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Tell Men How You Feel When You are Hurt, Disappointed and Upset

Women like to beat around the bush when it comes to our feelings. we are afraid that if we tell a guy exactly how we feel, it will push him away. But when we pretend we push ourselves away. Why simmer with resentment when you can always speak the truth?

                                 Do not pretend everything is ok because it may help how you are perceived where relationships are concerned. Do you know what happens to women who pretend everything is alright yet secretly yearn for more in a relationship? They become bitter old woman with numerous itches to scratch.  They become resentful in their relationships because they are constantly giving more than their fair share. Their resentment often sucks the life out of them and they become angry, acrimonious, indignant specters of their former selves.  Do not let that happen to you. Verbalizing emotions is essential for healthy psycho-emotional development.

                     You are entitled to your feelings and have the right to be honest about your position on a person, subject or situation.     Silence is a dangerous communication tool; use it wisely because you do not want to give the impression that silence means consent.

         Additionally you do not need someone who will invalidate your feelings. Men have a difficult time recognizing the feelings of females. Men think that confluence means that a female keep her insecurities, problems and concerns to herself. Validating a person’s feelings does not mean that you agree with what they are saying but it defines being caring, attuned and respectful of the feelings of that individual.

                               Situation: The other night a male promised to take me out. I remembered specifically asking him more than thrice if he was sure he would be able to make it because I understood how men think and that they will blatantly lie and make promises they know they won’t keep.  Therefore I asked my man three times, if he will be available that day because I know how men are and I was giving him an opportunity to be honest with me. He did not show up for our date nor did he see it fit to call me and let me know he will not be materializing anytime soon.

                      Some women would have let it slide but I called him and demanded to know whether or not he will be there. His response was that, he would not be able to make it.  I asked him when he made that discovery, at what time did he realize he would be unable to make it and when was he thinking of apprising me? “More likely than not I would have had to figure it out!”

                                                     Additionally I wanted to know why I had to call him to find out and if he thought his time was more valuable than mine because he is a doctor. I was disappointed and I verbalized my feelings. I was not going to play it cool to his face. I will not be a hypocrite then simmer with resentment when I am alone. I will not let him escape justification for his action and then I become a bitter woman, festering behind his back

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User Comments
  1. LoveDoctor

    On June 10, 2010 at 5:10 pm

    I think that you handled the situation very well. I believe that like most men he probably felt controlled at some point or didn’t want to be interrogated. Since he is a doctor, he probably has a big ego already and is not used to the type of confident woman that you portray. I don’t blame you for what you did. I like to know too and you deserve an explanation rather than just waiting around for a man. Maybe he thought you were too high- maintenance. But you did the right thing. If he is worth it, he will come around, So far, he already showed his true colors.

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