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The “Womanizer” Complex

Energetic and spiritual explanation behind womanizing behaviors.

Can you perceive the energetic vibration beyond the glamorous aspect of the male womanizer in our society?

Among the women collectors’ symptoms are no-satisfaction in a single relationship, jealousy, limited potential for commitment, neediness, light or severe behavioral anger toward rejection, people-pleasing behavioral pattern, strong sexual drives, high political interests, developed communication abilities, obsessive critical behavior.

And these, my friend, are the objective manifestations of only one vibration: The vibration of the feeling of lack of power.

Ultimately, a lack of power is not possible for this is our very nature. Our divine energy is pure power. No lesser, no greater, just wholesome power. There is no possibility to not be powerful. However, there is a possibility to not feel this power.

The subtle boundary between these two concepts is called Fear and Low Level of Consciousness. The actual Truth is that in order for such a character to exist, he must create a balance between his inner-feelings and his reality. His emotional survival instinct will provide him with the perfect situation to counter-balance this extreme powerless inner-emotion. This situation is a need to attract multiple relationships that don’t vibrate with true caring and loving connection but more so vibrate with material belongings and outer energetic fuel. The sensation of fulfillment rises for a little time and because of its illusory nature, does not last.

Unless this illusory wall is removed to let the Truth out, the energetic vibration remains and the pattern continues. Not only that, the subject must face this Truth but also he has to admit it. This often brings another element: pride.

In numerous societies, the womanizer is portrayed as a glamorous successful individual. This is the first hard step to take. Allowing the physical self to admit the belief in such a weakness.

The universal Matrix created and exposed in the book “Beyond Fitness” gives a direction and a path to follow to help deprogram such patterns.

Change can occur if awareness, flexibility of mind, responsibility, accountability and love are simultaneously experienced and integrated.

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User Comments
  1. Dixie

    On February 20, 2008 at 7:55 am

    What about a 77 year old man who has been a womanizer all his life with 6 marriages on his life’s record, all he says were marriages HE chose to leave. Yet for 15 years he always finds a path that leads back to me. Finally I have stopped the grand rationalization that we shared something that none of the others did and ended it. He is like the little boy who is scolded, picks up his marbles and runs home. Then when he sees pouting doesn’t resolve things he comes back; however, he never apologizes, he picks up as if nothing ever happened. He claims “I am sorry” is not in his vocabulary. I am the fool here for having loved him so much that it was indeed unconditional.

  2. J

    On May 17, 2008 at 2:33 pm

    Dixie. . . . I feel like i will be this man when i am that old. I am seventeen now. And i realized today i am a womanizer. I Don’t like relationships, I have so much pride, I charm woman/ girls also to the point of driving them crazy. Many fall in love with me for reasons i can never seem to point out. And I always say “sorry is not in my vocabulary.” I never apologize when i clearly should. I never take that blame so i don’t feel guilty either.
    Now i never post things up on the internet cuz i think it is stupid. but i am really really crazy about one girl right now. And after hearing your little story, i never want my special girl to be in the situation you in with this man. . . .So from hearing your story i will try to never be a womanizer, I think i am finally growing up cuz sex doesn’t matter to me anymore. It hasn’t for a while. and i realized that one woman is all i need i my life. Not the many i had before.

  3. ASorryman

    On August 23, 2008 at 11:31 pm

    I’m 34 and I am a womanizer. I have been with about 30 women in my life. All through my twenties it seemed justified and a tremendous kick. While most of my friends and peers had girlfriends, I was always thinking I was ahead because I was getting laid more then they were. This, my friends, is a one way ticket to ultimate loneliness. I have also found that 95% of the woman I was with are also lonely people. Womanizers attract low self-esteem woman. I finally discovered that I do not want this life anymore when I ran into a pathetic 43 year old still trying to get another lay. He was slimy, angry, and just a terrible person. I thought, that is going to be me, that IS me and it was sad, very sad. I have reevaluated my life and have analyzed my relationships with my parents. My mother is a depressed alchoholic and my father had an alchohol problem while I was growing up. I left the house and I never came back. I am obviously trying to fill some void, but luckily i have now seen the light! I keep thinking how great it would be to be best friends with a wonderful, talented, articulate, educated woman. I usually scare these people away. For you womanizers out there, first, admit it to yourself, then change, then become a contributing wonderful human being!

  4. Vanessa

    On October 15, 2008 at 6:48 pm

    Womanizers ARE trying to fill a void and eventually it gets old. The excitement fades and the loneliness begins to set in. To go out of your way to manipulate another person into giving you what you want is sad and reflects low self-esteem and a poor value system. Good to hear some of you men out there WANT to change! Good job! :-)

  5. Jester

    On November 11, 2008 at 1:00 am

    All these comments and labels ‘Womanizer’
    it amazes me that so many woman seem to have to label and find an excuse as why the ‘Womanizer’ couldn’t or wouldn’t commit. Could it be simply that he didn’t want to commit WITH YOU??.
    Is that at all a possibility?

    I had an arrangement with another ‘Adult’ who agreed whole heartily that she was fine with our arrangement, physical ONLY.
    We even agreed on a word to signify moving on should that day come for either one of us, again she agreed and was fine with it. For the time we spent together we were “Committed” and it was great.

    Then the inevitable happened and I developed feelings for another, had I been the soulless, heartless, womanizer I would have just left without explanation, I did not, I full-filled my end of our agreement and told her of my feelings and why I couldn’t continue with our arrangement, I didn’t go for ONE LAST HURRAH, I believe that I did the right thing, I never promised anything, lead her on, or lied to her, I never forced anything from her or took advantage or her. She had created a ‘Imaginary’ world to suit her needs, I told her many times of my true intentions. When I decided to end it That’s when she decided to call me a Coward and a Womanizer.

    Men, don’t be so quick to be self-loathing or analytical,
    Always, always treat the women in your life with respect and honor.
    Always, always tell the truth and state your intentions, if they decide to go along with you, then enjoy ALL of it, no guilt, no regrets, if you lie and deceive just to get laid, then YES you are a ‘Womanizer’ and a disgrace to ALL men.

    Ladies, ‘Toughen-Up’ accept your part in the bargin, and enjoy it also


  6. Crystal

    On November 11, 2008 at 12:21 pm

    What is imaginary when two people spend 1-2hrs together , then 4-5hrs then 10 -12 hours at time together, talking about life, things they’d like to do, treating one another special and honoring each other just as they are. Was it imagination to spend suddenly spend two weeks without this person’s communication or affections?
    Unless confronted by one interactions behind closed doors raising guilt within, this would of continued to allow this other party imagining the commitment continued and that there was something he had to work through. When and how did the feelings for another start? What triggered that persons emotions to move from one to another, a void?, an event? some misunderstanding over something that happened while drunk? What happened to forgiveness and the explanation when cooler heads prevailed?
    When the partner learns of the other moving on, loss is experienced and what that person normally values for loving and peaceful face to face connection is denied, forfeiting the type of communication that isn’t necessarily the ‘hurt’ person’s beliefs or thinking come up to retaliate or win this person’s affections back, a normal animal reaction to loss, a grieving process like any other. After the dust (raw emotions) settles, what’s left is one person left with a void trying to figure out what happened in those two weeks when just the ‘night’ before there was the same attraction for two people who see beyond the physical. To say that is was an imagination of one person is to take the reality of that relationship and throw it in the “the waste of time garbage can”.
    Writing what your feelings down and paging to a person’s email at 3:30 in the morning on a cell phone is a cowardly way to tell anyone anything. Putting two weeks of time between being physical with one then communicating about it later with another does not make what happened ‘better’ and ‘washed’. Maybe not a womanizer, but certainly not up front about the telling the person you’d spend a whole weekend together, just two weeks ago. No needs suited, something special began and was killed off, for no apparent reason. AND it HURT! No toughening up required. The iron weight of silence for two weeks communicated who you were perfectly. Thanks for the workout.

  7. Jessy

    On December 11, 2008 at 10:18 am

    I have been in love with a “womanizing musician” obsessed with young woman, he is a 34 year old man that prides himself that he can sleep with girls under 21 because thats the age that comes to his show, the younger the better as long as he doesn’t get caught. thats the darkest secret of it all. Why do I love him? Low Self esteem? I have been through years of therapy, I feel like I am more aware and emotionally stable than the average woman. I have a positive outlook on life and I truly have a deep affinity for people. I have been trying to leave this relationship for 5 years now. I keep getting pulled in. The our emotional and sexual aspect seems to be the big pull, I still haven’t been able to break.

    Now I wonder, seriously, if we as human beings aren’t perfect, can a man ever truly be faithful? I am probably asking the wrong crowd, I am trying to seek the truth from all angles. I just want to make Peace with truth and reality.

  8. MJ

    On December 30, 2008 at 2:04 am

    I just lost my womanizing husband on 12/4. He was 77, me 48. He manipulated me, tried to alienate my children, and told his family lies about me to make me seem the bad spouse. I am still running into people who tell me how he was hot after other women even when we were newly in love. It amazes me how he could lie to me & to himself. I am shocked that a man that age could still play me. Quite frankly, I have lost all confidence in men. He even lied on his deathbed saying he had never been unfaithful to me from the moment he layed eyes on me. Lie! Now he must face God where all lies will be exposed.

  9. Vera

    On January 6, 2009 at 2:45 pm

    Yes, I too was with a womanizing musician for 5 years. The term womanizer means (to me anyway) that the guy is skilled at telling a woman what she wants to hear. Yes, womanizers prey on lonely women and those with low self esteem. My boyfriend liked the thrill of the secret “special friendships” he had on the side. He didn’t always get the blow job but he got the attention. By the way, he’s 54. They rarely change. It’s a character flaw. They are usually cheaters in other areas of their lives as well.

  10. Vera

    On February 4, 2009 at 1:10 am

    Here’s another good article on womanizers:

  11. Isabella

    On February 23, 2009 at 9:56 pm

    I was sad and confused and my husband had just cheated on me. I went to the one man that I trusted, someone that I have always looked up to (my boss) for help. In the process of “helping” me to figure out what was going on in my life he started to prey on my weakness. I had known him for 10 years and he had always wanted me. I didn’t realize he was a “womanizer” until the affair ended and i found out about all the other affairs he had had. I am sad and disappointed in him and in myself for believing such lies right after my husband had lied to me. I should have been more aware of what was going on but i was blinded by his words, by his kindness in helping me through my very difficult time. I confronted him today about his other girlfriends and told him that it makes me sick. He says the last person he ever wanted to hurt is me. I don’t believe him anymore. I don’t trust him anymore. He is a womanizer.

  12. anne

    On March 3, 2009 at 10:07 am

    I had just paid for a pre retirement holiday for us and was lookig forward to our semi retirement together, when I found out he was having an affair. He had not expected me to find out and he has now gone to live with her in the same village. I am devastated. All my plans and financial security gone after years of hard work and dreams f spendng time together. He didi it eight yeas ago and I took him back. I have been off work for 3 months in shock.. He has done this throughout his life and can lie abot anything . He is not even interested in his children and family.

  13. helga

    On March 7, 2009 at 8:14 pm

    I need to know something. Ok, im pretty gullible and naive when it comes to men and tend to fall madly in love very easily esp with very charming men. I went out with a guy a few times and he was quite full on very soon. He was more interested in sex than relationship. Ok, he told me that there was no spark in the bedroom and that was it. He’s now with another woman and they together most of the time and having sex. If he’s a player like he admits to why is he with this woman all of the time. Should he not be getting bored with her and moving on to somebody else by now. Could he have perhaps changed or is he with her because the chemistry is great? These guys like to hurt woman. Ive struggled with my self esteem most of my life and met this guy when I was just picking myself up from a difficult time. The last thing I needed was more rejection. He never even complimented me on my looks said I was pretty or anything. He treated me like I was dirt. Ive now allowed this guy to put me back into depression again, he doesn’t care about me, so I wonder if they care about anybody except for their own selfish pleasure.

  14. Pooh

    On March 8, 2009 at 7:07 pm

    Men (womanizers) seem to prey on women who they “like to tame”,(independentness) pretty women, possibly low-self esteem women, women who have an ‘aura’ about them for one reason or other. I have not gone the gammit with my womanizer male acquaintance as he is a doctor (my cancer doc!). I am dependent on him for care, the final outcome is good prognosis. He (I know) thinks I am pretty. I am pretty and can’t help it. It sometimes is a curse as I am finding out. This is not the first person in a position of power who has tried to succumb me. It is tittalating, exciting, etc. He pays more attention than he should w/ office visits, etc. I am business-all-the-way for the most part. Sometimes you have to give just a tiny to make them wonder if there ‘really’ is anything going on or if there ever was. Needless-to-say, I am bothered by it. I do like him a lot but would not ruin his family. Has has two children (small) and a BEAUTIFUL wife-to-boot. Everyone has low-self-estemm to a point but a doctor (with profound knowledge) should not be in such a suffering state as to not get the help he would need to quit this kind of shehnanegan’s stuff.

  15. pooh

    On March 8, 2009 at 7:16 pm

    further, it had gotten to the point where he did (slyly) touch my hand in his office. I took his hand and put it on his desk and siad “look, no touch”. Well, the dynamic has changed now. It was *rejection* for him unfortunately. He pulled a whoe office visit on the phone with some other woman (fine by me). I sat there like thre was no issue but kind of hurt after as he always gives me attention, every woman loves it. Well am over it now. He made me wait in the waiting room for an hour before he would treat me on the IV for the chemical I need to keep cancer under control. I waited. He could not ‘not’ treat me. If it takes my suffering to get treatments, so b it. A am at least getting th treatments. I know he will always see me. I dn’t think he has the self-esteem NOT to. He came after me. I did not go after him. He hit on me in the hospital once he found out I even had cancer after I had things removed from my body. He was there after with eyes ‘gazing-locked’ to mine. It was like he was in love for the first time in his life. It was surreal/differnt/titallating/different. NOw the tide is turned and I have rejected him. The remainder remains to be played out. I was seeing him every couple weeks, am bettr now, went to one month, now after this rejection he has put me to once/3 months for the injection which is protocol anyhow but am glad I don’t have to go there for three months time now. It will be interesting next time. They love to keep their quests in ‘grips’ of sorts or ‘guessing’ as that’s the taste of their excitement as I see it.

  16. jane

    On March 11, 2009 at 6:10 pm

    I know a womanizer, he has this magnetic power about him that women love but he’s really not that good looking!! What is it about these guys, I wish I was the female equivalent.

  17. dipwhit

    On March 11, 2009 at 8:07 pm

    Yeah unfortunately I was victim to my landlord! Came at a very vunerable time of my life. At first I was not interested in the guy, he wasn’t my type. I was out of a job at the time and spending more time in the flat so he was there too so I guess you could say we were in each others faces a lot. He gave me this poor me story, “ive got no girlfriend”, “im lonely” same story all the time. He was trying to play on my soft side, and it worked. He told me he was looking for a steady gf. We spent one night together that was it, no more! He had another girl in his bed a few days later. He also lived in the same house which made the situation excrutiatingly awkward. I really thought he was a mature guy and would respect me but no. For a couple of weeks he had a string of different women in his room. Then he started getting steady with one woman who has been there for quite a while now suprisingly! Its almost as if he craves attention from people and wants people to know that he can pull numerous women. Even after we spent the night together his mate suggested that I leave and find another place. I was not in the situation to do this at the time as I had no job and had already moved in. It was so selfish and inconsiderate of this guy. He would wake me up at night when I heard him going into the shower with a woman and I would hear him talking outside my door. He was telling her that I had waited for 5 months on him.
    He’s definitely on some kind of a power trip and almost made out that he was doing me some sort of favour!! I really detest this arsehole and feel sorry for the poor woman he’s with right now as he’s wasting her time messing about with emotions etc.

  18. Nina

    On March 17, 2009 at 11:21 pm

    I had been in the swinging lifestyle. With my husband,we were enjoying it. It helped our sex life some.. Until I met a man in the lifestyle, who is a womanizer. He saw we had, been having some marital problems. We had known him since we got into the lifestyle. He came on to me trying to instant message me on yahoo.. He was charming handsome and very nice to me. He listened to me, thought he was going to be a friend. NOT.. We started seeing each other. I fell in love with him. He treated me so bad.. Lied to me all the time. Told me he didnt love his wife. Had several woman in and out of the lifestyle. He kept trying to get me to get another female for a 3some..WOW I almost did everything he wanted to do.. When I reached a point, and said NO MORE!!! Was tired of him presuring me and hurting me, and of going to bed crying myself to sleep, he almost broke up my marriage.. Thank God I have a great husband.. By the way, he still wants to kick his Butt!! lol………

  19. angel

    On April 9, 2009 at 8:23 pm

    well stupid me — got taken in after he chased me for a good year …knowing his history – i had to be crazy! It was the way he looked at me — i felt like he really cared (that I was different but somewhere in the back of my head and heart I knew he would hurt me just like all the others)…both of us being married and me dispising womanizers …i hated myself for being so attracted and falling for him … after 4 years of playing the game (no sex (intercourse) only phone)– relationship is over —recently ended ..realized i have issues in my marraige and i lost my self esteem …i guess life is a journey and we can take our experiences and learn from them .. i pray for the hurt to go away …i never wanted to leave my husband nor him hurt his family but i still cant stop thinking about him and miss him everyday …although i think he misses me too – he will just move on to the next ….he loves the chase …women –stay away from them !! His father was the exact same way — ended up leaving his mother for a woman 1/2 his age BUT they are actually still together !! its definitely a power trip for these guys — my guy kept saying he was trying to be good but in the meantime leading me on ..oh well — his loss now cause i think i am pretty special and shame on me –i have to get over the whole thing!!!!!!!!

  20. Christa

    On April 11, 2009 at 7:47 am

    Wow, what an eye-opener it is to read these comments! It’s too bad we don’t start looking for answers until after the fact, eh? I just ended an 8-month relationship that felt insane from Day One. I was (and after less than a week am now back to being) a strong, spiritual person. When we met, though, I was just vulnerable enough fall prey to his manipulation. What sucked me in was all of the uncanny similarities in our life, which I took as a sign from God. (Yes, I know. I now feel like a total idiot.) He had the same name as my dead brother (an unusual name); we were both writers and runners; and numerous other parallels. It took five months before my guard was down enough to sleep with him. I felt worthless from beginning to end. (He’s married.) As the relationship began to unravel, I became weaker instead of stronger; he’d sucked so much out of my spirit. I left with a kill shot to his ego – “what a shallow, stupid person you are. good luck learning to be human.” – but I doubt it’ll have a lasting impact on him. These guys never change.

    What tragic, pathetic people they are, these womanizers. Repeat cheaters who value and chase the sensual instead of the spiritual. They make sane women crazy, and drag the low to sub-basement levels of hell. It’s not just tragic; it’s criminal. At my lowest point I started to feel suicidal. Not because of him, but because of that feeling of abandonment, hopelessness, and worthlessness that they leave you with when it’s falling apart.

    My revenge? Well, he’s written a book and is in the process of editing and preparing for publication. I was the so-called inspiration (which further pisses me off…as if he hadn’t taken enough from me…on the other hand, the book is a lot of poetic shallow drivel with no real plot). But I’m a writer, too. Our affair is all on paper. A few name changes and some editing and I think we’ve got a very compelling story here. Stay tuned…

    Best of luck recovering, ladies. And to all you womanizers out there — Get some help!

  21. constance

    On April 11, 2009 at 4:22 pm

    How do women get revenge on these men? I really need to know..

  22. teran

    On April 12, 2009 at 6:11 am

    Constance, I think your first priority should be taking care of yourself.

    The first days and weeks you alternate back and forth between anger and sadness, right? But during that time you’re examining things to the point of distraction. You’re not thinking clearly yet, so wait until you are before you get revenge.

    One way to move on is to get therapy to understand why we’re vulnerable to men like that. Once you understand, you rebuild your personal strength, think more clearly.

    Remember that if the relationship between you and he had happened more slowly, you would have had time to think things through and recognize the dangers. You didn’t. So don’t make the same mistake now that you’re out of it. Heal yourself, think things through now. Put the “revenge” question on hold until you’re better inside your soul.

    Bottom line: You get revenge by doing well for yourself, your OWN STRENGTH for yourself and by yourself. Do that first.

  23. pooh

    On May 11, 2009 at 8:39 pm

    I have to go back to my ‘cancer doc’ in a couple weeks. He’s the one (read above) who came on to me once I was ‘cured’… Now I have thought of changing doc’s however, he is part of a GROUP in the same practice. I don’t know who he knows/who knows him and how well. People/friends/hubby say stay w/ him and know the devil you are dealing with is better than switching and not knowing who he knows within. I can’t travel to another hospital. The care is not closer by me that I get. What do I do? I turn sick in my stomach at the thought of having to get in there in another visit with him for FEAR of the next LEVEL he tires to forge on to with me. I NEED MY TREATMENTS !! What do I do. People tell me just keep ‘professional’. He walks in all ‘unprofessional’. It’s soooo hard. He’s sooo good at womanizing. I bought books on ”THE GAME”. I’m reading all the time what these creeps do to woman. Tell everyone you know to read *The Stylelife Challenge* – Master the Game in 30 days. Let me tel you the mind-tricks in this book that they use on woman are phenominal, unbelievable and so cunning you would not believe it. Maybe you would …. a book worth EVERY last cent. It is meant to be read by men but it will ‘certainly’ tell women what the score is and HOW men use and manipulate women to their advantage. A well worth read …. good luck. Any suggestions anyone on what I can do about this doctor?

  24. dipwhit

    On May 18, 2009 at 2:13 am

    Pooh darling? Are you crazy?
    You have been a cancer sufferer and you are now entertaining a doctor who is abusing your trust. Steer clear of this MAN. Report him if you must, his actions are criminal. You know that cancer is brought on my negative emotion and stress! Surround yourself with people who are positive and who make you feel good. Only allow people into your life who are good for you. I know this is difficult because some of us have been so abused we don’t know any better. Take my advice from a wise, experienced woman. Have a good long look at yourself in the mirror, a full length mirror and observe what you see. Is it good or bad, happy or sad? What ever you see thats what you should focus on. Find a good doctor that makes your feel beautiful not one who plays with your mind. When you find beauty in yourself you will wont need to obsess with crazy men who are damaging your life. This doctor is sick and is projecting his illness onto you.

  25. Pooh

    On May 18, 2009 at 10:57 pm

    Sorry but, like I said I would LOVE another doc. However, the reason I do not CHANGE is because the nice docs are ALSO in HIS GROUP PRACTICE and this is the ONLY hospital within reach for US TO GET TO. I only have to put up with another year and half of treatments and then I am mostly free from him anyway. If I go to another doc within the group, he still has influence and my hubby says it’s better to keep the evil I KNOW. Now what do you think? I don’t know what the H _ _ _ to do! I don’t know who he knows WITHIN good or not his group. I am also afraid that the doctor that I would like is filled up anyhow because the practice there is SOOOOO horribly filled up each and every time I go there. If he EVER finds out that I would like to switch and there is no room for me to do so, it might even be a whole lot worse for me to switch out. Do you know it’s very difficult. I only meet with him for about 15 mins and hook up to the once/3 month treatment. I only see him once/3 months.

  26. Pooh

    On May 18, 2009 at 11:05 pm

    Thank you *dipwhit* for writing to me all-the-same. How old are you may I ask please?

  27. dipwhit

    On May 19, 2009 at 6:13 pm

    Are you tall with short dark hair by any chance? Im a fortune teller in my spare time and think that I can visualize you. This doctor sounds like a real sneering, low-down, childish, smart arsed bully.
    He’ll get his comeuppance, they always do!

  28. Britanny

    On May 19, 2009 at 7:13 pm

    I have a story to tell about a really sad man. He has absolutely no life and well he used to breath down my neck 24/7. When I go on the internet he knows what websites I go into and in the evening time he goes into the websites and knows what I am up to.

    Like once I was having some fun with my girlfriends and we went on to this really rude website and I posted this really crazy story up on the forum just cos I knew he was checking my every move. Its soooo fuuuunnny cos he thinks that the sun shines out of his ass, but I know he’s a BRAINLESS IDIOT who gets off on other peoples weaknesses. He is also really unattractive and very overweight, with a tiny d—. He is also a bit of a cradle snatcher, the only reason he cant find a woman of his age is because nobody would want him and his present girlfriend is using him until she gets herself established.

  29. pooh

    On May 23, 2009 at 1:15 am

    I am not tall but you have the color hair correct. AND yes you are also correct about the sneering part especially. He makes this little lau;gh when he thinks he has me or whatever his thinking is and all the things you say are right. I see him again on June 1 to be hooked up again to my chemical. I can hardly wait, errrr … Thank you for chatting w/ me. When I have time I get on here to check you out what you have written to me dip. He’s either going to ignore me as leverage to try to sway me yet still or be nice becuase he knows that if he’s not nice too much I might not go for him (which I won’t anyway!). It will be another blood-pressure-raising morning for me. At least one thing is good and that’s I am going away for the summer and won’t have to see him again till Sept. 1. that’s if he doesn’t play a ‘rude’ game on June 1 and play *disappearance* & replace w/ another doc to try to get to me also. Time will tell all. Thanks again for talking w/ me. You’re a good lady. bibi (-:

  30. Britanny

    On May 29, 2009 at 1:41 pm

    So I had to pick up my mail yesterday from my old flat where my lecherous landlord and mate lives. Unfortunately when I saw him I nearly went beserk, like he has some weird effect on me. I started shaking and felt this feeling of overwhelming anger come over me. I let him have it and told him exactly what I thought of him, but he didn’t care. Infact he loves it when I lower myself to that level. Later on I was so angry at myself for losing it. I just thought I never want to see that sneaky bugger again. He is one of these really insecure men who has a habit of putting people down and I seem to have fallen into his trap. He knows that he gets to me big time so he does it even more. This guy has absolutely nothing going for him except for the fact that he is a big fat bully. I am insecure in myself and since I have known this guy and his friend my life has gone in a downward spiral. Its like he is putting his insecurities onto me or people who he feels that he can bully.

  31. pooh

    On June 16, 2009 at 12:17 pm

    Hi Dipwit,
    I sure wish this guy would get his ‘comeuppance’ soon! I had to go agian on June 1. I did and my blood pressure was vry high when I got there. At the end of my ‘chemo treatment’ it was down to 115 over 70 again once I had seen him and it was over. I can only tell you what went on in the visit was *sickening*. I cried in the morning before I went there. My husband had to convince me to go get the treatment. I cried sooo hard. When I was in the visit he found a way to chek me for ‘fluids’. He did not have to go over my whole body. I had had fluid buld up before and it was mostly in my feet/legs. It was a ‘wondrufl excuse’ for him to go over me because I WON’T give in to him!! He also tried to take to me (other things than business). I just directed the convo to him/about him, then back to my medical questions on my issues, etc. Next appointment is August 31st. Gee …. every time the ‘level’ goes up-one more. What next? Hope you are well … Thank you for listening… bibi …

  32. s

    On August 16, 2009 at 3:02 pm

    I am being cheated by my husband several times in our 12 year marriage. I have two kids. Each time I find something he admits and says sorry but carries on which I find later either with the same woman or another. Over the years I have tried to fight it but now I feel I am tired of the endless chase but at the same time I love him to the point that life without him is unimaginable for me. He does not sleep with these women very often but somehow gets into a relationship through phone etc. A couple of days back I found about one of his affairs with another married woman and since they were supposed to have ended their relationship an year ago but carried on behind my back, I tried to walk out on him but after all his begging, have agreed to give him one more chance. I WISH, HOPE AND PRAY he mends his ways or otherwise I will have to walk out (God forbid)

  33. F

    On August 17, 2009 at 5:47 pm

    I am an aspergers sufferer and just want to be loved. I am pretty and now at this stage have enough with men and their silly games. Why do they play on women for their own selfish ego boost. I only know black and white, good and bad. Because of my condition and lack of social skills I cannot defend myself when confronted by difficult men and they destroy me. Maybe men who cheat have a condition or illness too that we don’t know about. Its bullying and manipulation. They must have some degree of sickness to treat women so mean.

  34. ViscountValmont

    On August 30, 2009 at 11:21 am

    Do you people listen to your own stories? The ONE TRUE COMMON DENOMINATOR in almost all of them, is how you’ve encouraged the whole thing. No one is MAKING you return any signs of interest… even if it is “just to test.” You flirt with him, call him, lead him on, or whatever, and then wonder why you get played or put in a bad position when you reject him. Falling in love with someone while married, or being addicted to the attention… It’s like you’re all under this ridiculous spell and come here to bitch about it, blaming and cursing this intangible title of “womanizer.” Yeah, LYING is a terrible way to attain sex. Be angry at that all you like. However, it always takes two to tango. Most of these stories, written in them by your own hands, point yourselves to blame in one way or another. You allow this to happen out of some sort of fantasy you’re dying to live out. Weird, romantic flights of fancy manifest in some sort of wannabe soap opera. You sit and say these men have low self-esteem? Doing some of the things you girls do for attention from guys is down right pathetic and embarassing. Especially those of you who KNOW that the guy is a liar or cheater to begin with. Again, there is nothing wrong with having no commitment, as long as you’re up front about it! And if you knowingly enter into a type of verbal contract that states you understand that, all the while having intentions of furthering it into a relationship, then shame on YOU for being manipulative. If you can’t help yourself and are a slave to the attention and the excitement of these relationships, that is your fault. Not the “womanizer.” Self-esteem isn’t gained through making yourself think you are attractive. It’s value based on INTERNAL traits, not external stimuli. So stop looking for validation from men, and stop having your self-worth pivoting on whether you’re pretty and getting attention. Most of all, STOP feeling sorry for yourselves and make better decisions. It’s not like the female half of the species is known for being noble. You lie and cheat JUST AS OFTEN. So wake up.

  35. H

    On September 3, 2009 at 5:51 pm

    Hi ViscountValmont
    Your so right. I am begining to accept my lost love with the following song
    Im just a hopless romantic at heart who will always fall for men who dont want me.

  36. M

    On November 6, 2009 at 5:34 pm

    NINA, if you ever see this message,could you please
    tell me initials of the womaniser you’ve met, very important!
    Where are you from?

  37. Clare

    On November 25, 2009 at 7:34 pm

    Its no laughing matter. These men are bullies and no woman deserves the abuse and trauma that I went through with one of these men. My only comfort is coming to this site to share my experiences with other women. Im not a great communicator and find it difficult to say how I feel. No woman asks for cruel behaviour from a man. Every woman wants to be loved and respected and it disgusts me to see a woman defend one of these types of men.

  38. Anna

    On January 20, 2010 at 9:03 pm

    So, I met a guy who began very clingy and needy. He told me he was very sensitive and had only been with two women in his life.

    It took him months and many hours of chatting online each and every night for him to persuade me to be his girlfriend.

    As our relationship progressed and I began to fall deeply, more of his ugly misogynistic behaviour came to light.

    I asked him countless times to be honest and tell me if he just wanted sex – he told me he was in love with me and I was his girlfriend.

    He took me on a romantic holiday in the summer and dumped me like a hot rock after. When I became upset, he told me I was “causing drama”.

    When I got home, I found he had been seeing 2 other women seriously (calling them his girlfriends) and countless women casually.

    I am bright and attractive and ambitious.. I have no idea how it happened. I am disgusted with him and myself.

  39. Lance R

    On June 5, 2010 at 4:43 pm

    hey ladies! looking for some passion? Wine, dine, never been so fined? I am a great listener, but better lover. All night, I will give you the tenderness you need, deserve, desire. My touch is gentle yet firm. Call me anytime, Lance R

  40. luvtruth

    On April 28, 2011 at 6:36 pm

    Vera/ Genie Webster, I think this article was written just for you!

  41. luvtruth

    On May 15, 2011 at 5:57 pm

    Nice Vera/Genie Webster you took down the link from your web-site, but you left this

  42. Genie Webster

    On April 20, 2012 at 11:01 am

  43. cool

    On August 13, 2012 at 6:38 am

    I am just reading through this whole massages and i find myself speechless because the man am leaving with is a chronic womanizer and over the years i never realise this. Though i have caught him with several women and each time he finds excuses to defend himself. But the worst is that he plays this game under my noise and pretends as if I don’t have feelings nor a way of excape. The lessons here are clear to me and just like some body said, am aware of the whole game and am going to use him as well until am settled than he will see my true colour.

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