Learning is an everyday process, and as human beings we are required to learn. We acquire knowledge both in and out of the classroom, but one subject of importance to me is that of the opposite sex. In my quest for this knowledge, I walked into the book store “Relationships”, located on the corner of Waterfront Avenue and what did I see? You’re right – books. But a book on the front row display caught my attention it had the title, “10 Steps to Get His Attention”.

The front cover had the head of a man turned to the right by a woman’s index finger on his chin to get his attention. This aroused my curiosity so I picked it up. When I opened the book, what I discovered was rather shocking because the topics on the table of content were applicable to me. I wondered if these steps would be applicable to both men and women since they were required not only to get the attention but also to keep it.

Here are a few steps I unraveled, and believe me they are worth holding on to:

First, let’s get the attention with a little Eye Contact.

This bold gesture can be done almost anywhere. If you’re attracted to a lady, a little eye contact wouldn’t hurt. Let her know you looked her way, let the look be more of a compliment than that of sexual attraction. Let it be more of a passing glance, brief enough to make her know that you looked her way. This way the look you create would be so honest that it will seem like a coincidence.

After you’ve done that, stare intentionally. This should last longer than the look, as staring shows interest.

At this point, it is advisable not to rush. Wait! Wait for an opportunity to present itself and when it does, be ready for the next phase which is:

The Hand Shake!

Some people feel a handshake is just natural. We meet, introduce ourselves shake hands and that’s all. Well, I disagree. This is because over time, I have come to realize what a simple handshake, complimented with a smile can do.

I had started dating Alice, when she told me how she had known I liked her. She said that apart from the stares and stolen glances, she confirmed it in the way I shook her hand when we were properly introduced. As my hands were the warmest she shook that day. You might think she was just saying that, but I was not surprised hearing it since the handshake was well rehearsed. I had known she was invited to the gathering so I practiced how I would behave when we met. I rehearsed the gentility in the touch with my sister (sisters are good accomplices) and my charming smile in the mirror.

If you are searching for a friend, avoid turning the handshake into a caress as this might send a wrong signal. Make it simple and gentle. The gentle nature will show your care and tenderness. You don’t believe me? Ask Jennifer because after I shook her, she found it difficult to let go. So I braced myself for the next stage which is, Good Conversation.

Nothing stays longer in memory than a well structured conversation. From research, it has been discovered that: “women react more to what they hear than what they see”. So, practicing your conversation would not be a crime. A compliment makes a good opening line. Most guys must have complimented her looks so before she gets to you, she must have heard a lot of “Hey Tammy, you look good” or “Nice dress”. So, in your case, compliment not only the top, pants, dress, earrings, shoes or anything every other guy must have commented on but also talk about the color. Most women admire men with a good sense of color (so be sure you are wearing a color that compliments you). Look out for how the color blends with maybe her makeup or earring. But if it doesn’t, don’t refer to it.

Compliment her if she is dressed beautifully and you can add that her smile is too radiant to be hidden.
If she has on a bright color, then you are in luck just tie it to the smile. If you feel it is not the time, then don’t say it. The compliment is only an introduction but it can serve as the building block for a good conversation because with complimenting her smile, the ground is set for why you said so. You can now delve into a brief history of lovely smiles. Give examples of beautiful and ugly celebrities (the ugly ones will make her laugh). You can even pick some examples from those around that seem oblivious of both your existence.

If you are prepared mentally, then the conversation will be so good that it would sound just like the wolf in “Little Red Riding Hood” when answering her questions. At this juncture, (if you get here) it would be nice to follow John Legend’s advice and “take it slow”! Now you’ve become friends and the words you have said would keep ringing in her head. Sure you want it to last but there’s still a lot of work to be done because friendship is a whole new ball game. That is when you can now play the rest of the cards that will be discussed in the next article…

If you are not friends yet, try this- Patience.

Patience is a good quality that needs to be exploited when searching for a friend especially when it is a friendship you expect to last a life time. You don’t believe me? Ask Sheila.