fun, lighthearted side; go out and play!

Guy lesson – Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want

My husband tells me that he wants to have goreng pisang for afternoon tea – will I drive 20 minutes away and pick some up for him? He says, I really don’t like driving the kids to tuition, can you do it so I can get an afternoon nap? His requests are endless, specific and unapologetic. Why is it, then, that I don’t do the same?

Not asking for what we want is a girl thing. We are the fair sex, the gentle, subtle yin. We imply, we infer, we suggest, rather than instruct. Whether it’s the little things such as asking our husbands for a little more attention in the sack or asking the boss for a raise, the fear of rejection and creating conflict means keeping mum is the norm for us. Even if your motto is “que sera sera” and you’re happy to just let things be, consider speaking up once in a while. The more you ask the more chances you will be refused, but if you don’t ask at all, you’ll never give others a chance to agree.

Guy lesson – Exercise is not a dirty word

We all know exercise is good for you, helps you to release stress, mood-enhancing endorphins and builds up your confidence. The trouble is, most women never get in the habit of getting regular exercise. With that masochistic mantra “No Pain, No Gain” we associate fitness with, is it any wonder so many of us choose to get our workouts from refrigerator door opening?

Men, on the other hand, don’t even pretend to exercise, but they get plenty of it when they enjoy a game of golf or football with their buddies. The key is to find an activity that you really enjoy and can’t wait to do as often as you can. Take a leaf out of the guys’ book and make it a social activity – dust off that old badminton racquet, sign up for kick-boxing lessons or get your hands on a mountain bike and get out there with the girls! You’ll regain your fat-burning muscle, kick-start your metabolism and sculpt a sexier silhouette. How’s that for a bonus?

Guy lesson – Put yourself first

Women get home from work and immediately shift into the nurturing roles of a wife or mother. We push ourselves to excel in our careers, yet feel inadequate if we don’t give it our all in the home front as well. Men take their time getting home, and do nothing more strenuous than take in the evening news and wash their hands before dinner. They think nothing of paying hefty fees for golfing memberships and don’t hesitate to put aside funds for their personal insurance.

To the masculine mind, caring for himself is a very important thing, and rightly so. If he doesn’t look after himself, anything that happens to him will affect his family. Women, however, believe that self-sacrifice is the key to a harmonious and prosperous family life. We’re not asking you to throw in the towel and abandon house and home for a year-long finding-yourself trek through the Himalayas. Even something as simple as taking a yoga class once a week, or arranging for your parents to watch the kids once a week so you can take a little time out can help you destress and regain a sense of self worth. Remember, loving yourself is the first step to giving love to everyone around you.

Guy lesson – Let bygones be bygones

I still remember my horror and outrage the day my brother took apart the brand new Minnie Mouse watch I got for my sixth birthday. He, on the other hand, professes no recollection of the event. My cousin still cringes at the memory of the day her classmate placed an earthworm inside her school bag. Her aversion to the slimy garden-dwellers – and the classmate – persists to this day.

A long memory is both a blessing and a curse to women. Long after the fact, we can recall with excruciating detail events that could be better off forgotten. Whether its that debacle with the stock market five years ago, or the way your husband got drunk at your wedding, hanging on to past wrongs just creates conflict and anger in your mind. Think about it, do you want to spend your twilight years still bearing a grudge at your sister for an argument that you barely remember? When you learn to let go, to forgive and forget, you boost your inner serenity, sense of wellbeing and peace of mind.

Guy lesson – Don’t let your heart rule your head

Weddings, romantic movies and a sweet gesture from a significant other – they all serve to turn us girls to mush. Likewise, after an argument with a loved one or when the boss reprimands us for a mistake, our stress levels go sky high and our emotions are deeply affected.

Though we accuse the men in our lives of being insensitive, their resilience to upsetting and emotional events is something we could learn a thing or two about. Having a thicker skin helps you, for instance, to keep a stiff upper lip when people spread rumors about you, or to stay calm and confident when a road bully threatens you. Think things through with a clear head before you let your emotions rule your actions when unexpected situations arise.

Though men don’t have all the answers, we can borrow from the masculine repertoire to observe secrets of fulfillment that women don’t always get. However, being happy is a state of mind that only you can define. If we can learn that happiness is in our own hands, not dictated by others, that is a big step in the direction of true inner happiness.

Famous Quotes about Happiness:

Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present.

–Jim Rohn.

The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise grows it under his feet.

–James Oppenheim.

Happiness is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it but only YOU can feel the warmth…

–Ashton Kutcher.

Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be. –Abraham Lincoln.

Happiness is a conscious choice, not an automatic response.

– Mildred Barthel.

“We are never so happy, nor so unhappy, as we suppose ourselves to be.”

– La Rochefoucauld.

Read all about it – Books about happiness:

• The Geography of Bliss (Readers Circle Series), by Eric Weiner, Twelve, 2008
• Weiner, a self-proclaimed grump travels the world to understand what makes people in one country think they are happier than others. Along the way he learns valuable lessons about the meaning of true happiness and contentment.
• Stumbling on Happiness, by Daniel Gilbert, Vintage, 2007
• A funny, introspective, scientifically-based approach to the pursuit of happiness from a professor of psychology at Harvard.
• Happiness: The Science Behind Your Smile, Daniel Nettle, Oxford University Press, 2006
• Americans are richer, live longer and better educated than ever before yet they are no happier than their forebears. A British psychologist, Nettle examines how people define happiness, the methods they use to achieve it, and how true contentment can be attained.