Watch Those Words
by All day we function in the realm of words. Do you know that story or rhyme about a little boy that includes these words: “When he was good, he was very, very good and when he was bad he was horrid?” We can say the same about words, can’t we? When they are good, they are very, very good, and when they are bad they are downright destructive.
There is such futility in a war of words, with each side demanding to be heard, spewing venom and taking hits that might leave a lifetime of damage.
The words we hear
We also give words meaning and power when we allow them to brutalize our emotions, shatter our hearts, cripple us with fear, whittle away at our confidence, stunt our personal and professional growth, and cause us to doubt our feelings, our abilities and our decisions.
Are we to blame, when someone’s words creep into or blast their way into our lives and wreak havoc with our feelings? Even if we say that we are not responsible for how someone’s words affect us initially, we must accept some responsibility for how we empower those words to linger, fester and erode our ability to live happy and fulfilled lives.
It’s sad when something we say, with no hurtful intent, deprives someone of a joyful and productive day. Even worse, is when the words we speak are designed to cut through and ravage someone’s feelings.
In a physical war, bombs spew shrapnel in the body and they may never be removed. Scar tissue grows around the wounds inside, scabs form on the outside and a superficial healing takes place. The wounded learns to resume a fairly normal life and function at an acceptable and even comfortable level. In the early days, it takes little to rip the fragile outer scab and reactivate the old wound. Even later, when the scab has done its work and falls off, the area remains tender to the touch. And, for the rest of their lives, if enough pressure is exerted, war survivors feel the faint remains of discomfort and pain.
In the same way, words can leave shrapnel in the soul long after the bomb explodes and the smoke clears. Plus, it can be a long, painful process to remove them. Then, when we think we have rid ourselves of the pieces of sharp, jarring metal, we discover that there are still remnants deep within the tissue of our being.
We can be free of the lasting effects of hurtful words when we locate the reason why the shrapnel remains and identify the triggers that reactivate them. We may not have the power to avoid the recurrence of those incidents but surely, we can minimize their power to inflict that kind of pain in the future.
We can ease the negative effect of the words we speak, if we take a moment to think before we talk, set aside our own pain and pride and adopt a new mantra of courtesy and respect for others. We must own our responsibility for the words that travel from our lips to someone’s ears.
When you speak, are your words good, bad or downright destructive? Let us leave the hurtful words behind and strive to speak words that correct without malice, help, encourage, honour and heal.
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