When You Lose

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Blaming yourself

In both team and individual competitions, it’s easy to degrade yourself for mistakes—you miss your serves in tennis or forget your song at a music competition.  Blaming yourself doesn’t change the situation.

Instead, analyze what went wrong with and correct how to correct it next time.  Make a plan to improve weak ideas, strategies, or actions.

Blaming others

You might blame others because it’s easier than accepting what really caused the loss.  Did you lose because of bad calls or because the team didn’t play well together?  Were the poor playing conditions the problem or the team’s skills?

Sometimes a loss may actually be someone else’s fault.  Since you can’t change it, accept it.  Blaming others makes you feel better temporarily, but it doesn’t change the loss.

Dwelling on it builds feelings of resentment and a poor attitude.  Accept the loss and move on.  Look ahead to the next game or competition.

Letting things get out of perspective

Losing is hard.  Sometimes you may fee that your whole year was ruined and nothing else mattered except winning this competition you worked so hard to prepare for.  This happens when things go out of perspective and nothing matters except this event.  While competitions are important, they are only a small part of life.

Don’t let one game, music competition, science fair, or other event dominate your life.  You are part of a family, you have hobbies, you’re involved in group projects, church or community activities and a multitude of other things.  Focus on your life as a whole, and losses won’t seem so great.

Letting loss hurt your character

Maintain integrity even in the face of loss.  A bad temper, poor attitude, or foul language mars your character.  Rise above the loss and react in a positive manner.  Accept the loss and congratulate the winner.

Losing isn’t easy for anyone, but you can avoid the pitfalls of blaming yourself or others, letting things get out of perspective, or damaging your character.  Accept loss and determine to do better.  Next time you may be the winner!

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