Macho Bravado Versus Being a Real Man
Are you a real man, or are you just macho? Are you true to yourself? Do you embrace your entire being, or do you ridicule any guy that steps out of your comfort zone? Here’s a philosopher’s take on why some men frown on others who are in touch with their emotions, addressed to those men who believe that they have no need for a heart.
Two Kinds of Macho
Insecurity—it’s the male psyche’s worst enemy. It’s where lack of confidence, shyness, and over-caution are bred. Did you know it’s also where most machismo comes from?
There are two kinds of macho. First there is proper pride; knowing exactly who you are and where you are in life and being proud of it without bragging. Then there is improper pride; false pride for the sake of covering an insecurity, or exaggeration for other underhanded purposes. The first here is good, because it is genuine, honest, and accepting the entire self as it is and realizing its worth. The second is bad, because it is false, it doesn’t approach propriety or authenticity, and is, in a sense, hypocritical.
The Reason
The greatest percentage of macho men, or women, that I’ve ever seen that act macho do so out of insecurity. The greatest percentage of those only did so because their insecurity was sexually based. It’s no surprise. In this age of instant gratification, it’s hard for a teenager to develop a proper respect for their sexuality. And, with peer pressure having evolved into the beast that it is, no teen can be ‘cool’ without bending to some inappropriate social behaviors, like alienation, fornication, sexism, and false bravery. Really, all social ‘clicks’ should be disbanded in favor of diversity. But that’s another issue altogether.
In hindsight, then, it’s the lessons learned (good or bad) in childhood and adolescence that provide the interactive social behaviors that cause machismo to be taken to levels that are unacceptable. Most of the time, that can’t be helped, because let’s face it, most parents don’t care anymore. And with most babies these days being born to unwed teenagers, the lack of concern is only growing. The economy is not the only thing in decline.
False Pride Is Wrong
However, it doesn’t have to end there. People can and do change. It takes patience and time, and once in a while a wake-up-call, but changing social behavior for the better is possible. But first, people have to realize that segregation caused by insecurity is wrong. Calling a man gay because he cries at a sad movie is wrong. Turning your back on a friend because s/he confessed his/her feelings to you is wrong. Calling another person a dork because he plays the piano or doesn’t have expensive clothing is wrong. And in this circumstance called machismo, pretending to be someone you’re not is wrong. Pulling off stunts like calling people out and running them down might be macho to some, but a real man has no need to do these things to know he’s on the right path. A real man knows that he doesn’t have to cross the line from social propriety to bigotry to get across what he believes is right and wrong.
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Post CommentCutestPrincess
On January 15, 2009 at 3:13 am
A real man makes decisions and lives with the consequences. A real man accepts responsibility for his actions and his words. great post!
Mythili Kannan
On January 15, 2009 at 3:47 am
A thought provoking article. Nice.
Glynis Smy
On January 15, 2009 at 3:52 am
Good read and I think your last sentence sums it up for me.
James DeVere
On January 15, 2009 at 4:04 am
Macho women? I suppose they are insecure as well. Calling a man gay because he cries in the movies…makes me cry a little as well.
Thanks for the thoughts – I have met an incredible arrangement of people – I just go by how people behave; which you correctly pointed out. I suppose it boils down to how you yourself would like to be treated. Thought provoking as I haven’t thought about stuff like this for a while. Thanks . j
Mr Ghaz
On January 15, 2009 at 4:21 am
Good work. I totally agree with you! Well done! Thanks for sharing
Christine Ramsay
On January 15, 2009 at 5:42 am
A very good article. It really makes you think. I wish some of the more insecure macho men and women could read it. It might change their attitudes.
Christine
Morgana
On January 15, 2009 at 9:19 am
I know men who cry at movies , who cry when they hurt . Same men could kick anybody’s butt(those who deserve it) from one towns end to another. You don’t need to be macho to be a man.Excellent article, Agree with every point made.
nutuba
On January 15, 2009 at 7:30 pm
Great article! Nicely done.
S A JOHNSON
On January 15, 2009 at 8:22 pm
This is a great article, I am a girl and really I know how it is…I was 20 when I finally admitted that pink is one of my favorite colors and I’m still working on letting myself really enjoy things such as romance-comedies around people such as my family and friends. I was never teased nor really a tomboy but it would still make feel dumb to like “girly” things. Again great article!
Eunice Tan
On January 15, 2009 at 10:24 pm
Such interesting article about man
Inna Tysoe
On January 16, 2009 at 1:24 am
Interesting article. And you make good points. But I know many men who are not this way and women who are.
Inna
Maria Blazz
On January 16, 2009 at 11:18 am
Good article. I hate the prototype of the “macho” and unfortunately it’s deeply embeded in the Latin American culture where I am come from.
eddiego65
On January 17, 2009 at 9:49 pm
Great work. I agree with you! Everything seems to hinge on the golden rule and being responsible for one’s own actions
Majic
On January 18, 2009 at 6:56 pm
Very well said, sir! People tell me I am not the romantic or expressive type based on how I look like. Honestly, their judgements make me feel less of a man. I don’t feel macho with my athletic figure when people think less of me in terms of my emotional capacity.
C Jordan
On January 19, 2009 at 7:45 am
Good article Adam
ShaFar
On January 21, 2009 at 8:04 pm
This was very interesting. A great article for anyone who reads it.
Gus
On March 11, 2009 at 4:05 am
A completely logical and well articulated article.
hiho
On June 19, 2009 at 10:46 am
I really like this article. You hit the nail right on the head when you said improper pride is false pride for the sake of covering up an insecurity..I had experienced this with one male in the Triond forum..he’s always suspicious and comes across as being superior and more experienced. He probably is in his own mind but when he discredits me and everything I say..I just want to punch him in the face!
Rifle
On July 26, 2009 at 9:18 am
I really agree with what you’re saying. There’s this guy I know at the pizza place in town. He thinks he’s macho but he hardly owns any guns.
Adam Henry Sears
On July 26, 2009 at 5:04 pm
To Rifle:
Perhaps this pizza dude acts tough, but you can tell he really isn’t? It’s okay to recognize this kind of behavior, but to think you’re coooler than him because of it, that puts you in the same category.
Also,… since when did guns have anything to do proper pride? Don’t take this the wrong way, owning and using a gun is up to the individual and how he/she feels about the general public having access to powerful weapons, but, guns are just another way of adding to your pride, and if you must add to your pride to feel secure in yourself, then your pride is imbalanced. I’m not saying that a person shouldn’t want to be able to defend him/herself, I’m saying that a person with proper pride doesn’t need one to feel secure. I’m also not saying that everyone who owns a gun has an imbalanced pride, merely that owning a powerful weapon and thinking that you’re better than someone else because of it is a false sense of security. To sum up what I mean: having a gun is not representative of proper pride. The fact that you threw this out only shows me that possibility with you.
After all, One of my last statements was:
“Being macho because you feel someone else is not cool—that is not cool. Being cool has nothing to do with what anyone thinks, but it does have to do with how you feel about yourself.” There is a thin line between proper pride and arrogance; watch yourself that you’re not stepping over that line.
R K Vajpeyi
On May 30, 2011 at 11:04 am
That is a wonderful article full of great ideas. Thanks Adams.
I have always admired your writings and just do not know how I had missed this one all these days.