Why Black Women Do Not Respect Black Men
Another perpspective asserted that black women are not as domesticated and docile as white women and that black women do not know how to treat their men. One writer states that black women have gargantuan desires, expectations and wishes of their men and when their anticipations are not met, they make their spouses lives miserable.
Why Black Women do not respect Black Men?
If you asked a black man why he decided to be with a Caucasian woman as oppose to a woman of his own ethnicity; these are the likely responses that you will receive.
Black women are bossy, quarrelsome, nagging, disrespectful, ungrateful and conceited…
And the list goes on and on and on…
But what is the real rationale behind the contempt with which black women regard their men?
It is simply that black men before and during our time have eroded any iota of reverence that women had for them. Some men claim that black women are disrespectful to their men!
Another perspective asserted that black women are not as domesticated and docile as white women and that black women do not know how to treat their men. One writer states that black women have gargantuan desires, expectations and wishes of their men and when their anticipations are not met, they make their spouses lives miserable.
The denigration of the black man’s image and relevance dates back to the socialization of the black woman. I can remember as a child that my mother told my sisters and i to avoid relationships with black men because such unions would bring irreparable, emotional damage to my life. She asserted that they would impregnate, abuse, ill treat and abandon me.
My mother contended that black men were irresponsible fathers, substandard caregivers, cheap breadwinners (if any at all), lousy husbands and mates. She contended that they were the worst communicators and lacked the capacity to compromise, reason without violence and to be civil.
Ha ha! Tough luck!
To be frank with you, my mother has been proven right thus far. I have been with two black men and they were complete disappointments. Some people say that i am associating with the wrong type of black men. But my exes were mature (in its sociological and physiological sense), successful, college graduates and drove Mercedes. They were not ebony black. They had the phenotype of Chris Brown (befitting analogy). They were the creme de la creme of the black population and that their education would have engendered some changes in their thought processes and general behaviors but obviously not.
It is difficult for any woman to respect black men when most (I said most not all my detractors) are not standing up to their responsibilities. I do not respect or regard a man who does not take care of his family or exhibits conduct that are worthy of emulations by my children. A man who refuses to take care of his children or even to acknowledge paternity for his offspring should be ostracized.
Conclusively, the reason why women do not respect black men is because they do not respect themselves. They possess little knowledge and understanding of what their roles are within a family. They do not understand that when they conceive a child, that it does not end there and that they should be part of its upbringing and maintenance. Most black men are in part sperm donors and bed room racklers. They brag about the scores of children that they have dispersed with several women under the misguided notion that such acts denotes good fatherhood. Black men treat their women like therapy valves made for venting their inadequacies and insecurities in the form of loud arguments and abusive statements.
Our men have disappointed us. To be honest the only reason why we even cohort with them is because of our primal mammalian need to have sex and our instinctual desire for companionship.
We do not have many viable recourse since a good black man is hard to find. Who wants to risked being alone?
We settle for these substandard behavior and men get the impression that it is OK to behave like that. The theory has always been simple, silent means consent. When Women do not disavow misdeeds, men perpetrate those relational faux in our society. When women embraced those standards,Men believe that they are acceptable.
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User Comments
Curious Kitty
On August 28, 2009 at 4:46 pm
Utilizing some basic grammar would have made the article a far more easy read.
I certainly see your point, however. To take this a step further, I’ll add that even most black female strippers will not dance for black male customers.
James
On August 31, 2009 at 4:33 pm
I’ve made a study of this relationship between black men and women. I agree with what I think was said. (Proofreading anyone?) But I have seen and heard the black male opinion on black women. It is a two way street. A black woman who constantly accuses her beloved of infidelity ultimately gets exactly that. When the wages of good and evil are about the same, why treat her well?
I am not excusing anyone’s bad behavior, merely pointing out that theres no virgins in this brothel.
anon white girl
On August 31, 2009 at 9:32 pm
I have to say not all white women are docile little mice. Alot has to do with the fact that people always want what is different black or white. I also believe that color does not make a relationship succede,or fail. It also does not make a good husband or father it is the person who does all of that. The only consistent thing in all of your failed relationships is you remember that. and before the atacks start i have dated many other races and am currently engaged to my soul mae who happens to be west indian
Aarom
On September 3, 2009 at 3:57 pm
It’s a vicious circle. Black men beat and kill the women, black women beat and emasculate the men and both sexes raise their children to be vicious predators. Domination and agression are the core personality traits of blacks.
Der Nonkonformist
On September 3, 2009 at 6:57 pm
Aarom, what a racist statement, one may say. Of course, that one may just need to look at statistics and social behavior in predominantly black neighborhoods and one will see how right you are.
My neighborhood used to be predominantly white and just changed recently when the government decided to move “socially disadvantaged” people in. The only police officer we ever saw was our neighbor, but meanwhile we have many police cars in our neighborhood on a weekly basis; mostly due to black inter-marital problems, because either the husband beat his wife or the wife screamed at the husband like there would be no tomorrow. So far, I am not even mentioning the constant investigations because the children of those relationships show their naturally delinquent behavior by destroying other people’s property or by simply mugging them.
Incidentally, more apartments and houses in this neighborhood become vacant (white flight), whereas the government puts more of these specimen in the vacant places, which further escalates the situation.
crystal evans
On September 5, 2009 at 2:53 am
when i wrote this article i must admit that i never expected it to get the level of reviews it has recieved especially the comments that i have read by others who have copied my article onto other sites such as American Renassaince News and Slate. i am from Jamaica. Therefore my dialect is not grammar english but rather a patois or pidgin.My MOTHER TONGUE IS mixture of english spanish and afrikaana english. For anyone who has heard that Jamaica is an english speaking country, come to Jamaica and listen to the chatter of the natives and see if you can understand a word they are saying! I know that saying that english is not my mother tongue does not excuse the ‘atrocious grammar’ in article. I will ensure that i get my articles proofread the next time. additionally i need to point out that i am not racist. i do not have a problem with men, white or black. it is just that i am sick and tired of seeing black men behave in a manner that Martin Luther King and our Jamaican Marcus Garvey would have denounced.
I was simple expressing how i felt after growing up in a country where black men are abusive, irresponsible and disrespectful to women. My article was directed more at my experiences and knowledge of Jamaican Black Men.
The comment that my mother made about marrying a white was just what Jamaican calls ‘Belly full Chat”.
I never meant to insult anyone!
TYRESE
On September 5, 2009 at 3:18 am
CRYSTAL DO NOT WORRY ABOUT THE CRITICISM. IT IS ALL APART OF THE WRITING AND PUBLISHING PROCESS. YOUR DETRACTORS AND CRITICS MUST BE CONSIDERED AS ADVISORS. THEY DO NOT KNOW THAT YOU ARE JUST A TWENTY YEAR OLD JAMAICAN WHO HAS NEVER STEPPED FOOT OFF YOUR TINY ISLAND IN THE CARIBBEAN SEA. THEY DO NOT UNDERSTAND THAT YOU ARE JUST A KID TRYING TO FIGURE THE WORLD OUT.
I KNOW THAT AS YOU GET OLDER AND MORE MATURE THAT YOUR ARTICLES WILL GET BETTER. I HAVE READ OTHER ARTICLES FROM HER AND THEY DO NOT HAVE BAD GRAMMAR! I DO NOT KNOW WHAT HAPPENED HERE! SHE PROBABLY WROTE THIS AS AN AFTERTHOUGHT! I SEE HER POINT THOUGH!
GET AN EDITOR NEXT TIME AND ALWAYS PROOFREAD YOUR WORK!
KEEP DOING YOUR THING !
AS WE SAY IN JAMAICA
DO NOT WATCH THE NOISE OF THE MARKET BUT TUNE IN FE WE CORRECT CHANGE!
david
On September 5, 2009 at 12:23 pm
i cannot understand why a black women would write something like this. you are right she must be inedeed a child. but i do sympathise with her plight. she has obviously dated some asholes black men. what i do not understand though is why everyone is taking an innocent article written by an adolosecent and turining it into something else. if you have a point write your own article and do not bash others
Rocky
On September 6, 2009 at 7:28 pm
Typical hypocrisy. Somehow, her personal subjective view on what made two men she dated “disappointments” somehow proves her mother right. I can give far more personal examples to “prove” right so many negative things said about black women.
Lets break it down:
Conclusively, the reason why women do not respect black men is because they do not respect themselves.
No actually, black women do respect black men, but tend to respect the more thuggish bad boys while overwhelmingly showing little respect to the good guys who are sensitive to them and their own role in the family.
They possess little knowledge and understanding of what their roles are within a family.
Actually, they have had their roles ripped from them by over aggressive, mentally masculinized black women who see being women to their men as something demeaning.
They do not understand that when they conceive a child, that it does not end there and that they should be part of its upbringing and maintenance.
And what so many black women don’t understand is that the likelihood of a man being a part of his or her children’s lives drops substantially when the man has no relationship with his children’s mother. Research has shown that all things being equal economically, black men are more likely to be in their children’s lives when not with the mothers than white men who are similarly not with the mothers of their children. It’s just that white women are far less likely to allow themselves to be impregnated by men that have made no commitment to them.
Most black men are in part sperm donors and bed room racklers. They brag about the scores of children that they have dispersed with several women under the misguided notion that such acts denotes good fatherhood. Black men treat their women like therapy valves made for venting their inadequacies and insecurities in the form of loud arguments and abusive statements.
If that is the case, then most black women are bedroom racklers and sperm receptacles. They are more than willing to have multiple children unwed by multiple men under the misguided notion than such acts denote good motherhood. And the TRUTH is that black women treat their men like “therapy valves made for venting their inadequacies and insecurities in the form of loud arguments and abusive statements”. This is where the black woman/bad attitude stereotype comes in. Black men overwhelmingly try to avoid arguments with black women. Clearly you are simply making things up.
Our men have disappointed us. To be honest the only reason why we even cohort with them is because of our primal mammalian need to have sex and our instinctual desire for companionship.
No. The reason you date us is because you like us and the very behavior that you see coming from us is directly the result of you liking such behavior. Our women have disappointed us.
We do not have many viable recourse since a good black man is hard to find. Who wants to risked being alone?
Many black men are willing to risk being alone because a good black woman is hard to find.
We settle for these substandard behavior and men get the impression that it is OK to behave like that.
No, you show attraction to such substandard behavior which does give the impression that it is OK to behave like that (it’s called thug luv).
The theory has always been simple, silent means consent. When Women do not disavow misdeeds, men perpetrate those relational faux in our society. When women embraced those standards,Men believe that they are acceptable.
One of the only true statements you make, but it is more than silent consent, but rather actual attraction to these misdeeds.
crystal
On September 8, 2009 at 9:36 am
the truth is simple this black men give women the idea that they are going to committ to them in exchange for sex. the relationship moves into anupward trust realm and the woman (foolishly and naively) assumes that there is some logevity to the relationships. she begins the have sex with the man and she gets pregnant. does that make her a sperm receptacle. i want to know why black men think it is ok for them to always lay the blame for black women having multiple fatherless children at the feet of solely black women. i do understand that our women must have some sort of personal responsibility(since they r the ones who are physically affected by pregnancy) but it takes two persons to make a baby. therefore both parents should be accountable for an unwanted pregnancy.
additionally i am not attracted to thugs! i do not like thugs. i prefer my black men, intelligent, career oriented and relationally mature.
devon
On September 11, 2009 at 3:04 pm
well it happens on both side. black men make their womens life miserable and women do the same thing
jessica smith
On September 13, 2009 at 8:51 am
i can honestly say i have my own reasons for disliking black men ,and yes it may be true that not all black men are bad and disrespectful etc. but if i had to think about them on a percentage scale, from what ii seen and from most of the ones iv spoken to in my entire life im going to have to say 7 out of 10! you run into, you probably wont like for some reason.
Charlses
On September 13, 2009 at 11:28 pm
Well Jessica, I will say that from what I’ve seen, 9 out of 10 black women your run into, you probably won’t like for some reason.
Lynette
On September 14, 2009 at 6:44 pm
Having read the article I find that it saddens me to the point we are entertaining these sentiments. Young Ms. is seemingly addressing stereotypes. Just as every other race (ethnicity) can say one thing or another about the male/ female relationships we have yet another blasting of black on black relationships. The foundation to any relationship is love, trust and honesty- none of which were addressed as characteristics of a good man/woman. In this instant gratification- disposable society what is lasting in a relationship? If you seek merely the superficiality of a relationship that is what you get- a man or woman stripped of their possessions what are you left with? Materialism has replaced quality.
The common bond that threads us together is tearing us apart and that is simply being black. As long as we subscribe to the stereotypes this will be an issue within our community. Until we stop pointing fingers at each other how can you understand each other without understanding self? There is so much more beneath the surface of questions, comments and answers to black on black relationships we can go on and on. I can say for certain relationships are more than just superficial (color, looks, money and, sex)… You can only get what you give…Respect starts in the mirror…
anonymousmale1
On September 17, 2009 at 4:06 pm
I liked your article for several reasons and the main one being it encourages dialog. I know it took some courage to write this article because as a writer myself I often wonder what the fallout will be. If you look beyond the negative responses you will see that this is definately a topic that needs to be addressed and regardless of the responses you captured your audiences attention. For the time they took to read this article they had to look deep inside themselves and the men in the Black community, they might not have liked what they saw but they looked at it through your words. Please keep writing and I will promise to visit often. I hope you do not mind but I would like to include your site in my blogroll. Hopefully some of my African American female readers will discover your talents and topics and be as moved as I was.
Thank You.
Tshidiso Medupe
On September 21, 2009 at 2:04 am
The secret is in openness: When a relationship starts the other party already knows the key reason while the other doesn’t. There could be reasons to that: valid or invalid. The actual birth of this relationship could be wanting to have sex but instead “I love you” is used instead of “Hi, I am sexually attracted to you and would like to have sex with you for a while and not a long term relationship and will be available for you should the similar need arise from side in the near future”. or “Hi, I saw this nice bag in shop x and would like you to buy it for me, I can not promise to pay you back though”. Then pending on the receipient the answer may be “Yes/No enacted politely so in turn. Maybe things would have been much better.
The other problem is what do we do when we grow out of love? It is easy to tell if you are growing out of love: Love is said to be blind and when you begin to see things that you previously had no problem with know that you are now growing out of love. Do you tell or do you start your own parade of tantrums which will elicit disrespect? Should you take time to investigate what drove you out of love and decide if you can live with it? Or do you rather feel its best you bounce? How about you tell them.
The other rule states opposites attracts: If in an argument both of you are high then it does not help. If peace is what you want, calm down, grab a glass of water and talk them to your level. Sometimes it helps to apologize for things you did not do for the sake of peace and sometimes your being soft is misinterpreted as being guilty or scared.
What fills your mind fills your acts, if you engage with someone and you handle them on the basis of what you have been told about them it often comes out in your act they end up being the beast that you were always afraid to see. Start on a clean sheet and put your mind right to build something special with someone. Talk it through as you go along, don’t digest alone in your own corner and come with conclusion it usually elicit the same results. Talk about everything, don’t ridicule your partner in public and when you do it in private try to build them. This is not easy as it tends to be misinterpreted as lack of appreciation. Remove all triggers from your mind i.e. if your partner fails you, don’t react on the basis of what happened in your past life but rather treat this in isolation of your past as it may drive your partner to feel the cracks of your broken heart.
I wish to go on and on but time is of the essence. Love yourself better and know how to put what you want in words that are less offensive and more welcoming for those who join your to find their path in seeing you through it. But above all know when to say GOODBYE.
“Le ojwa le sa le metsi.”
CRYSTAL EVANS
On September 21, 2009 at 4:52 pm
WOW TSHIDISO THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL… WISH MORE PPL THOUGHT LIKE U
devon smith
On September 23, 2009 at 2:40 pm
Typical black femal thinking, it is obvious that the female who wrote this has been brainwashed by the typical matriarchs who themselves were unsucessful in creating, maintaning and desiring a long lasting loving relationship with a black male. So they taught there daughter to engaging in destructuve thinking and acts towards black men. Mercedes, college educated…so that is all what your measuring stick is for a father and husband. No wonder 85% of black women are single, promiscous and miserable. Black females are so backwards in their thinking. Theses females have no understanding of reality in that they think they are perfect therfore they desrve perfection. What should be of utmost importanc eis family structure, values and commitment. These black females have no idea of this. All other races females value commitment, love, respect, rearing kids in families…not black females, there desires and values revolve around cars, shopping, sistahood, and oprah. Black men do yourself a favor, date other races becuase black females are a waist of time!!1
paperbag
On September 26, 2009 at 12:10 am
First I would like to say that GOD created man and woman to worship him and not each other. Wether you are Muslim, Christian, Jew, or any faith that you follow. there is a need for one to RESPECT another. You must fear GOD and contain certain emotions, and not allow them to run amuck!! Words are powerful, and by design we interpet life and situations very diffrent. So the root of my concern is where did the respect go?
Lloyd
On September 29, 2009 at 2:56 pm
I respect and appreciate the experience and opinion held here… but woman who believe their are no good black men around need to think about it seriously many because black man would say the same thing about black woman,
AT THE END OF THE DAY like attracts like. the people you put up with in life are normally at the same level of maturity, intelligence or wavelength ect as you ,or they at least reflect the circumstances you develop your relationship under , if you meet at a club , or he was just your booty call , and all you done was to have sex on every encounter.. Don’t expect much.
Return to old fashions values you cant go wrong – at least get to know him, do more then just have sex build a relationship find common interests and hobbies, experience life together
too many woman are to quick let it up to man before getting to know them , it sounds bad but woman need to have greater respect for their bodies and take time to develop meaning relationships before in get in to bed with a man. You don’t know.
We all need to develop at greater love for each other black man and woman should not be at war with each other , as a community we need more personal development to heal the years of damage which was during slavery and the damage which our current ignorance in inflicting on ourselves
Nita
On September 29, 2009 at 3:43 pm
To Devon: Typical Black Female? Do you know most Black Females? It’s stereotypes like these that get in the way of having any decent relationships between us. I have been rejected by men like you because of their own ignorance and fear based on negative stereotypes of Black women. Now, after the fact those same men who once rejected me are tryin to crawl back once they realize just how good of a woman I am. All of the hardships, abuse (sexually, mentally, emtionally) I’ve endured has been at the hands of men who are Black. Also, these horrible acts where when I was a minor by adult black men. Still with my past I do not hold those issues against every Black man. How did we start lumping “All black women, All Black men” into one box based on the bad behavior of a few? Most times, when someone treats you badly it’s because they are hurting and don’t know any better. There needs to be a lot of healing in our community.
Oh and Devon, Just to add…….
My best Friend is White, and she is the meanest chick in a romantic relationship you would want to meet. She’s controlling, demeaning, demanding, materialistic and is NOT faithful what so ever! And get this…..SHE ONLY DATES BLACK MEN!!! Black men who think like you to be exact. They don’t look at her shady history and decide NOT to date her, it’s okay with them as long as she’s NOT black. We laugh about this all the time as a matter of fact she takes their money and buy things for my son who is her Godson. They’re never in short supply either which is fun for her I guess. She often tells me, “Nita, you need to be a B*TCH!!. You’re one of the best women I know and all these guys will past you up to be with me.” Ahhh yes…..15 years of knowing my best friend since we were little girls. I know her history and why she is that way, but it never fails to amaze me how ridiculous and hateful people can be.
Khw
On October 2, 2009 at 10:15 am
This post is horrible and demeaning to the black realtionship. I know PLENTY of good black men who take care of their child(ren) eventhough they are not with the mother. I could easily have the same view as was mentioned, since my boys father do not take care of them, but it is just simply, not true. We base our views on what we have gone through and what we have been taught through friends and/or at home and sometimes we need to open our eyes and see past the negativity instilled in us and pray for a higher understanding of relationships and people (especially US, black people)! We have been made, through society, to look down on the black race, and not support our goals/dreams. This way we would not be allowed to grow as a people. We were taught that we are worthless and do not amount to much eventhough the US was built on the backs of our ancestors. Why keep proving them right with this thinking and start being proud of OUR black men and women… When we change our outlook, we change our life and the lives of others…
Black love is beautiful!
Do your research!
marciel
On October 13, 2009 at 1:05 am
All I can say is wow!!!!!!!!!!! Are you for real Do you think that black men are the only race of men who screw around make, father illigitamate choldren, and beat there wives? The reality is we are the only ones who air our dirty laundry to all who want to know. OH and dont forget that the same women who are complaining about these no account black keep i say again keep finding there selves on their backs with some new no account black man putting illigitamate baby number four in there womb. Remember that glass house that we all live in and leave the stones where they lie.
TYRESE
On October 20, 2009 at 10:56 am
wow KHW…I CAN SEE THAT ur were incensed by the post..why r u denying this reality… we all know that black women outnumber thier dark skin male counterparts in the universities. we all know that black men are almost always absentee father, we all know that the prisons are overrun with black men…we all know that schools with predominantly black populations rarely do well in exams when it comes to amount of passes…those schools tend to be overriden with gangbangers and young ho’s… we all know that black ppl according to MARCIEL hang their irty laundry out to see the… the post was very enlighteening..beleive me it was full time somene adressed this issue.. it definitely brought the racist, negritude and critics and mavericks out in full swing… everyone seems to be defending their backsides. apparently Khw U R THE ONE WHO NEEDS TO DO UR RESEARCH!!!! THE POST DID NOT SAY ALL BLACK MEN WERE BAD..IT SAID WHY BLACK WOMEN DO NOT RESPECT BLACK MEN…JUST A YOUNG WOMAN CURIOUS TO KNOW WHAT WE THINK AND TO TELL US WHAT SHE HAS THOUGHT ABOUT THE TOPIC SO FAR… SOME PEOPLE JUST APPARENTLY TOOK THIS AS A VALVE TO VENT THEIR DISGUST AND BIASIS. THE POST ISNT HORRIBLE BUT MOST OF THE COMMENTS R WITH THIER SEXISM, RACIAL SLURS AND BLACK DENIGRATION..
mike
On November 30, 2009 at 5:10 pm
It seem to be that some black men and women may still suffer from some efects of slavery in one form or another with the way they are with each other inrelationships But at this late date there is so mush infomation about black history that one ( man or women )should know ones position in an relationship as a man or a women in this american society. Men and woman that respect and are responsible for one self, ones household, childen and community, also knowing the attributes of what a men/women is or should be and defind that with ones needs are in a relationship, black and white men and woman may have more love for one another.
Jim-Brad
On December 7, 2009 at 12:58 pm
I’m ebony black(and at 56,considered a classically handsome Canadian lad)and most black women are fat,fugly,b***hy or all three,plus they believe themselves irresistible and worthy of wealthy and/or rich men.In short,too many of these porkers are full of themselves(and crap.)
However,big hair,big boob,leggy black head-banger and/or
biker babes,cowgirls,U.K. lasses and Caribbean “birds” are my
ideal babes!!!!(especially dark-skinned ones!!!!)
Anonymous
On December 17, 2009 at 11:31 pm
A grown woman should not be looking for a “protector, provider, or security” from a man. Babies need protection, to be provided for, and security. The spoiled baby with an attitude mad because men don’t want to take of her needs to go have a seat somewhere. Men don’t owe women anything. And no one cares what the dumb American woman thinks about men. Black women are running around with AIDS and other STDs.
Eliza
On December 18, 2009 at 10:12 pm
Because of stupid shit like this forum!!!
Blackgirlkeepingitreal
On December 26, 2009 at 1:49 am
I can honestly say that white men are just as worse in a diffrent way. As a black women I had a friend that was an excort and also worked as a phone sex operator. (Don’t dis credit me yet) During my encounter with my friend she had told me some horrific things of the nature of Anglo Saxon white American men. She stated after I had shared my disappointment with her toward how black men act, That “Girl trust me white guys are worst”! I was shocked and might I add eagerly to commence further in our conversation. She continued to tell me that as someone in the sex industry she had had a lot of white male regulars. She basically told me that all white american men were basically in the closet about their true sexual orientation. These white guys wanted services like, Seeing their wives have sex with a straping black guy, beastiality, Dominatix fetishes, pissed on, defficated on and all these weird things trust me that you coul’nt even come up with. Not to mention white guys have unrealistic goals when it comes to women like their women have to stay in shape and young. They also make their wives sleep with their friends and a LOT of them have pediphilla tendencies. She told me “Girl after I had my experience with wm I now know why white women are running”. I told her not all wm could be like that. After stating that she had had over 2,000 regular callers from her phone sex job and 17 regulars in her excort job I knew that she knew what she was talking about. Black women keep thinking that most white women are “Taking” black men to spite us but the truth is these women are going though psycological issues caused by the wm’s sexual perversion and unrealistic beauty expectations and they are FEED UP! The white man has but white women on a pedastal in terms of her physical features but he makes it apparent that once she gets old or fat she is very very devalued in the white community.In the end the white women knows that a black man will apreciate her more even though he may abuse her mentally or physically she knows that deep down inside this black man apreciates her and worships her like a goddess because she knows and a lot of black men know that the black man really does not see “Fat” or “old”. All he sees is white. Do not underestimate that fact that most white women are in fact not aware of the black man’s disfunctuality and self contiouness of himself.They are in fact aware of it and when they are not able to get a white man they will take full advantage of the fact that this black man worships her skin. If you are a white women over 40 and or either overweight, your chances with a white man may well be over but your ablity to get a black man has just began. You may have some white women who chase after black men married and single out of spite and recentment for the black women (For various reasons) but most just want to be apreciated for being a women.
SPC. Jesmond A Russ
On January 12, 2010 at 9:28 am
I think your mind is clouded. First of all, I am a 23 yr old african american male. It is people like you that cause black men to lean towards the opposite race female. I am married and have two beautiful kids and take care of all of them very well. I became a father at the age of 21 and knew what i had to do in order to provide for my new family. I stepped up and done better than most 40 yr old black men. I am in the process of buying my own house and have two vehicles already paid for and an 800 credit score. So before u try to compare every black man to the one’s you deal with you might want to look within your self and find out what is wrong with you that has u constantly attracting no good black men as you say. The problem might not be the men it just might be you.
karen
On January 18, 2010 at 8:39 pm
I am a young black female and I am engaged to someone who is not black. I live in the Caribbean also so i have an idea of what the lady is referring to. Although I can’t speak for the U.S, I do know that black men in the Caribbean are usually disappointments. I can’t go so far as to say all of them but the vast majority are. I am older than the writer and i have a little more experience where men are concerned. My reason for getting married to someone outside of my race was not a racially motivated decision despite what some may think and I have been in relationships with black men before. Also I have observed relationships with black men and women of other races in my country and I can honestly say that there is a difference in the way they treat us and the way they treat the other types of women. They are more respectful, they work harder to provide for them, they are less abusive and most important they strive to earn their respect more. Though I am not an expert, it seems to me that the issue has a lot to do with the value they place on black women as a whole. I suppose in their eyes their self worth and their status is raised when they are with women of other races as opposed to when they are with black women so they work harder to maintain that status. Most of it has to do with the image the society places on black women as a whole. White is beautiful. straight hair is gorgeous, so that is what these men strive obtain with the misguided belief that society will respect them more for doing it.
It is sad that the author has been disillusioned so young because it has made her a bit cynical I think but most of you all are not from our world so you have no right to judge her until you experience that life for yourself. Everything is different out here in the Caribbean and sorry to say that even though slavery was abolished physically it still exists in the mindset of our people out here.
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