We always read/hear about the damaged and broken men in our society and families, but rarely do we highlight the men who, in spite of their past mistakes, trials and tribulations, choose to love freely and live their lives with integrity; conscientious of the rights, needs and boundaries of others.

I’m talking about men like my father and many of my brothers; men whom I have loved in my past and been befriended by platonically. The men who taught me how to identify healthy and self-less characteristic traits in men. These men taught me that there was no weakness in admitting to mistakes and short-comings, but weakness in hanging on to the past and allowing it to infect the future. Men who taught me how to love myself first so that I could love others.

They taught me that no woman can ever emasculate a truly good man because a truly good man knows that his integrity, manhood and dignity are not tools that can be broken, they are the essence of his being. That’s why unbroken men are never broken by bad relationships. They are made wiser and stronger.

The “blue-collar” brothers that we fail to notice due to their occupations and addresses, looks, style of dress get it from both ends of the spectrum and I can imagine that must be frustrating. These men are our mail carriers, sanitation men, restaurant managers, truck drivers, policemen, firemen, repairmen, teachers, delivery men and our nation’s military servicemen. They may not “glitter” but if some of us gave them a chance, they just might blossom for us. You might be surprised at how good of time you could have with one of them by doing the simple things. And those “simple” things will (I promise you) lead to much, much more. They always do, especially when the love is true. These are some of the good brothers out here who put their noses to the grind every day; take care of their families, their children (and some that aren’t theirs) and their communities. They are not prevaricators.

No, these good brothers will not allow us to use them or make them feel like they owe us simply because we have been hurt, used or beat down by other brothers. They are not members of any underground societies. They have not used or hurt us and they will not be made to pay dues they never owed. You will either trust and let them love you or you won’t. They are not afraid to walk away…and stay away.

No, they will not allow us to emasculate them by loud talking them in their homes let alone public. They will not be made to feel less intelligent or important because their education or career does not measure up in the eyes of society, you or the opinions of your family or friends. They are good men, period. With or without matching degrees, cars, bank accounts or careers.

No, our degrees or well-paying careers/jobs do not intimidate them. They are proud to know a woman who can carry her own, but isn’t so disillusioned that she believes it makes her better than him nor does she allow it to draw a wedge between them. No, they will not give in to whimsical, irrational, inquietus or selfish demands in order to prove their love for us. This does not demonstrate love or devotion rather it is indicative of weak and desperate man.

A good brother is a man in every sense of the word. He knows that he is a leader and the head of his family, home and relationship. He loves the Lord and knows his word and either lives by it word for word or walks in faith and comes as close as a human being can to it. He isn’t doing drugs, selling them, amassing lovers and leaving his seed strewn about. He isn’t beating, using, abusing or lying to women. His actions match his words.

If he has to be “checked” because, as a human being will do, he makes a mistake or crosses a line, he is not shaken or lessened because he realizes he is human and therefore fallible, and there is no shame in admitting to a mistake.

Below, you will find 10 of the characteristic traits of an unbroken, good man:

~ He is a man who can chronicle for you the trials and tribulations he has endured throughout his life. You will hear how the good, the bad and the ugly have served to make him wiser and better, not lessened and demeaned.

~ He’s the subtly eager man who can’t wait to reach out to another person wading through life’s turbulent times and show him how to emerge a better man.

~ He loves cautiously, but just as passionately as he did his first love.

~ His shell is tough, but his heart is tender and strong. His strength is in his reserve.

~ He doesn’t buy or lease his friendships, acquaintances, family or relationships. His ability to see beyond his flaws or shortcomings enables him to improve himself without sacrificing those around him.

~ He may not meet society’s perception of physical beauty or material wealth, but both attributes reflect from within him like a beacon.

~ He does not pay lip service to God’s word, as a matter of fact you never hear him say it at all because he lives, breathes and exudes it in all that he says and does.

~ He is surrounded by other good men.

~ He’s upfront, never evasive. You know exactly where he’s coming from.

~ His words match his actions.

Today and everyday, we must seek out and acknowledge the good, unbroken men amongst us. There are plenty, we just have to learn how to spot them. The “little men” we are birthing and raising must be shaped and molded to be unbroken, good men BEFORE birth. Choose their fathers carefully……………………………