What a Woman Thinks

Why is it so difficult to get a girl in a bar?

It’s about time someone came clean about this one. The universal law known (or thought to be known) to all women is that men in bars are sleazes. Sorry, I don’t make the rules, I only inform you of them.

In this scenario, generally there are four types of men: the over-confident-types, who must “do this sort of thing all the time;” the come-up-and-dance-with-you-on-the-dance-floor-types, who are “the ultimate sleazes;” the under-confident-but-no-less-creepy-types, who are either “really fake” or “have never spoken to a woman before;” and the little-boy-with-back-up, whose “mates ogle at you just as much as he does and make you feel like a porno chick!”

Whilst we know not all men would fall into these categories, we cannot be too careful. Our prudent nature is the result of, or fear of, being screwed over – it happens to everyone at least once.

Fear not, however, as this doesn’t deter the fairer sex from bars – there are times when we go in the hope of getting the exact same thing that you want. It simply means that, with our knowledge of the universal law, we are implored the responsibility to make the first move.

The lesson: NEVER approach her.

You need to let her desires for you intensify. If she looks at you, glance back at her every-so-often, but not for too long. Go to the bar alone and take your time in case she decides to follow. If she’s at the bar, walk right up beside her when you order but don’t talk to her unless she talks to you first. It’s all about being mysterious. If she approaches you, lower your cover a little but don’t drop it completely. Always be yourself but never reveal all of yourself on the first night.

My girlfriend is completely opposed to the idea of a threesome, how can I persuade her to give it a go?

There’s not much use in trying to convince someone who is opposed to threesomes on the grounds of religious beliefs. So if this is the case, quit while you’re ahead.

For many however, the act of a threesome is not worries a woman, it’s the thought that she is not good enough to please you. This is a sensitive issue for some women so you need to tread carefully, even if you just mention the idea.