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Why Black Women Do Not Respect Black Men

Another perpspective asserted that black women are not as domesticated and docile as white women and that black women do not know how to treat their men. One writer states that black women have gargantuan desires, expectations and wishes of their men and when their anticipations are not met, they make their spouses lives miserable.

Why Black Women do not respect Black Men?


If you asked a black man why he decided to be with a Caucasian woman as oppose to a woman of his own ethnicity; these are the likely responses that you will receive.

Black women are bossy, quarrelsome, nagging, disrespectful, ungrateful and conceited…

And the list goes on and on and on…

 But what is the real rationale behind the contempt with which black women regard their men?

It is simply that black men before and during our time have eroded any iota of reverence that women had for them. Some men claim that black women are disrespectful to their men!

Another perspective asserted that black women are not as domesticated and docile as white women and that black women do not know how to treat their men. One writer states that black women have gargantuan desires, expectations and wishes of their men and when their anticipations are not met, they make their  spouses lives miserable.

The denigration of the black man’s image and relevance dates back to the socialization of the black woman. I can remember as a child that my mother told my sisters and i to avoid relationships with black men because such unions would bring irreparable, emotional damage to my life. She asserted that they would impregnate, abuse, ill treat and abandon me.

My mother contended that black men were irresponsible fathers, substandard caregivers, cheap breadwinners (if any at all), lousy husbands and mates.  She contended that they were the worst communicators and lacked the capacity to compromise, reason without violence and to be civil.

Ha ha! Tough luck!

To be frank with you, my mother has been proven right thus far.  I have been with two black men and they were complete disappointments. Some people say that i am associating with the wrong type of black men. But my exes were mature (in its sociological and physiological sense), successful, college graduates and drove Mercedes. They were not ebony black. They had the phenotype of Chris Brown (befitting analogy). They were the creme de la creme of the black population and that their education would have engendered some changes in their thought processes and general behaviors but obviously not. 

It is difficult for any woman to respect black men when most (I said most not all my detractors) are not standing up to their responsibilities. I do not respect or regard a man who does not take care of his family or exhibits conduct that are worthy of emulations by my children.  A man who refuses to take care of his children or even to acknowledge paternity for his offspring should be ostracized.

Conclusively, the reason why women do not respect black men is because they do not respect themselves. They possess little knowledge and understanding of what their roles are within a family. They do not understand that when they conceive a child, that it does not end there and that they should be part of its upbringing and maintenance. Most black men are in part sperm donors and bed room racklers.  They brag about the scores of children that they have dispersed with several women under the misguided notion that such acts  denotes good fatherhood. Black men treat their women like therapy valves made for venting their inadequacies and insecurities in the form of loud arguments and abusive statements.

       Our men have disappointed us. To be honest the only reason why we even cohort with them is because of our primal mammalian need to have sex and our instinctual desire for companionship. 

       We do not have many viable recourse since a good black man is hard to find. Who wants to risked being alone? 

We settle for these substandard behavior and men get the impression that it is OK to behave like that.  The theory has always been simple, silent means consent. When Women do not disavow misdeeds, men perpetrate  those relational faux  in our society. When women embraced those standards,Men believe that they are acceptable.




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  1. Curious Kitty

    On August 28, 2009 at 4:46 pm

    Utilizing some basic grammar would have made the article a far more easy read.

    I certainly see your point, however. To take this a step further, I’ll add that even most black female strippers will not dance for black male customers.

  2. James

    On August 31, 2009 at 4:33 pm

    I’ve made a study of this relationship between black men and women. I agree with what I think was said. (Proofreading anyone?) But I have seen and heard the black male opinion on black women. It is a two way street. A black woman who constantly accuses her beloved of infidelity ultimately gets exactly that. When the wages of good and evil are about the same, why treat her well?

    I am not excusing anyone’s bad behavior, merely pointing out that theres no virgins in this brothel.

  3. anon white girl

    On August 31, 2009 at 9:32 pm

    I have to say not all white women are docile little mice. Alot has to do with the fact that people always want what is different black or white. I also believe that color does not make a relationship succede,or fail. It also does not make a good husband or father it is the person who does all of that. The only consistent thing in all of your failed relationships is you remember that. and before the atacks start i have dated many other races and am currently engaged to my soul mae who happens to be west indian

  4. Aarom

    On September 3, 2009 at 3:57 pm

    It’s a vicious circle. Black men beat and kill the women, black women beat and emasculate the men and both sexes raise their children to be vicious predators. Domination and agression are the core personality traits of blacks.

  5. Der Nonkonformist

    On September 3, 2009 at 6:57 pm

    Aarom, what a racist statement, one may say. Of course, that one may just need to look at statistics and social behavior in predominantly black neighborhoods and one will see how right you are.

    My neighborhood used to be predominantly white and just changed recently when the government decided to move “socially disadvantaged” people in. The only police officer we ever saw was our neighbor, but meanwhile we have many police cars in our neighborhood on a weekly basis; mostly due to black inter-marital problems, because either the husband beat his wife or the wife screamed at the husband like there would be no tomorrow. So far, I am not even mentioning the constant investigations because the children of those relationships show their naturally delinquent behavior by destroying other people’s property or by simply mugging them.

    Incidentally, more apartments and houses in this neighborhood become vacant (white flight), whereas the government puts more of these specimen in the vacant places, which further escalates the situation.

  6. crystal evans

    On September 5, 2009 at 2:53 am

    when i wrote this article i must admit that i never expected it to get the level of reviews it has recieved especially the comments that i have read by others who have copied my article onto other sites such as American Renassaince News and Slate. i am from Jamaica. Therefore my dialect is not grammar english but rather a patois or pidgin.My MOTHER TONGUE IS mixture of english spanish and afrikaana english. For anyone who has heard that Jamaica is an english speaking country, come to Jamaica and listen to the chatter of the natives and see if you can understand a word they are saying! I know that saying that english is not my mother tongue does not excuse the ‘atrocious grammar’ in article. I will ensure that i get my articles proofread the next time. additionally i need to point out that i am not racist. i do not have a problem with men, white or black. it is just that i am sick and tired of seeing black men behave in a manner that Martin Luther King and our Jamaican Marcus Garvey would have denounced.

    I was simple expressing how i felt after growing up in a country where black men are abusive, irresponsible and disrespectful to women. My article was directed more at my experiences and knowledge of Jamaican Black Men.

    The comment that my mother made about marrying a white was just what Jamaican calls ‘Belly full Chat”.

    I never meant to insult anyone!


    On September 5, 2009 at 3:18 am




  8. david

    On September 5, 2009 at 12:23 pm

    i cannot understand why a black women would write something like this. you are right she must be inedeed a child. but i do sympathise with her plight. she has obviously dated some asholes black men. what i do not understand though is why everyone is taking an innocent article written by an adolosecent and turining it into something else. if you have a point write your own article and do not bash others

  9. Rocky

    On September 6, 2009 at 7:28 pm

    Typical hypocrisy. Somehow, her personal subjective view on what made two men she dated “disappointments” somehow proves her mother right. I can give far more personal examples to “prove” right so many negative things said about black women.

    Lets break it down:

    Conclusively, the reason why women do not respect black men is because they do not respect themselves.

    No actually, black women do respect black men, but tend to respect the more thuggish bad boys while overwhelmingly showing little respect to the good guys who are sensitive to them and their own role in the family.

    They possess little knowledge and understanding of what their roles are within a family.

    Actually, they have had their roles ripped from them by over aggressive, mentally masculinized black women who see being women to their men as something demeaning.

    They do not understand that when they conceive a child, that it does not end there and that they should be part of its upbringing and maintenance.

    And what so many black women don’t understand is that the likelihood of a man being a part of his or her children’s lives drops substantially when the man has no relationship with his children’s mother. Research has shown that all things being equal economically, black men are more likely to be in their children’s lives when not with the mothers than white men who are similarly not with the mothers of their children. It’s just that white women are far less likely to allow themselves to be impregnated by men that have made no commitment to them.

    Most black men are in part sperm donors and bed room racklers. They brag about the scores of children that they have dispersed with several women under the misguided notion that such acts denotes good fatherhood. Black men treat their women like therapy valves made for venting their inadequacies and insecurities in the form of loud arguments and abusive statements.

    If that is the case, then most black women are bedroom racklers and sperm receptacles. They are more than willing to have multiple children unwed by multiple men under the misguided notion than such acts denote good motherhood. And the TRUTH is that black women treat their men like “therapy valves made for venting their inadequacies and insecurities in the form of loud arguments and abusive statements”. This is where the black woman/bad attitude stereotype comes in. Black men overwhelmingly try to avoid arguments with black women. Clearly you are simply making things up.

    Our men have disappointed us. To be honest the only reason why we even cohort with them is because of our primal mammalian need to have sex and our instinctual desire for companionship.

    No. The reason you date us is because you like us and the very behavior that you see coming from us is directly the result of you liking such behavior. Our women have disappointed us.

    We do not have many viable recourse since a good black man is hard to find. Who wants to risked being alone?

    Many black men are willing to risk being alone because a good black woman is hard to find.

    We settle for these substandard behavior and men get the impression that it is OK to behave like that.

    No, you show attraction to such substandard behavior which does give the impression that it is OK to behave like that (it’s called thug luv).

    The theory has always been simple, silent means consent. When Women do not disavow misdeeds, men perpetrate those relational faux in our society. When women embraced those standards,Men believe that they are acceptable.

    One of the only true statements you make, but it is more than silent consent, but rather actual attraction to these misdeeds.

  10. crystal

    On September 8, 2009 at 9:36 am

    the truth is simple this black men give women the idea that they are going to committ to them in exchange for sex. the relationship moves into anupward trust realm and the woman (foolishly and naively) assumes that there is some logevity to the relationships. she begins the have sex with the man and she gets pregnant. does that make her a sperm receptacle. i want to know why black men think it is ok for them to always lay the blame for black women having multiple fatherless children at the feet of solely black women. i do understand that our women must have some sort of personal responsibility(since they r the ones who are physically affected by pregnancy) but it takes two persons to make a baby. therefore both parents should be accountable for an unwanted pregnancy.
    additionally i am not attracted to thugs! i do not like thugs. i prefer my black men, intelligent, career oriented and relationally mature.

  11. devon

    On September 11, 2009 at 3:04 pm

    well it happens on both side. black men make their womens life miserable and women do the same thing

  12. jessica smith

    On September 13, 2009 at 8:51 am

    i can honestly say i have my own reasons for disliking black men ,and yes it may be true that not all black men are bad and disrespectful etc. but if i had to think about them on a percentage scale, from what ii seen and from most of the ones iv spoken to in my entire life im going to have to say 7 out of 10! you run into, you probably wont like for some reason.

  13. Charlses

    On September 13, 2009 at 11:28 pm

    Well Jessica, I will say that from what I’ve seen, 9 out of 10 black women your run into, you probably won’t like for some reason.

  14. Lynette

    On September 14, 2009 at 6:44 pm

    Having read the article I find that it saddens me to the point we are entertaining these sentiments. Young Ms. is seemingly addressing stereotypes. Just as every other race (ethnicity) can say one thing or another about the male/ female relationships we have yet another blasting of black on black relationships. The foundation to any relationship is love, trust and honesty- none of which were addressed as characteristics of a good man/woman. In this instant gratification- disposable society what is lasting in a relationship? If you seek merely the superficiality of a relationship that is what you get- a man or woman stripped of their possessions what are you left with? Materialism has replaced quality.

    The common bond that threads us together is tearing us apart and that is simply being black. As long as we subscribe to the stereotypes this will be an issue within our community. Until we stop pointing fingers at each other how can you understand each other without understanding self? There is so much more beneath the surface of questions, comments and answers to black on black relationships we can go on and on. I can say for certain relationships are more than just superficial (color, looks, money and, sex)… You can only get what you give…Respect starts in the mirror…

  15. anonymousmale1

    On September 17, 2009 at 4:06 pm

    I liked your article for several reasons and the main one being it encourages dialog. I know it took some courage to write this article because as a writer myself I often wonder what the fallout will be. If you look beyond the negative responses you will see that this is definately a topic that needs to be addressed and regardless of the responses you captured your audiences attention. For the time they took to read this article they had to look deep inside themselves and the men in the Black community, they might not have liked what they saw but they looked at it through your words. Please keep writing and I will promise to visit often. I hope you do not mind but I would like to include your site in my blogroll. Hopefully some of my African American female readers will discover your talents and topics and be as moved as I was.

    Thank You.

  16. Tshidiso Medupe

    On September 21, 2009 at 2:04 am

    The secret is in openness: When a relationship starts the other party already knows the key reason while the other doesn’t. There could be reasons to that: valid or invalid. The actual birth of this relationship could be wanting to have sex but instead “I love you” is used instead of “Hi, I am sexually attracted to you and would like to have sex with you for a while and not a long term relationship and will be available for you should the similar need arise from side in the near future”. or “Hi, I saw this nice bag in shop x and would like you to buy it for me, I can not promise to pay you back though”. Then pending on the receipient the answer may be “Yes/No enacted politely so in turn. Maybe things would have been much better.

    The other problem is what do we do when we grow out of love? It is easy to tell if you are growing out of love: Love is said to be blind and when you begin to see things that you previously had no problem with know that you are now growing out of love. Do you tell or do you start your own parade of tantrums which will elicit disrespect? Should you take time to investigate what drove you out of love and decide if you can live with it? Or do you rather feel its best you bounce? How about you tell them.

    The other rule states opposites attracts: If in an argument both of you are high then it does not help. If peace is what you want, calm down, grab a glass of water and talk them to your level. Sometimes it helps to apologize for things you did not do for the sake of peace and sometimes your being soft is misinterpreted as being guilty or scared.

    What fills your mind fills your acts, if you engage with someone and you handle them on the basis of what you have been told about them it often comes out in your act they end up being the beast that you were always afraid to see. Start on a clean sheet and put your mind right to build something special with someone. Talk it through as you go along, don’t digest alone in your own corner and come with conclusion it usually elicit the same results. Talk about everything, don’t ridicule your partner in public and when you do it in private try to build them. This is not easy as it tends to be misinterpreted as lack of appreciation. Remove all triggers from your mind i.e. if your partner fails you, don’t react on the basis of what happened in your past life but rather treat this in isolation of your past as it may drive your partner to feel the cracks of your broken heart.

    I wish to go on and on but time is of the essence. Love yourself better and know how to put what you want in words that are less offensive and more welcoming for those who join your to find their path in seeing you through it. But above all know when to say GOODBYE.

    “Le ojwa le sa le metsi.”


    On September 21, 2009 at 4:52 pm


  18. devon smith

    On September 23, 2009 at 2:40 pm

    Typical black femal thinking, it is obvious that the female who wrote this has been brainwashed by the typical matriarchs who themselves were unsucessful in creating, maintaning and desiring a long lasting loving relationship with a black male. So they taught there daughter to engaging in destructuve thinking and acts towards black men. Mercedes, college educated…so that is all what your measuring stick is for a father and husband. No wonder 85% of black women are single, promiscous and miserable. Black females are so backwards in their thinking. Theses females have no understanding of reality in that they think they are perfect therfore they desrve perfection. What should be of utmost importanc eis family structure, values and commitment. These black females have no idea of this. All other races females value commitment, love, respect, rearing kids in families…not black females, there desires and values revolve around cars, shopping, sistahood, and oprah. Black men do yourself a favor, date other races becuase black females are a waist of time!!1

  19. paperbag

    On September 26, 2009 at 12:10 am

    First I would like to say that GOD created man and woman to worship him and not each other. Wether you are Muslim, Christian, Jew, or any faith that you follow. there is a need for one to RESPECT another. You must fear GOD and contain certain emotions, and not allow them to run amuck!! Words are powerful, and by design we interpet life and situations very diffrent. So the root of my concern is where did the respect go?

  20. Lloyd

    On September 29, 2009 at 2:56 pm

    I respect and appreciate the experience and opinion held here… but woman who believe their are no good black men around need to think about it seriously many because black man would say the same thing about black woman,

    AT THE END OF THE DAY like attracts like. the people you put up with in life are normally at the same level of maturity, intelligence or wavelength ect as you ,or they at least reflect the circumstances you develop your relationship under , if you meet at a club , or he was just your booty call , and all you done was to have sex on every encounter.. Don’t expect much.

    Return to old fashions values you cant go wrong – at least get to know him, do more then just have sex build a relationship find common interests and hobbies, experience life together

    too many woman are to quick let it up to man before getting to know them , it sounds bad but woman need to have greater respect for their bodies and take time to develop meaning relationships before in get in to bed with a man. You don’t know.

    We all need to develop at greater love for each other black man and woman should not be at war with each other , as a community we need more personal development to heal the years of damage which was during slavery and the damage which our current ignorance in inflicting on ourselves

  21. Nita

    On September 29, 2009 at 3:43 pm

    To Devon: Typical Black Female? Do you know most Black Females? It’s stereotypes like these that get in the way of having any decent relationships between us. I have been rejected by men like you because of their own ignorance and fear based on negative stereotypes of Black women. Now, after the fact those same men who once rejected me are tryin to crawl back once they realize just how good of a woman I am. All of the hardships, abuse (sexually, mentally, emtionally) I’ve endured has been at the hands of men who are Black. Also, these horrible acts where when I was a minor by adult black men. Still with my past I do not hold those issues against every Black man. How did we start lumping “All black women, All Black men” into one box based on the bad behavior of a few? Most times, when someone treats you badly it’s because they are hurting and don’t know any better. There needs to be a lot of healing in our community.

    Oh and Devon, Just to add…….

    My best Friend is White, and she is the meanest chick in a romantic relationship you would want to meet. She’s controlling, demeaning, demanding, materialistic and is NOT faithful what so ever! And get this…..SHE ONLY DATES BLACK MEN!!! Black men who think like you to be exact. They don’t look at her shady history and decide NOT to date her, it’s okay with them as long as she’s NOT black. We laugh about this all the time as a matter of fact she takes their money and buy things for my son who is her Godson. They’re never in short supply either which is fun for her I guess. She often tells me, “Nita, you need to be a B*TCH!!. You’re one of the best women I know and all these guys will past you up to be with me.” Ahhh yes…..15 years of knowing my best friend since we were little girls. I know her history and why she is that way, but it never fails to amaze me how ridiculous and hateful people can be.

  22. Khw

    On October 2, 2009 at 10:15 am

    This post is horrible and demeaning to the black realtionship. I know PLENTY of good black men who take care of their child(ren) eventhough they are not with the mother. I could easily have the same view as was mentioned, since my boys father do not take care of them, but it is just simply, not true. We base our views on what we have gone through and what we have been taught through friends and/or at home and sometimes we need to open our eyes and see past the negativity instilled in us and pray for a higher understanding of relationships and people (especially US, black people)! We have been made, through society, to look down on the black race, and not support our goals/dreams. This way we would not be allowed to grow as a people. We were taught that we are worthless and do not amount to much eventhough the US was built on the backs of our ancestors. Why keep proving them right with this thinking and start being proud of OUR black men and women… When we change our outlook, we change our life and the lives of others…

    Black love is beautiful!

    Do your research!

  23. marciel

    On October 13, 2009 at 1:05 am

    All I can say is wow!!!!!!!!!!! Are you for real Do you think that black men are the only race of men who screw around make, father illigitamate choldren, and beat there wives? The reality is we are the only ones who air our dirty laundry to all who want to know. OH and dont forget that the same women who are complaining about these no account black keep i say again keep finding there selves on their backs with some new no account black man putting illigitamate baby number four in there womb. Remember that glass house that we all live in and leave the stones where they lie.

  24. TYRESE

    On October 20, 2009 at 10:56 am

    wow KHW…I CAN SEE THAT ur were incensed by the post..why r u denying this reality… we all know that black women outnumber thier dark skin male counterparts in the universities. we all know that black men are almost always absentee father, we all know that the prisons are overrun with black men…we all know that schools with predominantly black populations rarely do well in exams when it comes to amount of passes…those schools tend to be overriden with gangbangers and young ho’s… we all know that black ppl according to MARCIEL hang their irty laundry out to see the… the post was very enlighteening..beleive me it was full time somene adressed this issue.. it definitely brought the racist, negritude and critics and mavericks out in full swing… everyone seems to be defending their backsides. apparently Khw U R THE ONE WHO NEEDS TO DO UR RESEARCH!!!! THE POST DID NOT SAY ALL BLACK MEN WERE BAD..IT SAID WHY BLACK WOMEN DO NOT RESPECT BLACK MEN…JUST A YOUNG WOMAN CURIOUS TO KNOW WHAT WE THINK AND TO TELL US WHAT SHE HAS THOUGHT ABOUT THE TOPIC SO FAR… SOME PEOPLE JUST APPARENTLY TOOK THIS AS A VALVE TO VENT THEIR DISGUST AND BIASIS. THE POST ISNT HORRIBLE BUT MOST OF THE COMMENTS R WITH THIER SEXISM, RACIAL SLURS AND BLACK DENIGRATION..

  25. mike

    On November 30, 2009 at 5:10 pm

    It seem to be that some black men and women may still suffer from some efects of slavery in one form or another with the way they are with each other inrelationships But at this late date there is so mush infomation about black history that one ( man or women )should know ones position in an relationship as a man or a women in this american society. Men and woman that respect and are responsible for one self, ones household, childen and community, also knowing the attributes of what a men/women is or should be and defind that with ones needs are in a relationship, black and white men and woman may have more love for one another.

  26. Jim-Brad

    On December 7, 2009 at 12:58 pm

    I’m ebony black(and at 56,considered a classically handsome Canadian lad)and most black women are fat,fugly,b***hy or all three,plus they believe themselves irresistible and worthy of wealthy and/or rich men.In short,too many of these porkers are full of themselves(and crap.)
    However,big hair,big boob,leggy black head-banger and/or
    biker babes,cowgirls,U.K. lasses and Caribbean “birds” are my
    ideal babes!!!!(especially dark-skinned ones!!!!)

  27. Anonymous

    On December 17, 2009 at 11:31 pm

    A grown woman should not be looking for a “protector, provider, or security” from a man. Babies need protection, to be provided for, and security. The spoiled baby with an attitude mad because men don’t want to take of her needs to go have a seat somewhere. Men don’t owe women anything. And no one cares what the dumb American woman thinks about men. Black women are running around with AIDS and other STDs.

  28. Blackgirlkeepingitreal

    On December 26, 2009 at 1:49 am

    I can honestly say that white men are just as worse in a diffrent way. As a black women I had a friend that was an excort and also worked as a phone sex operator. (Don’t dis credit me yet) During my encounter with my friend she had told me some horrific things of the nature of Anglo Saxon white American men. She stated after I had shared my disappointment with her toward how black men act, That “Girl trust me white guys are worst”! I was shocked and might I add eagerly to commence further in our conversation. She continued to tell me that as someone in the sex industry she had had a lot of white male regulars. She basically told me that all white american men were basically in the closet about their true sexual orientation. These white guys wanted services like, Seeing their wives have sex with a straping black guy, beastiality, Dominatix fetishes, pissed on, defficated on and all these weird things trust me that you coul’nt even come up with. Not to mention white guys have unrealistic goals when it comes to women like their women have to stay in shape and young. They also make their wives sleep with their friends and a LOT of them have pediphilla tendencies. She told me “Girl after I had my experience with wm I now know why white women are running”. I told her not all wm could be like that. After stating that she had had over 2,000 regular callers from her phone sex job and 17 regulars in her excort job I knew that she knew what she was talking about. Black women keep thinking that most white women are “Taking” black men to spite us but the truth is these women are going though psycological issues caused by the wm’s sexual perversion and unrealistic beauty expectations and they are FEED UP! The white man has but white women on a pedastal in terms of her physical features but he makes it apparent that once she gets old or fat she is very very devalued in the white community.In the end the white women knows that a black man will apreciate her more even though he may abuse her mentally or physically she knows that deep down inside this black man apreciates her and worships her like a goddess because she knows and a lot of black men know that the black man really does not see “Fat” or “old”. All he sees is white. Do not underestimate that fact that most white women are in fact not aware of the black man’s disfunctuality and self contiouness of himself.They are in fact aware of it and when they are not able to get a white man they will take full advantage of the fact that this black man worships her skin. If you are a white women over 40 and or either overweight, your chances with a white man may well be over but your ablity to get a black man has just began. You may have some white women who chase after black men married and single out of spite and recentment for the black women (For various reasons) but most just want to be apreciated for being a women.

  29. SPC. Jesmond A Russ

    On January 12, 2010 at 9:28 am

    I think your mind is clouded. First of all, I am a 23 yr old african american male. It is people like you that cause black men to lean towards the opposite race female. I am married and have two beautiful kids and take care of all of them very well. I became a father at the age of 21 and knew what i had to do in order to provide for my new family. I stepped up and done better than most 40 yr old black men. I am in the process of buying my own house and have two vehicles already paid for and an 800 credit score. So before u try to compare every black man to the one’s you deal with you might want to look within your self and find out what is wrong with you that has u constantly attracting no good black men as you say. The problem might not be the men it just might be you.

  30. karen

    On January 18, 2010 at 8:39 pm

    I am a young black female and I am engaged to someone who is not black. I live in the Caribbean also so i have an idea of what the lady is referring to. Although I can’t speak for the U.S, I do know that black men in the Caribbean are usually disappointments. I can’t go so far as to say all of them but the vast majority are. I am older than the writer and i have a little more experience where men are concerned. My reason for getting married to someone outside of my race was not a racially motivated decision despite what some may think and I have been in relationships with black men before. Also I have observed relationships with black men and women of other races in my country and I can honestly say that there is a difference in the way they treat us and the way they treat the other types of women. They are more respectful, they work harder to provide for them, they are less abusive and most important they strive to earn their respect more. Though I am not an expert, it seems to me that the issue has a lot to do with the value they place on black women as a whole. I suppose in their eyes their self worth and their status is raised when they are with women of other races as opposed to when they are with black women so they work harder to maintain that status. Most of it has to do with the image the society places on black women as a whole. White is beautiful. straight hair is gorgeous, so that is what these men strive obtain with the misguided belief that society will respect them more for doing it.
    It is sad that the author has been disillusioned so young because it has made her a bit cynical I think but most of you all are not from our world so you have no right to judge her until you experience that life for yourself. Everything is different out here in the Caribbean and sorry to say that even though slavery was abolished physically it still exists in the mindset of our people out here.

  31. Myke

    On February 16, 2010 at 4:20 am

    Quite sad and pathetic. I’ve always stayed loyal to black women and regarded them as queens, but reading articles like this is gradually changing my attitude. This type of mindset that black women have IS indeed the reason why us as black men flock to women outside of our race.

  32. D. Whiteman

    On March 11, 2010 at 11:38 pm

    You are talking as if you fully understand the subject, but it’s clear that you, in fact, do not. Women like you are the reason there will always be tension between the two black genders. You’ve datin 2 light-skinned educated black men that didn’t work out and you’re ready to throw the rest under the bus. Grow up.

  33. The Truth

    On March 20, 2010 at 8:26 pm


  34. ballsdanglin

    On March 22, 2010 at 10:48 am

    No wonder your & your mama are single. She brain washed you. LBJ has you right where he wanted you! And because ALL black women seem to be dumber than a box of rocks i will never marry or give any of you my seed! You women are too damn fast, not loyal, and most ungrateful. You blame blackmen for all of your stupid mistakes. You hop from man to man and then you start saying how strong you are and that you don’t need a man. Your kids will abondon you just like you abondoned us. When your old, wrinkled, sickly, and ALONE we will see how strong you are.

  35. whitty

    On March 22, 2010 at 11:05 am

    “It is difficult for any woman to respect black men when most (I said most not all my detractors) are not standing up to their responsibilities.”

    WTF? You don’t respect them when they do! Every black guy I know takes care of his kids. This one black guy i know has 5 kids and he raises all 5 by himself. With no womans help. Maybe those light skinned brother you dated realized you was a gold digger.

  36. Lisa

    On April 29, 2010 at 12:36 pm

    Crystal you\’re my heroin and keep it up like never before. I personally feel sorry for anyone who is in a relationship with a black man. They are just crap, why lie? I would never dare. I have seen them hurt so many of my friends and most of them no matter how wealthy or learned, they are still the most uncivilized people in this world. I am a black woman and have been married by my white sweetheart for the last 7 years and I tell you, I dont get better than this! Keep it up gal and dont let any black man near you, they are just not worth the try. Period.

  37. Lisa

    On May 3, 2010 at 12:14 pm

    Madam karen, I salute you with all the respect in the world!!!! I think you soberly and maturely put it down very well. What you wrote is actually the case everywhere where there are black men. They complain alot whenever there is a problem to be addressed instead of getting a solution. I think that’s the main reason a continent like africa is always begging for Aid from International Donors and you will realise that they are not poor; they are just greedy and thats why most men want to marry many wives while there are so many families going to bed hungry.

  38. BlackmnII

    On May 17, 2010 at 3:55 pm

    Have you people really read read this article!!!!!

    This twenty year old black girl i dear not say woman writes an article about black relationships in America. (I have shoes in my closet older then she is.) She has never been off the island and definitely has not been to America.
    Yet and still she knows all about the plight of black woman and men in America!! She dated two
    black men that\’s what she says and they both dumped her,they were both hi yellow brothers with collage degrees who drove Mercedes.. Every Black woman in America knows in past history that in America if you
    date and have babies with hi yellow brothers chances are 90% of you are going to be on your own and the brown and dark skin brothers wind up raising these black babies. Black woman have always chased after hi yellow brothers be cause they want hi yellow babies that is a given in america for black woman…… or white men for hi yellow babies with curly hair. \” nobody wants to be black in america\” Every body wants to be part black and something else. As far as what her mother told her that is a bunch of crap!!!
    These mothers and grand mothers from way back were taught to disrespect all the black man as not a good provider and to disrespect their man by the whites slave owners and whites in general. \” Still whites saying the same thing to this very day.\”
    That blacks were lazy and shifless…. you here it enough you begin to believe it.
    Especially when it is repeated over and over for couple hundred years and it is and american saying (Like)
    Moms apple pie… =Blacks men are lazy and shifless and don\’t want to work. It be comes an American icon.
    He can not find work whites who still control the job market to this very day will not hire a black man so what happens the black man is forced to leaves his wife and children who he loves and let the goverment take care of them.

    so what happens the whiteman goverment steps in and says i\’ll take care of you you don\’t need that black man i will give you money and food for your children have sex with me and i will take care of you. \” make sure that black man don\’t come around\”.
    What i\’m saying is black woman on the sly for the past 150 years have been sleeping with the white man and very quick to point the finger and it even worst to day if you don\’t belive it try to step in between a white man and a black woman just talking or going out or dating see how much disrespect you get then. You don\’t believe me see how many stage and screen actress are dating or married to white men and you never see them in public its like its a state secret.
    You can go into any town in america where black men are not even allowed after dark and you will find a mixed couple black wm and white man and they been together for some years
    put a black man and a white woman in that same situation and that black man will be run out of town litierally.
    There are more then you know these guys just use them up and cast tthem aside and go marry white woman to settle down with.
    You know what is said the freest people in america are a white man and black woman.
    Example my ex.ex,ex,ex,ex,girl friend mother had 19 children( all grown now) and she was never married, but all the fathers were light skin guys she had three sets of twins and the rest were sngle children and she dated married and single men who did not want to be responsible for their children and it was really sad out of all thoese kids she would not reveal who the fathers of each child was.
    so when she passed nobody knew who there father was.

    Sad thing about it she hated brown and dark skin men because that is what she was taught.
    She died basically alone.
    I beleve some of the fathers were white and she was ashamed to reveal the truth. Sad thing about it she hated brown and dark skin men. Her mother had abunch of children and her mother had a bunch of chldren,were talking about 5 generations of woman with no husbans and most of the woman and chldren looked like they had hi yellow and white fathers.
    So Black woman and men stop all the hate we know not what we do until you understand the history of your people…. and why your mothers tell you black men are no good and you have all the facts, these people ( white men) saying the same thing about black men.
    Why do you think white men say black woman are so easy be cause you BW are so busy thinking he will put you in a beautiful home in a nice neighborhood and buy you nice things
    That is reserved for his white or asian wife.
    This is a different erea both black people can work together buy their own home in a nice area and buy nice cars furnishings raise children,ect.
    Use your head and stop hating and start creating!!!!!
    If black men are so lazy why are so many black men in prison for trying to hustle, for their families and their children who some of these guys are so proud to have children. If you blieve the media blacks and black men are the biggest criminals in the history of the world
    yet white and non white men commit 70% of the crime in america yet (90% of people in jail are black) and white men have commited some of the biggest crimes in the history of the united states yet they get community service or pick up trash along the freeway. Black woman fall for that crap…. oh he\’s been to the pen he must be bad don\’t you realise what is going on they put young brother in jail for two reasons 1) so they dont reproduce.
    2) So they can charge them with a felony so the can\’t vote or get a decent job.
    Next time you see any black man charged with any thing and its on the news first thing they say it is a felony, and a white with the same charge it is a misdominor.
    I am not saying some brothers dont belong in jail yes they do BUT there are some brothers in jail for the most minor of offensives serving big time
    Lena Horn married to a white guy since the 40\’s,fancy from the jamie fox show, wayans sister,.. to name a few there is a lot more more woman then men. .Don\’tknow there real names.

    As for these white guys trolling these boards they are very weak bastards they are just jelious

    we black men really don\’t want your white woman they are nasty bitches and will do anything for a dollar, You can have them because all your white friends are getting euro and asian woman
    some of our black woman are starting to wise up they don\’t want you either. They know you are Murderers and Child Molesters and Rapist its in your Blood

    Leave us the black woman and men alone we really don\’t need you any more!

  39. Itsmeagain, and I told the TRUTH

    On June 6, 2010 at 10:11 pm

    You know what’s even more depressing than this tired (yet, sadly necessary) topic? Reading through the comments of this post (and similar ones across the internet) that (alleged) black people – adults- post who can’t spell/form coherent sentences to save their lives.

    That being said, I think we should REALLY vote to have LITERACY on deck for the next black blogger’s obsessive topic.

  40. BlackCowboyBurt1953

    On June 9, 2010 at 5:28 pm

    Well,if most black broads weren’t fat,bossy-boots b***hes,perhaps us classically handsome black lads would grant them second looks.(The fattest ones don’t even get the FIRST glance from me!!!)
    However,I’d LOVE black Texas cowgirls(and black Southern U.S. women in general)because most seem to still accept the Southern female “beauty code”.(And the buxom Caribbean
    “birdies” are likely the most beautiful women!!!)

  41. 12GaugeFeminist

    On June 12, 2010 at 7:28 pm

    BlackCowboyBurt1953, you’ve basically added absolutely nothing to this discussion, other than typical “put-downs” coming from that of an insecure black male.

    Please stop the insults back and forth, I’m talking to both men and women.

    Where does it end, folks?!! When and where does it end?


  42. willallmighty

    On July 28, 2010 at 4:22 pm

    You can argue back and fourth about this and that, but the truth is she is correct in every thing she has said. There is no disputing the facts and fact is that MOST, but not all black men(Know a few of them my self) do not own up to what needs to be done and also have a lack of interest for anything besides what they think will be good for themselves at that very moment. ( Example:Thats why there are more black women with HIV than any other race or creed because of the selfishness of there men.) Just to give an example. I am from America and I can see this.IT DOES NOT MATTER THE AGE OF THE WISE WHEN THE WISDOM IS AS OLD AS STONE. No put downs just step up to the real life plate fellas.

  43. rodham3681

    On August 3, 2010 at 4:43 pm

    Why do black women blame black men for why white men don\\\’t like them.?
    78% of black-white relationships are between black men-white woman. Black women will say that this is only because black women are under pressure not to date interacially, but this is bullshit because black men and white women face the same pressure from their families. Black woman complain that they are called race traitors if they date out, but black guys who do the same are called so to. In fact black men are under more pressure than black women. I have heard about black women complaining about famous black men like Tiger Woods, Michael Jackson,Kobe Bryant dating white men. By contrasts famous black women who date white men like Tina Turner, Halley Barry, Iman and Kerry Washington have yet to be hated on by black men.

    Black Women seem to think white men secretly like them but won\\\’t date because of their fear of black men. Now while their are some white men afraid of black men,I cannot believe that white men who are cops,firefighters,and cowboys are so afraid of black men that they wouldn\\\’t date a black girl they liked. Furthermore, black women seem to forget that black men who are dating white women have been threatned more by white males like the KKK than white males with black women. Black men -White women relationships face more threats than white males with black women relationships because their are cases of which black men beat up white men for dating black women, but there are also cases of which white men beat up black men for dating white women. But while there are cases of where black females beat up white females for dating black men, you never hear cases of white women beating up black women for dating white men.

    Black women don\\\’t seem to understand that black people of both genders are more likely to accept interacial dating then other races. For example the ancient Greeks recorded thousdands of years aho that Arabs from Yemen would travel and marry black from the east Africa. In the Sudan starting from the 1400\\\’s after Christian Nubia fell, the Arabs were allowed by black men to marry black women, but the Arabs did not allow their women to marry black men. Black men have never like white men or Arabs force black women to stick with them by making laws.

    A huge reason for why black women think that white men secreltylike them is because white plantation owners would rape black female slaves, but this doesn\\\’t mean they were attracted to most black women. Put it this way, a white man like Thomas Jefferson could have more than hundreds of black slaves. Even the most racist white male would probably find a few black women attractive out of 100. Most white males find Beyonce or Rhianna attractivebut not the average black woman. Another reason for why white plantation owners raped their black female slaves was because besides his wife they were often the only females available.

    Black Women seem to forget that white men wrote the rules that declares them to be ugly not black men. The Ancient Greeks recorded that black men would prefer the darkest and more flat nosed of their women. Why did that change. It changed because white men used the media to make black women look ugly. Since the midde ages white men have bashed black women as masculine looking.Although black women commit less crimes than white men, white men still hate them simply because they see them as ugly.

    Black women need to stop blaming black men for white men don\\\’t like them
    7 months ago
    Additional Details
    To Little Miss Fire Starter Member -I didn\\\’t say black men don\\\’t have a problem withit, I said that black womrn ignore the fact that white men do the same thing. There have been much more white men killing black men and white women for being togther in this country than black men killing white men. Futhermore black women sometimes do the same to white women-but white women never atacck black women
    7 months ago

  44. Jeri

    On August 21, 2010 at 1:10 am

    @SPC Jesmond A Russ

    You made a statement that black women like the one who wrote this article is the reason why so many black men are thinking about dating outside their race. Look, if you let the comment of one woman turn you against all black women, you probably wanted to date outside your race the whole time and you are using her as an excuse to do so. Grow up. I have been hurt by men, mostly black men, but I still don’t think it would be wise to turn against all black men. Some black men are mean, some are kind. It is an individual thing. It is the same with black women. Some are kind and some aren’t. So if you are so quick to run into the arms of a white woman, it has probably been on your mind the whole time. Just be a man and say that is what you want and don’t use black woman as an excuse. You are responsible for your own behavior, not all black women.

    I think the problem with so many black women being angry with black men is that so many black women are having a hard time finding partners. And there are so many reasons for this. First, there are alot of black men who simply aren’t marriage material. Either they are gay ( or bisexual), in prison, obsessed with white or lightskinned women, or are already married. And then many men are unemployed also and many black women don’t want to marry someone without a job. But also, just like black men, black women are stressed. They have so much they have to deal with. Racism, sexism, a bad economy, colorism, crime, etc. Also, black women often feel as if they are not appreciated and loved, mostly because of the way they look. And many feel they don’t have a black man beside them to help alleviate some of the problems. Many black men are stressed also. And for similar reasons. And instead of addressing the real problems that affect our community, we take it out on one another. Enough already. How long are we going to do this to one another? Yeah, there are some bad eggs in our community ( both men and women) but that is why it is so important to take your time when dating someone. People are individuals. Take your time to get to know them and find out what they are all about. Also, learn something about yourself and what your needs are. Stop rushing into the sex and learn to be a your man/woman’s friend first. You will eventually realize what you are dealing with after awhile. And you can decide if you really want to be with that person. Everything is not about race. There are ignorant white and black people. If you just look at the outside of a person, you are going to be in for a huge dissappointed. But black women, I am not saying not to date outside your race. Unfortunately, there are so many black men who are determined to date interracially, often because they have an obession with fairskinned or because so many black men have been brainwashed into believing that all black women are loud or obnoxious. So there is nothing wrong with dating interracially yourself. But remember, people are people. So make sure you are concerned with the man as a individual and not his race. There are good and bad in every race, so like I mentioned before, take your time and get to know the person. You might find your Mr. Right. You don’t know. But I am not saying to completely diss black men, just to broaden your options.

  45. Jeri

    On August 21, 2010 at 1:30 am


    You are so full of it. What makes you think that all white women are obsessed with being with black men? Some white women find black men attractive and some don’t. Period. I don’t disagree with you entirely. Some white men think black women are ugly but one thing you failed to mention. The majority of black women who are married to white men are darkskinned. All you have to do is go on youtube and look at the black women who are with white men. Most of them are very attractive women who are brown or darkskinned, not lightskinned like Beyonce or Rhianna. So there are white men who do find darkskinned black women attractive. I don’t think all white men do, maybe not even the majority, but some. Keep in mind that the vast majority of white women are married to white men and probably prefer white men. There are a large number who may be attractive to black men, but don’t assume that it is the majority. And considering that blacks are minority anyway, it doesn’t matter. All it would require is a minority of whites to feel differently about blacks. You are just playing the same game so many black men play by saying that all white men find us ugly. Some white men do. Some don’t. Period.

  46. Elvis

    On September 9, 2010 at 11:57 am

    The truth is Black women from different parts of the world behave differently, for example, black American and Carribean ( especiallly Jamaican BW) and some British BW, have an attitude problem, talking from experience, Sourthen African women are more reserved , well behaved, respectfull and have cultural values in general compared to their fellow western BW, i don’t know what it is, but it certainly wouldn’t have a place in my society, we respect our women and they respect us back. i would be mad, if not delusional to think i can ever be with an American or jamaican woman for that matter, they are so foul mouthed and lack basic values that a respectful, normal black woman possess, probably not all of the BW are like that overseas, but most of them are. its a disgrace to our mother land Africa and paints a disgusting picture of black women. we don’t want to be assosiated with fools like that and i say to the black men married or in a relationship with WM, it doesnt matter who youre with, just as long as you love that person, another woman’s lose is another woman’s gain, black or white.

  47. yadada

    On October 11, 2010 at 2:16 am

    I feel that some of what women say about us is true, well 50% true. let me add why and what. black women is a mf. 90% looking for someone they can beg for money. they talk about not wanting a thug but they still want the money. most already have kids but other men or another man. then you got the ones who want you to take care of someone elses child. They’re jealous when they see you shine. A women is suppose to stand by her man. bw mostly look for benefits so we tag and keep it to a minimum. they want you to move in to take on a responsibilility thats not yours, but we wont go for it. bw will eat a nice guy for breakfast. they talk so down to a brother no the people racist and say we dont wanna work but as soon as we come up here they come they are so fake. same as white girls here they come only after the shine. they stare at your friends but play you like it never happened i say f@ a B@–H. knockem down and send back like they do us. they use us for money and sex. the white boy can where k-mart but they look down on us so like the whites and it hurts. But we secretly hate some of yall thats why we make fun of BW they’ll date anybody that got some money pathetic.

  48. ari

    On November 7, 2010 at 8:53 am

    in my opinion not all black men act this way There are some good out there.I am a black woman a young black woman.From what ive seen it all depends on the individual.I have heard black men talk just as bad about black women and viceversa and unless u have dated every black man/women then a general assumption of how they are as mates is null and void in my book.Next i want to point out if you ,as a man or woman want to talk so much trash about a group u havnt even met all of yet, are not only ignorant, but need to at least hold yourself up to the same standards dont be a hypocrite for example if you are a man talking about how you want to date a woman who has everything on your christmas list and you bringing a sentence to the really need to pause and take a second as a matter of fact take hours and think about it are u really being fair? This includes black women or any who wants a man to be understanding and cant listen to him for two minutes without interrupting.That also goes for a black man or any who wants a woman who is proper and respectful but they dont hold themseves up to the same standards. In other words if you dont want a hoe well maybe you should keep your thing in your pants and are as respectful of your privates as you want your woman to be or that is what you will end up with.because no matter what race thats crazy stds is not gender bias even with a kiss you can catch something.

  49. ari

    On November 7, 2010 at 9:41 am

    and another thing for all the black men who are saying things like this is why we are fleeing to white women are proving her right thats a cop out and you guys need to be stronger than that

  50. Mac

    On January 3, 2011 at 1:03 pm

    Us as a black community have been pointing the finger at eachother for too long. Also we blame others for our conditions, we have no one to blame but ourselves. Now a days we neither know our places and refuse to take responsibility to our roles as it states in the bible, koran, torah etc. The role of a man is to provide food and shelter for his family, the woman is to take care of the home and to provide meals for the family. Other cultures abide by those morals more than we do. There are functional black families but there are few. I myself am a young black male that is married to a black woman. I am going through a tough time with my wife now as I speak. We been married since 2006. We sat down and discussed together eachother’s roles at first. But I am sad to say that things turned dramatically. I was raised to keep a house clean and I am the only one washing dishes, vacuum and mop the floor, make up the bed,, clean up kitchen etc. All I ask my wife repeatedly just help me a little, I moved her into my brand new home, I purchased before I met her. But it seems that she does not appreciate it at all. She only cooks maybe once a week, have sex with me once a week but I have to initiate it. Also I have our son 75% of the time. She works like I work and i go to school trying to make a better life for us all but she always have an excuse for not doing nothing in the home. I even do all the laundry. Now with all that said, there are alot of good black men out there like me struggling because they have women thats not appreciative. But that does not drive me to white women or no other race of women, because im attracted to black women. And I know there are alot of good black women out there, so that is not a excuse to go after white women. But due to my dating, and marriage experience I can see where some of these brothers are coming from. We are loosing eachother and our race is being torn apart because of disobedience of gods order. Thats why we are in the situation we in now and allow society to cause us to be stubborn, and disrespectful to eachother. We need a revolution within our own community

  51. jerry lee

    On January 11, 2011 at 8:54 pm

    i understand the import of the young lady’s message but these responses just prove how ignorant, bellicose and unintellligent balck people are. why cant you have a discussion without resorting to hurling insults at the writer…i know some black men may be offended by the post but arent we all offended by someone’s opinions one way or the other…have u ever been to jamaica? do you know that majority of the men in the country that this girl resides do not take care or any active role in the lives of their children. note there are good jamaican men but majority are a sad tale when it comes to family and relationships….this is the background to her argument and maybe if you di your research you wouldnt be up here telling the world how ignorant and odious we are. tehe time you people spend hurling insults…you find cures for your problems. i dont see anyone hurling insults at tyrese when he claims that most balck people i mean men dnt this and dnt that…why? because the turth is so stink you cant air freshner it like you are doing the filth on this page…

  52. Ken

    On January 27, 2011 at 7:25 am

    I have read a majoriy of the comments pertaining to the situations we face as black men and women. I am 55,years old, married for over 31 years to my educated wife. Father of 2, son and daughter. I feel the anguish and bitterness coming from my sisters soul down in the Carribean. What she and many others like her do not understand is that we’ve been conditioned to hate ourselves for centuries.One must be reacquainted with the true knowledge of himself through his creator before he or she can begin to renew his mind to what his true purpose is. Many of our men are taught to believe that breeding is our way to manhood. This is wrong thinking. Our women are being used as instruments of pleasure by the powers that be, reinforcing negative images of ourselves. This is the scourage of White Supremacy.”The god of this world has blinded the minds them lest they see the light of God” The devil knows this. This is Satan’s primary tatic of divisiveness.He knows that from you sister, our deliverer will come. But if you are sleeping with the enemy, it prolongs his demise because you have compromised your soul for his material world; “Come out from among them and be ye seperate, thus sayeth the Lord”. Be ye not unevenly yoked with the unbeliever. He has always devided us, be it through drugs, money,gangs, lying or even skin color,Brothers, she wants you first to respect her mind. What she brings forth, from her womb,must originate in her head.The knowledge of God will liberate her from all forms of misunderstanding because this knowledge will define her purpose. But you must stimulate her mentally, before anyting else beautiful can occur. “He who prescribes the diameter of your learning..wll determine the circumference of your activity”! If these so-called Conservatives continues to feed your mind on his new order of filth and decadence, parading freakish women in your midst,sanctioning every ungodly perversions of our imagination, then guess what? Sister, you are our hope; God will never use the the him to deliver us to the promises He has given to his people. The slave master, has never delivered his subjected slaves to God .He has fought and lied against all of us, to keep us from the truth. Because the truth will set you free. I leave you with this thought…Whenever God’s presence is in the earth, you will surely find his words not amongst the wise of this world, but among the downtrodden, the despise and the rejected of men.. the stone that none of the builders of this worlds order want to use. He knows that his time is up; that is why his social, political,religious and economic order is in Kaos. Now he has to blame somebody for his own evil demise, and he has picked us. Yep… The dry bones,lying in his Valley of decision, doing nothing, And what are we doing,blaming each other.The thief cometh not but to kill, steal and to destroy. So the great dragon was cast out, the Devil, who decieveth the whole world, Satan,was cast to the earth.Woe unto the inhabitants of the earth and the sea, for Satan has come down to you bringing great wrath,bcause he knows he has but a short time! He’s already stirring an atmosphere of hatred, be it Rush, or Glenn. or Shawn or Bill. When the justifable killing becomes so prevelant, our cries wont be heard by the courts. No, they are the ones sanctioning it. Its all going on all around us. When you can send a blackman to jail for killing a dog, but a cop in Oakland only gets four years for killing a blackman, these are the sighns of anarchy.

  53. Tiki33

    On March 3, 2011 at 11:12 pm

    Not are black men are bone heads. On the other hand a lot are. I believe that a lot has to do with their up bringing. Some are raised to be spoiled and get their way. When they enter a relationship they dispay this same behavior. We have to let them know that we are not going to stand for it. I pray for black men, they need it and through prayer there will be change. Thanks for the share!

  54. maria

    On June 1, 2011 at 9:04 am

    WHO RAISES Black man !!!!!THAAAAANK YOU ..look at obama raised by white woman …AMEN stop badgering black males black mothers are thoughtless selfcentered selfish cruel to their children especially boys and the result are sociopathic behavior in males caused by the first person that should love them unconditionally the mother……,

  55. Japanese women rock

    On June 14, 2011 at 10:12 pm

  56. ebonyeyes

    On July 13, 2011 at 3:53 pm

    A life without God will cause u to blame others for your shortcomings, men & women of any race can lie, cheat,deceive, if God is absent and your morals are not in tact. People leave their race seeking something better and they are the problem.

  57. jeanie

    On July 13, 2011 at 3:55 pm

    A life without God will cause u to blame others for your shortcomings, men & women of any race can lie, cheat,deceive, if God is absent and your morals are not in tact. People leave their race seeking something better and they are the problem.

  58. jeanie

    On July 13, 2011 at 4:04 pm

    A life without God will cause u to blame others for your shortcomings, men & women of any race can lie, cheat,deceive, if God is absent and your morals are not in tact. People leave their race seeking something better and they are the problem. @Marriage what do u know about black somebody? R u black? U don’t know our struggles!!

  59. jeanie

    On July 13, 2011 at 4:08 pm

    A life without God will cause u to blame others for your shortcomings, men & women of any race can lie, cheat,deceive, if God is absent and your morals are not in tact. People leave their race seeking something better and they are the problem. @Maria-what do u know about blacks? R u black? U don’t know our struggles!!

  60. Shannon

    On September 8, 2011 at 11:29 pm

    Well, I agree with what she is saying. Black men are some of the sorriest, laziest, irresponsible and selfish specimens walking on this earth. They don’t think they should have to provide for or raise the children they helped to create and would rather be a criminal or a bum than get a job.

    Black men really need to take a long look at themselves and stop pointing fingers at black women and everyone else. They have some serious issues and for whatever reason, they show no interest in ending the cycle of fatherless children as they themselves were.

    They don’t want to be responsible for themselves, so they dump it all on everyone else. They don’t want to support their children and they have a string of them with several different women and actually brag about it. They think bedding a bunch of different women makes them a man. I was watching an episode of “Lockup: County Jail,” and this young black boy was doing time for robbery, drugs and assault. He was up for parole and was granted parole and you know what that dumbass did? He tore up his parole papers, choosing to stay behind bars and all the way back to his cell he kept saying, “Yeah, them white folks wanna try to tell me what I’m gonna do. I tore up them papers, I didn’t want that parole. That’s gansta, that’s gangsta.” He sounded like a damn fool. What is there to be gained in sitting in jail? His way of avoiding getting a real job and acting like he has some sense? SMH

    As a rule, I don’t date black men. They will disappoint and treat you like crap and expect you to support them. I guarantee it. Don’t do it. You are better than that and deserve better.

  61. Marcius E. Chester

    On September 13, 2011 at 9:15 pm

    I was raised to have HONOR,RESPECT,DIGNITY,INTEGRITY,OLD FAMILY VALUES,MORALS, CHARACTER and respect all women know matter what color. The Black American Women that I have come across in my life have all treated and disrespected me know matter how well I treated them. They all say where are all the GOOD BLACK MEN. Well here is one. Its not about the color of a women’s skin its about who is going to treat me the way that they want to be treated. To me it all has to due with the way a woman has been raised, and if she does not meet my high standards then I am not going to waist my time with the games. I have my faults just like any other human being.
    But when it comes to having the right woman in my life I need someone who going to be my BEST FREIND,LOVER,WIFE, SOULMATE etc., and not someone who want to use me for benefits.
    Have been and always will be. So if that means that I have to go outside of my race to find what I am looking for so be it.

    God Bless
    Thank You for reading my comment on this subject.

  62. MyReality

    On October 23, 2011 at 11:43 pm

    Back in the day black women stood by her man fought his fight and they did this as a unit. Today’s black women or the original baby boomers have fallen slave to the system or what I call being pimped by welfare, food stamps, section 8. You know longer need your black man; you’ve got free shit a new home, car clothes and food in your fridge all by just opening up your legs. Should have kept them closed got an education a career, and most important a man who respect and love you. The system has fooled your baby making ass who (pop your legs open any chance you get) refuse education, a job, finding a spiritual hardworking man who would have planned a future for the two of you. The relationship began to drift further apart so you had to do something rash to keep that man who no longer wanted you. Just think if you would have waited for a man who would marry you, before he lay with you. His morals and values are in the right place, but because his penis is big or his face is fine what can you do to make him your. You’ve got pregnant to keep him which made him run further away, you’re mad as hell at him the world why won’t he stay. Now you retaliate Ni—a you better pay your child support you dead beat dad. Did you ever consider he loved the sex but wasn’t ready to settle down, he thought you felt the same but you played your little game. Making him believe you were still on the pill while he still thinking he can chill. Don’t get mad at him for not being ready you set him up to be a daddy. Thinking you would be this partridge family, yet all you did was make him run from thee. The only women black men have problems with are the ones who act ghetto (black, white, Hispanic), we’ve been there so a white girl comes alone she may not be cute, she may be overweight but she lets us be men and don’t fight us when we try to leave she just wish us well and we end up going back because we realize she’s got our back. Men are dogs we love the chase a women that screw you the first time and don’t make you wait is not going to be you wife for life. If she makes you work for it and hold out you respect her and fall in love with her and began to make plans with her instead of her making plans for you by forcing a relationship/family on you.

  63. MyReality

    On October 24, 2011 at 12:36 am

    My kids dropped out of college my daughter married with kids my son living with girlfriend and no job just smoking weed. They had the same opportunity as everyone else, they both had full scholarships. Calling me begging for this and that, go back to school get a life it’s hard out here but this is the real world. I gave them life what they chose to do with it is on them, you are grown get a life I’m too old to be taking care of you and me. Why would anyone choose to get married straight out of high school top of their class full scholarship and now married with children no job and begging for help. And why would any grown ass man depend on a women to provide for him when he had the same opportunity as the next to better himself yet he chooses to sat around and stay high. What next? Is his girlfriend going to say I’m pregnant, him with no job no education. I don’t give a damn about black or white just treat me right and respect the fact that I’m not ready to pop your cherry and start a family. Why put a small life in the world with the hopes that his daddy will stay, did you talk about children, family, religion, education. Did you talk about the future at all before you decided to lay down together? Black women It’s your ethnicity that attracts other men (White, Hispanic, Asian, Middle Eastern), your difference that’s what makes you sexy. Drop the attitudes and the ghetto ways and you can get any man you want. Hell it work for fat white women to whom their own white men reject them and leave them for the brother’s to pick up. Most of them straight out of prison (Bad Credit, No Job , No Education). But the brothers treat her like a QUEEN because spite his short comings she treat him like a KING. Which you have failed to do since the 60’s…. I don’t think white women cared so much about the D–K they just want someone to treat them right and I think that is true with black men as-well…………
    If he’s just not that into you don’t fight him, try to trap him, have him arrested, let him go. See that is another way the system has played our black women. The prison’s are crawdad with my brothers and I blame women, you have more power than we give you credit for. Call the cops he’ll lock your black ass up, yell rap, he hit me, he didn’t pay for his baby…….bla bla bla……….. Close you damn legs all you babies having babies and no daddy’s. They are either on Drugs, Dead, Locked-up or on the way to be locked up because his mom can’t control him he doesn’t want to go to school he wants’ to be a rapper a drug dealer a player a pimp (dumb ass). Stop opening your legs to people who don’t love your nor care for you or want a life with you. Save the next generation of young black boy’s and girls give them real morals and values strive to be the best and never let anyone tell you otherwise. Lock it up (clank clank) or everything I’ve just talked about is going to happen to you. It’s an on going cycle we see all day every day, dumb ass shows like Jerry S., Murray P., Steve W. and we sit back and laugh but it’s really sad. Not only is america broke we are overweight and under achievers compaired to other countries. It really bother me to hear our young men today express their future goal is to be a rapper. What a joke and these are the kids you are poping out of your legs.

  64. Jay

    On January 5, 2012 at 12:39 pm

    Men and the women are both disappointments…. Not all but enough fall short and don’t rep the race in a good light
    what so ever…..

  65. Sisters Unite

    On January 24, 2012 at 8:08 pm

    On point sister. As a whole black men are so damn sorry. They’ve always been sorry and forever will be. Black women need to move on. I understand everyone has faults but every black man I have ever dated have either been a liar, a cheater, etc. The list goes on and on. They play games and are never who they claim to be. When their cover is blown they turn the blame around on you (as if their actions can be justified) and show their real asses. It is sad when a group of women cannot look up to their men for the comfort and security they need. Men are supposed to be the leaders, the providers, the ones that hold everything together but look at the hands black women are dealt. Then they want to stereotype us as the “angry black women.” Maybe this is our way of coping and making our points heard since obviously being nice and rational does not work with most black men. Men of other cultures have treated me with more respect, dignity, and appreciation than any black man I have ever dealt with. They are able to take the blame when they are wrong and say “Im sorry” when it is due. It takes a real man to own up to his faults. Most black men aren’t real men regardless of how much education they have and how understanding they pretend to be. Sad but true. I wait for the day that a black man to prove me wrong. Thus far they have been proving me right. Im starting to believe the phrase that “niggas really aint shit.” I will be single for the rest of my life before I ever settle for a dead beat. Im better than that SHIT, literally most of them are the equivalent to it : ). BLACK WOMEN HAVE SOME SELF-ESTEEM. DO NOT SETTLE FOR THESE BUMS.

  66. Dr.CandiOBelle

    On March 15, 2012 at 12:47 pm

    The level of horror in these comments is staggering. I understand and appreciate the disdain in many of the views I have read but make no mistake, these are just that..’comments”. For every person you have met that may have been racial, rude or just ignorant, I can show you the absolute opposite. Maybe its where you live? (I live in Atlanta and for every hoodlum there are good guys everywhere). It is true that music mostly rap has had an overall negative effect on the mindset of young and old people but once again, like anything else, its a “choice” to be conditioned to that. No one who listens to jazz,dresses, emulates, and behaves circumstantial to jazz. If you have nothing in your hard, you’ll believe its okay to drink the sand. Its even worse when you cannot tell the difference.Women are the same way. It is not a “all-male”fault. If you voluntarily open your legs, you are just as much fault as the man.That goes for this mad black women attitude. Not getting married and not forming good,solid families will be the black downfall of the century for generations to come economically, spiritually, physically, so what legacy are you leaving?

  67. Dr.CandiOBelle

    On March 15, 2012 at 12:58 pm

    By the way, I “am”a black, heterosexual, dark-skinned British-born
    man(not male with just the anatomy) who believes in ethics,honor, and character. I have never been to prison, I have never raped or stole,I have never dated a black woman,(3) college degrees to include a law degree and it is true, yes I like women, I’m a man, but my choices and my geographics haven’t afforded me the opportunity.Yes there is an 8 to 1 ratio of women in Atlanta, but that ONLY refers to anatomy and NOT QUALITY! I decided to fly to Brazil to find what I was looking for. I avoided the extra-baggage that comes with paying for hair, nails,cars,mistakes,bail-bonds,etc.

  68. susan

    On May 28, 2012 at 5:06 pm

    I really don’t understand why some black men THINK all black women are after Black men- FYI- not true. Black women wise up- date outside – leave the weakest link alone…

    Sisters Unite.. I totally aggree.

  69. bebejamesjr

    On June 4, 2012 at 12:54 pm

    500 years later (2005)®
    you can find it on PBS. Available on line.
    Much of what is being ask and many
    comments made can be address if you’re not looking
    for a quick answer. Research history the parts that isn’t advertised
    and stop being mislead more in your future.
    Once you know why. it will change your entire perspective in the way you think, live
    and hopefully clarify a change in direction of you knowing.
    What to do about it, from that point forward
    The truth depending on how deep your research is for the whole truth
    should make you seek answer for other unanswered lies you’ve been
    longing for. Ask the right source. Because the truth isn’t just going to
    fall in your lap.

  70. KC

    On November 27, 2012 at 1:17 am

    I am a black woman and I so happened to have been raised by my father who is black. I don’t it’s fair to put all women or all men in one category. But I will speak for myself and say I don’t have respect for any man (black, white, or whatever) who brings a child or children in this world and does acknowledge or chooses not to be apart of that child’s life cause simply put, no child asked to come here. I was very fortunate to have my father in my life whos was responsible. I think that alot of women don’t feel the respect from black men because over time they have continued to be mistreated by them. We’re not all nagging, demanding and quick to accuse someone of cheating, but from the last relationship I was in, just the contray, I completely trusted my ex and he betrayed me in the worst way possible. I don’t look at all black men the same (negatively) but I do use caution when dealing with any man nowadays!

  71. KC

    On November 27, 2012 at 1:20 am

    I am a black woman and I so happened to have been raised by my father who is black. I don’t think it’s fair to put all women or all men into one category. But I will speak for myself and say I don’t have respect for any man (black, white, or whatever) who brings a child or children into this world and does acknowledge or chooses not to be apart of that child’s life cause simply put, no child asked to come here. I was very fortunate to have my father in my life who was responsible. I think that alot of women don’t feel the respect from black men because over time they have continued to be mistreated by them. We’re not all nagging, demanding and quick to accuse someone of cheating, but from the last relationship I was in, just the contray, I completely trusted my ex and he betrayed me in the worst way possible. I don’t look at all black men the same (negatively) but I do use caution when dealing with any man nowadays!

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