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Love and Marriage: Why Younger Men Prefer Older Women

Younger men are increasingly attracted to older women for more reasons than we are willing to admit. From their caring nature to having more money, older women seem to have much more to give younger men, and for this reason younger women are losing out and wondering where all the good men must have gone. Whether we accept or condemn them, these unions have become a permanent feature of our lopsided society.

You must have come across men aged in their twenties falling for older women of sixty or seventy years. Many such marriages have taken place with societies frowning upon them, distancing themselves or even condemning the couples involved. Who should we blame? The younger men who see something in older women that isn’t in younger women or the old women who find solace and even thrill in younger men? Whichever generation you side with, younger men will still look out for older women till the end of time. Why do they prefer older women?

  1. Older women are caring – Younger men see an extension of a mother they might have never had. Psychologists call it fixation. Most young men who fall in love or pretend to fall in love with older women happen to be in search of the mother they never had. Maybe parents separated or divorced or the mother died at a younger age and those psychological needs remained unsatisfied, this could contribute a lot to this fatal attraction which society frowns upon more often than not.
  2. Older women are experienced lovers – They have seen it all and have done it too. Their estrogen levels are lower now but the experience they have accumulated over the years can not be written off. They know when to talk, they know when to listen, and they know where to touch and are not shy to reveal what works for them. They have what it takes to make a man, any man, young or old, happy. Why not find one and wile away the hours?
  3. The fear of parenting – Marrying a fellow youngster has its downside. Most young women have to constantly guard against issues such as monthly periods and or pregnancy risks which women in their sixties or seventies do not bother with. Very few men, given the option would gladly accept to take responsibility for a pregnancy resulting from sleeping around and this seems to replicate itself under similar circumstances.
  4. Young women lack manners and respect – Think of all the nagging, all the drama, and pestering, think of everything that young men do that put pressure on men of their age. No man wants to be reminded how others are more successful than he is, or how he needs to work harder and earn more when he is already trying hard enough. Young women put a man on his toes all the time and tend to lack manners and or respect for their husbands. Compare this with older women who provide for the man instead of waiting for him to spend and spend even more on them.
  5. Physical and emotional needs – Who doesn’t need love, who doesn’t need affection, who doesn’t need to have good sex even if it means once a year? Older men seem to forget that older women too have a sexuality of their own, they seem to forget that older women too may need love and affection, and sex too, and that they have physical and emotional needs that require attention. When the same older women feel abandoned, it is only logical to fall for a younger man to supply the missing ingredients.
  6. Money – We can not rule out the issue of money in such unions. More often than not, younger men who fall for and marry older women are lured by more money than they would hope to get elsewhere as a result of gainful employment. While the economy plummets further everyday, and young men find themselves broke and jobless, the desire to hang around an older woman who has the money but asks ‘nothing else’ in return may drive younger men in search of this greener pasture.
  7. Nature tends towards destruction – We have been told that opposites attract. The bad boy attracts the good girls and the bad girl attracts all the good men. It is this opposite attraction, it is this attraction to what is unacceptable, it is this tendency to go for what the society abhors that drives young men into the arms of women old enough to be their mothers or grandmothers.
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  1. LoveDoctor

    On September 8, 2010 at 9:57 am


    Good article with interesting views.

    This is new stuff to me. In the U.S, most guys are attracted to younger women. In Florida, you see a lot of guys in their mid and late 40’s with 20 something year olds. I don’t think age is a big deal as long as there is trust and respect. I have never heard of younger men being attracted to older women unless she is rich and supporting him.

    Young women lack manners and respect…..False.
    Physical and emotional needs: we all have them regardless of age.

    older women are experienced lovers- True, but do you really want to go to bed with jello?

    Younger women are caring too. Did I say sexier too? lol.

  2. ashan1614

    On September 8, 2010 at 10:30 am


    I can’t totally agree with the Love Doc here. Although, I haven’t seen much of men dating women old enough to be their mothers, I have seen more and more guys dating and marrying women 5-15 years their senior. Why? They say these women are more confident, more finacially and emotionally stable, less clingy and needy because they have more outside interests of their own. She can carry on a conversation about more than shopping and the hottest new club. And yes, that older women are more respectful and mannerable – too many young women are influenced by all the reality TV mess out there and many are loud, obnoxious and foul-mouthed. And far too many dress as if they are selling it on the nearest street corner. And there are plenty of older women who keep themselves in good physical shape – moreso than in years past. (Jello? Really, Doc?) Older women know how to be stylish and sexy without showing all their goods to the world. There is an air of mystery about them that men – no matter what age – find appealing.

    I am 47 years old myself, and find that I can still turn the head of a 20-something man. Why? Mostly because of the way I carry and present myself. And while I don’t have the body I did at 20 (having bourne 2 children), I am not even close to being “jello”.

    Sounds to me like someone might have lost someone to and older woman?????

  3. zulfiqarali5

    On September 8, 2010 at 10:36 am


    nice share thanks

  4. PSingh1990

    On September 8, 2010 at 10:45 am


    Nice Share.

    :-)

  5. J M Lennox

    On September 8, 2010 at 11:42 am


    Jimmy – you certainly know how to create controversy. :-)

  6. Ethics0006

    On September 8, 2010 at 12:24 pm


    I don\’t like this

  7. mo hoyal

    On September 8, 2010 at 1:07 pm


    Of course since I am an older woman, I enjoyed reading this Jimmy, but my experience has mostly seen younger men not looking at older women!!! Or at least that’s the way things are here in the south???
    Very good article though and I enjoyed reading it.

  8. BRENDAKSHELTON

    On September 8, 2010 at 1:21 pm


    Yes but I hope women and men will stick to marriage vows because they swore before God to keep their marriage first.

  9. zain0077

    On September 8, 2010 at 1:23 pm


    Nice share.

  10. Jimmy Shilaho

    On September 8, 2010 at 1:37 pm


    Love Doc, some day you will grow old and realize how things change for the better. You will no longer be rush and neither will you be throwing tantrums like most young women do.
    Andrea, I totally agree with you. I exaggerated when stating the age disparity but then, that was to drive my point home, thanks for the additional information.
    Mo Hoyal, you may need to migrate somewhere else and….
    J.M Lennox, its not controversy, its what is happening. Am sure you still make heads turn but do not stop to consider that….
    Brenda, vows no longer mean anything really.
    Thanks everyone.

  11. Fornis

    On September 8, 2010 at 2:24 pm


    Good article.. I too used to think so for sometime. Now I can\’t think so anymore. Younger women (younger than ourselves) make a satisfactory life without serious regrets. That is my opinion and feel that many would agree with it.

  12. Fornis

    On September 8, 2010 at 2:24 pm


    However if the age difference is only one or two years, it is not a problem.

  13. yes me

    On September 8, 2010 at 2:34 pm


    There was a dance hall in Glasgow years ago, and on more than one occation, I heard it refferd to as the grab a… granny club ha ha liked your list cheers

  14. Val Mills

    On September 8, 2010 at 3:44 pm


    Jimmy, what I want to read now is an article written by your wife on her reaction to all your latest articles – hopefully she is laughing loud at your naughtiness :-)

  15. Starpisces

    On September 8, 2010 at 6:49 pm


    very interesting post as usual, Jimmy.
    I think age gap of less than 10 yrs should be okay, depend on individual’s maturity.
    Well, I’m not too sure, see what the rest say, haha.
    @_@

  16. giftarist

    On September 8, 2010 at 8:12 pm


    I don’t really have a strong opinion about this. I just find this discussion interesting. :D

  17. drelayaraja

    On September 8, 2010 at 8:39 pm


    Very well crafted. I don’t really see age difference (10-20 years) as a factor that is responsible for attraction. Love can be anywhere, anytime and with anyone. It is the young mind that make it possible.

  18. Anuradha Ramkumar

    On September 9, 2010 at 12:02 am


    Another interesting share from you. I’ve seen younger men marrying older women; an example would be the famous cricketer Sachin Tendulkar who is 5 years younger that his wife.

  19. Mark Gordon Brown

    On September 9, 2010 at 12:06 am


    I actually have found young women were attracted to me, particularly when I dressed goth and looked a lot younger than I am.

  20. Emancipation

    On September 9, 2010 at 2:45 am


    We like the mixture of maturity, experience and that mothering feeling ;-)
    Great write.

  21. Rehoboth

    On September 9, 2010 at 2:47 am


    $- very interesting-$

  22. Christine Ramsay

    On September 9, 2010 at 3:19 am


    We older women have such a lot to offer that I am not at all surprised at these views. An enjoyable read.

    Christine

  23. Likha

    On September 9, 2010 at 5:36 am


    I’ve gone through this at some point in my life and I must say that “age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” Men will have reasons for their age preferences in women but when it comes to real love and marriage, it is a meeting of souls that transcends age and what is physical.

  24. Jimmy Shilaho

    On September 9, 2010 at 6:32 am


    Hey Val, Mercy knows that as a writer I should try to get people talking and she can not throw a tantrum. Well, thanks everyone for your comments.

  25. webseowriters

    On September 9, 2010 at 6:44 am


    I agree with every age turning point you feel something new and somewhat change in your feelings.

  26. clandestinef

    On September 9, 2010 at 7:14 am


    I hope I could find a man little older than me… great share!

  27. Phoenix Montoya

    On September 9, 2010 at 8:47 am


    I guess when it comes to love age doesn’t matter. Good post Jimmy.

  28. Itulung

    On September 9, 2010 at 9:21 am


    Im 17 going out with a lady who is 27..;-)

  29. melphens

    On September 9, 2010 at 9:33 am


    I prefer older women in late 20’s .. interesting article. ^^

  30. Michal Dorcak

    On September 9, 2010 at 10:21 am


    Interesting article. Now I know why some guys go for older women. Though, I still can’t quite understand it as I am only attracted to women/girls of approximately my age (+, – 3-4 years). And I can say that I am a young guy (21) :)

  31. Raj the Tora

    On September 9, 2010 at 10:42 am


    Until both the minds mingle, then love happens. Age should never be a deciding factor. I totally agree :)

  32. heidiefernandez

    On September 9, 2010 at 11:00 am


    It’s not a question of age…. but the wisdom you got from them…..

  33. CRYSTAL EVANS

    On September 9, 2010 at 11:04 am


    true. i have seen a lot of younger men with older women in Jamaica but its mainly for financial purposes and i think it was socially coerce since younger women are often attracted to older men for the same reasons. everybody wants money and older folks have money therefore younger folks will marry and sleep with people twice their age to get it. it is rarely for love that younger men have relationship with older women in Jamaica. additionally most younger men sometimes cant get young women and the older women are easy and desperate for companion ship as the men their age group no longer pays them any attention.

  34. hosariwi

    On September 9, 2010 at 11:25 am


    This is a strange phenomenon to us here in Kenya. Most couples have men 3 or so years older than their wives. There are some rare cases whereby the couples are age-mates, or the wife is 2 or so years older. This is the youngish generation who are 46 and below. This is a very creative article on a very interesting topic.

  35. Melinda J

    On September 9, 2010 at 12:10 pm


    :)

  36. Snooky

    On September 9, 2010 at 12:15 pm


    Good entertaing article
    And for those who say they do not see many young men and musch older women out together it is because older women know how to thouroughly entertain thier men at home no need to go out

  37. Jewelstar

    On September 9, 2010 at 12:43 pm


    I’m not talking about flirting….but for true love age is not a barrier. Whether the woman is older than the man or vice versa.

    It depends on how you can get along with each other in true understanding, acceptance, respect and your love for your partner.

  38. deklin42

    On September 9, 2010 at 1:30 pm


    Woa! When you write twenty year old men going with 60 and 70 year old women, i was shocked. I thought u meant like, twenty with 35. But still a good article. Such an interesting topic.

  39. livemike

    On September 9, 2010 at 5:12 pm


    I agree with love doc !! Most guys go for the younger women..A very small amount guys stay with the older women….To be honest i was suprised to see your unfair comments on love doc..I see mothing wrong with what she said..In fact is was more accurate than your article and more honest..We all need to accept comments on our material without being rude to people who make an effort to read it especially when there is nothing wrong with the comment!! Parhaps you should take a look at your own tantrums??

  40. Mickey Veluxe

    On September 9, 2010 at 6:28 pm


    True, true and true the only shady part for me is the 60-70 age range, that might be a bit too old. Bottom line is that for most men the older women is quite attracting but they still wind up going for younger women VERY VERY FREQUENTLY.

  41. akira14

    On September 9, 2010 at 6:42 pm


    well, in my husband’s case, he preferred younger woman because he’s older than me..lol! but on my part i as a younger one, i preferred older because they are more matured and sympathetic

  42. Ruby Hawk

    On September 9, 2010 at 7:38 pm


    I have been acquainted with three older women who have a relationship or marriage with much younger men. I think the guy is looking for a mother figure. I don’t have a clue what the woman is looking for. Well, I do have an idea.

  43. LCM Linda

    On September 9, 2010 at 10:11 pm


    Young men may want someone to take care of them but release them the burden to take care the other party. This is my guess only. Thanks for sharing.

  44. Aiyanna

    On September 10, 2010 at 2:47 am


    I was once told age is but a number, you are as old as you want to be. Trust me, that made me feel young again. I have two people in my family who are married/set to marry older women. Both of them told me that they found them more mature and understanding and it was more to do with compatability and the ability to work in synergy and increase productivity by 10 fold. Both of them are very successful too…
    Good post, this really does help in spreading the awareness about a different kind of a union, where age is no bar.

  45. sandcastle

    On September 10, 2010 at 3:31 am


    I came to believe in both cases, men or women, it is always good to marry someone you own age or within 1 to 3 years age difference.Beyond that, someone is marrying into convenience at the expense of the other person and this will definitely put a toll in a relationship.

  46. marilougo

    On September 10, 2010 at 5:19 am


    trully an entertaining article jimmy. the age gap maybe a little too much for creative thinkers hehehe when i was in my late 30’s i used to date a guy in his mid 20’s and that was fun — do you know why? when we go out, no one can tell am much older because he looks older than me really. am now 50, but even my doctors think i can cheat on numbers… :)

  47. Enrico A Stennett

    On September 10, 2010 at 3:49 pm


    Very Good Article, maturity has a lot going for it, you cant beat the maturity of an older woman, shes done it all by the time shes in her 50’s, as long as she still has good health, without that you cant go far.

  48. jimbob1

    On September 11, 2010 at 12:46 am


    Hey Jimmy…this was an interesting article and I voted that I like it…I find it interesting that the combination is older women/younger men and older men/younger women…v-e-r-r-r-y
    interesting!!! thanks for the research and submission…great stuff…

  49. Goodselfme

    On September 11, 2010 at 2:01 am


    Good info and from my prospecitve true. I have date much younger men than myself and they seem more taken with me than I was with them. I think it all depends on the person. Both women and men when compatible the partnership is wonderful. I am still in my search.

  50. LOVELYHONEY

    On September 11, 2010 at 7:03 am


    lovely
    do read hill and jill stuff the answer lies therein
    older women want harder ones and younger men want moneyed ones

    the end result is the same younger boys will keep another younger one for the next nite
    remember roxanne alls for u that i do with men and women only for u
    well done sir nice read this

  51. Hendrik

    On September 11, 2010 at 7:43 am


    Let you think!

  52. krrymarie

    On September 11, 2010 at 8:36 am


    A good article age really should not matter if you love someone, and treat each other right then there should be no problem!
    I know some men that are with younger older woman and they are so happy together. I know he is happier than he has been when he has seen a girl his own age!
    Yes the older younger marriage doesn’t always work but then again even the same age marriages don’t.
    As long as both people are happy why does it really matter?
    Yes there has to be an age limit for the woman like being 30 odd and seeing a 16 year old!

  53. L. Rose

    On September 11, 2010 at 10:48 am


    I am an older woman and do not agree with your viewpoint. What you are describing is a Gigolo. Sorry you feel that way but it is obvious that you wouldn’t be suitable for an older woman because you have no idea what “they” are looking for!

  54. dwyseone

    On September 11, 2010 at 11:11 am


    Nice share. couldn’t agree less

  55. tibo9z

    On September 11, 2010 at 9:29 pm


    nice share, thanks

  56. achilles2010

    On September 12, 2010 at 9:00 am


    Nice article, I did come across some younger women marrying older men, but never a younger man marrying an older women. Young women marry older men for obvious reasons: for their money. The end up reach and then later marry the men of their choice to live comfortably for the rest of their lives. A young man too might marry an older woman for more or less the same reason: money. I see no attraction other than this. Nice share, I like it.

  57. himatjamil

    On September 12, 2010 at 4:36 pm


    good great observations

  58. Dawn marie

    On September 13, 2010 at 1:01 am


    If the age gap is just round about 1 to 2 years then it’s alright but like 10 to 12 years,I think both sides will have difficulties to understand each other just like our friend,He is 28 and his girlfriend is 44 with 3 children and the eldest is about 24 years old.Yes I know that age doesn’t matter and he explains that she guides him but the only problem is the side of the kids which really don’t accept that their mom got younger boyfriend.

  59. Borhan

    On September 13, 2010 at 3:01 am


    Interesting psycho analysis.

  60. Lord Banks

    On September 13, 2010 at 8:05 am


    This great article has opened a tin of worms for sure! when I was younger I did seek the company, and more of older women and why not spring and autumn is a well known phrase here in little ole Britain. As I have grown older myself personality and kindness matter more to me than age either way younger or older? as long as I’m happy and so is my partner thats great. By the way my partner is 9 years younger than me! just to confuse the issue lol. good work. LB

  61. Lord Banks

    On September 13, 2010 at 8:06 am


    This great article has opened a tin of worms for sure! when I was younger I did seek the company, and more of older women and why not spring and autumn is a well known phrase here in little ole Britain. As I have grown older myself personality and kindness matter more to me than age either way younger or older? as long as I\’m happy and so is my partner thats great. By the way my partner is 9 years younger than me! just to confuse the issue lol. good work. LB

  62. Lord Banks

    On September 13, 2010 at 8:06 am


    This great article has opened a tin of worms for sure! when I was younger I did seek the company, and more of older women and why not spring and autumn is a well known phrase here in little ole Britain. As I have grown older myself personality and kindness matter more to me than age either way younger or older? as long as Im happy and so is my partner thats great. By the way my partner is 9 years younger than me! just to confuse the issue lol. good work. LB

  63. Lord Banks

    On September 13, 2010 at 8:07 am


    This great article has opened a tin of worms for sure! when I was younger I did seek the company, and more of older women and why not spring and autumn is a well known phrase here in little ole Britain. As I have grown older myself personality and kindness matter more to me than age either way younger or older? as long as Im happy and so is my partner thats great. By the way my partner is 9 years younger than me! just to confuse the issue lol. good work. LB

  64. SharifaMcFarlane

    On September 13, 2010 at 8:11 am


    If two people find what they are looking for in each other they won\’t let the other person\’s age be a deterrent.
    In Japan more professional women are marrying younger men. Part of the reason is that younger men have a different view of the role of women.

    However before marriage some persons have to do a bit of soul searching.
    Sometimes a younger man has to work really hard to convince an older woman that he is the right one for her, not just as a friend but as a husband.
    Older women have their reservations too.

  65. angelababy

    On April 3, 2011 at 4:09 pm


    Thanks for your article. I agree with most of your points.

    It always amazes me how society controls our minds so that we all have to have the same opinion when coming to ageism and we have to be influenced by what people think and as a result become very judgmental. People should be free to love, marry and have relationships with whomever they wish. It reminds me of a very good relationship that was ended because of the man’s mother.

    It seems O.K. for an old, bending, helpless man to marry a very young woman even if it is for his money and then we willingly accept the relationship but when the opposite occurs and the guy decides he wants an older woman whether she has money or not and has other needs, that it is not O.K. Well, if a guy thinks that way, what does it really have to do with you or me? They are not living in our homes or depending on us for anything.

    I am glad that older women don’t have to see all of their friends happy with their husbands and families any more. Wake up people we are now living in modern times. Women are educated, earning good salaries, well travelled and independent and if this is what they want, why not. Young men and women who get married are also looking for money and other benefits. So if an older woman wants to share her money and her life with a younger man, why does this really bother us? I am sure older women are not stupid and know the pros and cons of such a relationship. And why do you think it is impossible for a younger man to genuinely fall in love with an attractive, well-mannered, very nice older woman? Why can’t he have emotions toward her?

    The writer mentioned an age gap. Do you really think that all the people in this kind of relationship flaunt it? I am sure they don’t. I know of a younger man who has a girlfriend who is 33 years older than he is and he would do anything to please her and he tells people that she is a very good friend but that is not the case behind closed doors. Why? Because of all the criticism and condemnation they would have to deal with. And the thing about this couple is she has no money. So why don’t we let them be free – younger men and older women regardless of the age gap. It reminds me of how gay people have to pretend to the world that they are straight when they are not.

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