Watch Those Words

All day we function in the realm of words. Do you know that story or rhyme about a little boy that includes these words: “When he was good, he was very, very good and when he was bad he was horrid?” We can say the same about words, can’t we? When they are good, they are very, very good, and when they are bad they are downright destructive.

Few can doubt that words can be a formidable weapon. The childhood ditty, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me” gives us a false sense of invincibility, but they ring a negative note. In fact, this might be a truer saying: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can do irreparable damage.

Most of us can attest to the experience of being emotionally wounded by someone’s words. Sometimes we hear negative or hurtful words long after they’re said. We agonize over a disrespectful or disparaging remark, turning it over and over in our heads. The other person might say it only once, but the words cling to our minds like a parasite, slowly sucking us dry of every resolve not to let it trouble or cripple us.

It’s been said that words have no meaning in themselves, but only take on meaning in the context in which they are spoken or heard. We give words meaning when we utter them. Moreover, we give words their power when we clothed them with our tone, our emotions, our body language and our intent.

The words we speak

We are responsible for the words we speak and the consequences that accrue once they leave our lips. At some time or another, we all speak words that hurt. We use words to control, belittle and abuse one another.

Very often in our attempt to insist on our rights and bolster our pride, we speak words that showcase our insensitivity or our disrespect for others. Then we dismiss they pain. When someone is hurt or feels demoralized by our words, their injured feelings are valid and deserve to be handled like any other wound that needs to be treated and set to heal.

Do you believe that it is your god-given right to say whatever’s on your mind and verbally confront every actual or perceived enemy regardless of the consequences? Do you have an aversion to letting go of an issue? Is “tit for tat” and “giving them good” your life mantras?