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Why Many Male Virgins are Obnoxious

The virginity is a result of the obnoxious behavior, but where did the behavior come from?

There are people who are openly, even proudly virginal. This has nothing to do with them. Obviously retaining an ignorance of the sex act is am individual’s personal business. If it suits your aesthetic and/or religious belief, cool. There now exists a certain slight glamor associated with male virginity that did not exist anywhere in our culture 20 years ago. For it to have this very slight glamor, though, it has to be because you are a socially awkward geek with nerdy obsessions and (technical) skills, not because you are just too unattractive and too broke to afford to pay for sex. It has to have an aura of “having better things to do with your time”, otherwise it’s just pathetic.

There is the Internet for the socially awkward, there is the fact that the majority of women are more “sexually liberated” than at anytime in human history. There are many ways to meet women who might be interested in you, no matter how unpalatable you are. If you are an adult virgin, and your virginity is not a conscious decision, you are quite possibly the most pathetic person who ever lived. Here is what might be keeping you that way:

Absurdly High Standards

Otherwise known as “sour grapes”. (Reluctant) male virgins need excuses for why they are not getting any. These are not excuses to other people, but firstly to themselves. As with all human problems it’s always somebody else’s fault. For these guys it’s the fault of the women around them for being too dumb, too fat, too prissy, too, too slutty, too everything, and that’s they won’t approach them.

Intense, Wild, Overly-Exuberant Lust

Sometimes trying too hard to get something can drive it away. I am pretty sure that most women find the intense, single-minded eagerness by an inexperienced man, unattractive. The smell of desperation from somebody seeking to throw off a burden completely distracts from any other assets that person may have. Apart from the fact that it makes actually getting sex that much more difficult, there is would much pressure that even if she did actually grant the wish, it probably would not work out the way it did in your fantasies.

An Understanding of Sex Coming Entirely from Porn

This will come up in discussions about women and sex. If every reference they use is from something you have seen on a screen that almost never happens in real life, you can be pretty certain that they have never seen or touched a real live naked woman. For one thing, the sexual positions in porn are chosen for efficient camera-work, not for maximum pleasure. The sex in porn is not like real sex at all, and can be both intimidating and raise expectations to unrealistic levels.

General Misogyny

Which is not to say that all misogynists are virgins, but most reluctant virgins tend to hate women. They already assume they are going to be rejected, and spend their time making mental retorts. To make the sting of the imagined rejection softer they have to objectify women as much as possible. Reducing them to an amalgam of orifices makes their rejection, trivial, easier to take. Nobody cares if they are rejected by an air-headed sex-object. Of course, this doesn’t work, nothing softens the blows, but they keep trying, till eventually, even after they are no longer virgins, they have no way to connect to women, or to see them as equals.

Thinking Cartoons are “Aexy”

It’s a drawing. It was invented the mind of somebody else (most likely a guy) and drawn. You cannot have sex with it. For virgins the line between sex and fantasy sex get blurred so that everything exists in the imagination. If you find yourself longing after graphics on your computer screen or in a comic book, you need to find some real-world interaction. You are on your way to a life of permanent frustration.

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  1. blessed71588

    On March 31, 2009 at 5:34 pm


    lol i like it

  2. d

    On April 1, 2009 at 12:51 am


    *phew*, good thing I am a socially awkward geek with nerdy obsessions and skills, otherwise I would be the most pathetic person who ever lived.

  3. ap

    On April 9, 2009 at 4:26 am


    haha .. great article..

  4. Mark Plus

    On April 18, 2009 at 7:29 pm


    I don’t know why people find male virginity so strange. Women have the veto power, after all.

  5. MiniKirk

    On April 23, 2009 at 4:26 pm


    The author of this article is a douche. Seriously. Getting laid is harder than he thinks. And who the HELL is he to criticize someone just because they lack the ability to get laid? Sounds like SOMEONE is pissed off at a group of people, for no reason.

  6. Sarah

    On June 2, 2009 at 7:25 pm


    MiniKirk: I seriously doubt this guy’s article is the definitive source on male virginity. Just chill and take a joke.

  7. Disgusted

    On July 6, 2009 at 2:50 am


    Nick, I am appalled by your attitude. Your article reeks of contempt and meanness. You have no compassion or empathy for others. I can imagine you kicking the wheelchair away from a handicapped person and telling them “walk you lazy sod”.

    I am a male incel myself. Incel is short for involuntary celibate and a virgin in middle age. I suffer from anxiety and shyness which has precluded intimacy with women.

    Maybe with time you will grow a heart and increase your understanding of other. Maybe you will learn not to think in stereotypes. I refer in particular to the stupid generalisation “but most reluctant virgins tend to hate women.” Maybe you’ve just had a bad day with your boss barking at you and you will regret the mean hearted stuff you have written.

  8. mike smith

    On August 22, 2009 at 2:35 pm


    To all men out there—here is my advice. Start your dating career early as you can. Be at your best. Do a makeover on hair, clothes, shoes etc. Invest in yourself. Develop social skills and learn to be available. Stop hiding from the competition–it only gets harder as you get older. The good ones do go first.
    Ask a girl twice, if it’s no twice, move on. Never take any crap from a woman. Be sure you want to do this. Sex is NOT the only thing dating is about. It’s about finding the right partner for YOU. Finally, you will age out of the dating world fast. The window closes on guys about 30-35. After 40 it’s over unless you like leftovers or misfits, single moms, and divorcees. None of them will make you happy in the long run. Be careful, don’t get someone pregnant, and have fun. If it’s not fun, then stop dating and be happy being single.

  9. Tom Gibson

    On September 7, 2009 at 12:56 am


    Viginity is not a condition to be cured of. It’s what happens to you if you don’t act decisively and work at finding a partner. Nature doesn’t want everyone to reproduce, so sadly some folks are genetically flawed from the start. I was, and it never changed over time. Even money didn’t help me do better in the dating world. Status and looks usually get a woman’s interest first. The mistake there is those things are only temporary.
    You can’t keep your looks forever. Status can change too. The only enduring thing to seek is personality and values. In this culture that won’t get you laid however. Good luck, and be in charge of your sex life.

  10. MJ Nicholls

    On November 27, 2009 at 1:47 pm


    Speaking as a member of Loveshy.com, I find this article repellant in the extreme. WOMEN are the problem. They are too choosy. To materialsitic. Men are now the weaker sex.

  11. Ian Wiseman

    On January 26, 2010 at 10:29 am


    As a virgin (male) of 45 years old I can tell you that there is no shame in not being sexually experienced. I’m not religious, nor am I hideously ugly – although I don’t think I’m good looking either. I haven’t had a girlfriend since I was in my very early teens but that is my choice. I’ve been asked out by women – even by one that I really liked but inside I just don’t feel that sex or relationships are right for me. I prefer to be single and live on my own. Good luck to the guys who have wonderful relationships and can’t live without someone to share their lives (and bedroom) with. I’m happy to have a double bed to myself.

  12. john tzikas

    On May 31, 2010 at 12:28 am


    This is terrible what does this guy know. If anything I have too much respect for women. I am so lonely I can scream. I am not a virgin but its been so long I may as well be one. Sometimes I think I am just going to ask 100 women out and see what flies and than my shyness and fear of rejection take over. Women may be more liberated than ever but men still do the asking. The two or 3 times I was approached in a bar(not a haven for meeting people) it worked out depressingly. You think if I’m the subway a women will talk to me unlikely. I am a very well rounded and fairly attractive guy- just starting to bald but never in better shape. I have written emails on dating sights and no response or very little. Women are picky too. It sucks out there it is a hopeless entity. I cry myself to sleep I am so alone sometimes and parental pressure to get married doesn’t help . F you jackass. JT

  13. M Nicholls

    On September 7, 2010 at 3:37 am


    I am NOT obnoxious. I am polite and well mannered. I endevour (despite the lifetime of contempt THEY have heaped upon me) to treat women with courtesy whenever I interact with them. I will be the first to admit I do not socialise, and it is BECAUSE of the way I am invariably treated by other poeople that I stay away from the social scene.

    It is true that I do carry a lot of anger and resentment inside me. But, rather than let it destroy me, I am now concentrating on getting a business off the ground, and when I have enough money, I intend to pay for sex. At least an escort is honest. She just wants your money.

  14. Mike S.

    On October 5, 2010 at 5:35 pm


    In the end I think a lot of women will end up lonely because they were too stupid or foolish to date and marry normal decent guys. It may take many years for them to discover this basic truth about life: no one stays young forever, a good man is hard to find at any age, and it gets harder as you get older, and
    the decent normal guy will appreciate a great girl far more than studs do. Read the book Marry Him by Lori Gottlieb ladies.
    Virginity has so much shame attached to it in this culture.
    In truth nature often decides your level of physical attraction to the opposite sex. If you don’t come in the right physical package, you lose. It’s cruel and unfair, but on balance it’s best for all that nature wins here. You can’t have everyone paired up.
    The hard part is living with the loneliness. Feeling like an outcast is very hard, and age makes it harder. You always feel if you could change one or two things, your dating/sex life would improve. It won’t, and I tried everything to fix myself. Nothing worked. You are either attractive/desirable or you are not. There are many things in life far WORSE than being a lonely virgin. If you’re eating, have a place to live, a job, then you’re doing better than most of the planet. Keep your sexual woes to yourself, and get involved in outside interests. It will help you forget what is bothering you.

  15. Kevin

    On December 13, 2010 at 6:19 pm


    I’m pathetic then, I’m 20 with mild appearance and cry about being alone all the time. I cry in the shower, make short unsatisfying trips to the gym every week, and have never kissed a girl. I avoid other people in general because i find them intimidating or because they are happily coupled. I’m jealous of all my friends because every single one has a girlfriend or boyfriend. I’m in college, I think about suicide allot. I have looked for help, got ignored by the mental health clinic closest to me, etc.. forwarded to machines. Looked up ways to motivate me into being more provocative, can’t find anything. Can’t afford anything. I’m both homophobic and heterophobic with fears of almost everything. Still dependent of a hateful football father. etc.. etc.. I want to kill God my life really is a waste of effort etc.. Nobody ever talks to me, I have almost 0 friends, I eat alone everyday in the cafeteria. Looks aren’t an issue, but my personality is horrible, etc… God why am I such a horrible human being?

    I’m exactly what a girl can’t stand. A weak male unable to support her or himself.

  16. VirginHotMale

    On April 28, 2011 at 11:45 am


    Male virginity is bad and always will be no matter what anyone says, (particularly women), that is nature, the strong thrive the weak dive, sink or swim.

    Richard Branson is a twat.

  17. DuBistEinCabronUndPendejo

    On May 11, 2012 at 12:12 am


    Nick Brice wrote

    “There are people who are openly, even proudly virginal. This has nothing to do with them. Obviously retaining an ignorance of the sex act is am individual’s personal business. If it suits your aesthetic and/or religious belief, cool. There now exists a certain slight glamor associated with male virginity”

    HUH?

    Who are these people you claim ‘ openly, even proudly virginal.”
    and how old are they? In case you didn’t realize by your very own bigoted article as proven by juvenile stereotypes about what you think Virgins think but without a doubt from your statement ‘If you are an adult virgin, and your virginity is not a conscious decision, you are quite possibly the most pathetic person who ever lived.”, there is an incredible stigma against
    male virgins that only increases as you get older. Now what
    makes you think virgins don’t realize this? If they realize this
    then what % of virgins would really be up to advertising they
    are virgins especially if they are older you idiot?

    But damn are a prejudiced bigot or what. Making all kinds of wild reckless assumptions such as ‘but most reluctant virgins tend to hate women.”. Oh and you know this how? Did you
    do some polling on this? You know ‘most’ means larger than
    half so you would have to poll all “reluctant virgins”)(and how
    would you establish that they were “reluctant” even? How
    would you know if you conducted such a poll you would find all
    the “reluctant virgins” given the stigma virgins face?).

    The ultimate point here is your entire article Nick is just one massive orgasm of idiocy and bigotry.

    You know earlier today I was debating some right-wing idiot teabagging fleabagging peasant and thought damn what an
    idiot but then again he is right-wing dolt so whats new. Then
    your post comes along and you actually beat this right-wing
    teabagger in the idiocy department.

    Congragulations you stupid fucker. You made a post even
    more stupid than a right-wing teabagger. How does it feel?

  18. Eugen

    On May 28, 2012 at 10:23 pm


    Idiot thinks he found an even bigger idiot to bitch about.

  19. Eugen

    On May 28, 2012 at 10:23 pm


    Idiot thinks he found an even bigger idiot to bitch about.

  20. Eugen

    On May 28, 2012 at 10:23 pm


    Idiot thinks he found an even bigger idiot to bitch about.

  21. Eugen

    On May 28, 2012 at 10:23 pm


    Idiot thinks he found an even bigger idiot to bitch about.

  22. Eugen

    On May 28, 2012 at 10:23 pm


    Idiot thinks he found an even bigger idiot to bitch about.

  23. Eugen

    On May 28, 2012 at 10:23 pm


    Idiot thinks he found an even bigger idiot to bitch about.

  24. Eugen

    On May 28, 2012 at 10:23 pm


    Idiot thinks he found an even bigger idiot to bitch about.

  25. Mike S.

    On September 24, 2012 at 4:00 pm


    I recently retired. I’m 56, still a virgin, and still hoping to land a few more dates before 60. Last time I took out a girl was 11 yrs. ago. It was just lunch, and she made it pretty unpleasant.
    I posted a Craigslist personal ad in five cities–New Orleans, Boston, Miami, Houston, and Charleson SC. I only got one decent response from a 38 yr. old woman who wants to get married and have a family. Sorry–I’m too old for that. All the responses I did get were from porn spammers. My conclusion–50 plus guys have NO dating market in America. Don’t let yourself get too isolated or stop searching. I wish now I’d done that when I was younger. Age is a huge barrier to dating. Once you hit mid-40s or above, you find nothing out there.

  26. D

    On October 31, 2012 at 9:10 pm


    Why Many Male Non-Virgins are Obnoxious? Because they are stupid men who can’t grow up! They use women for sex, they don’t believe in safe sex, they feel they can over-populate the earth, and pass diseases to their partners! Oh! And they love to write forums to virgin-shaming people because it boost their stupid male egos!

  27. Mikey

    On November 1, 2012 at 11:53 am


    Thank you for the quote above, fuckwit.

  28. required

    On November 2, 2012 at 5:12 am


    Crude generalisations, I mean you can make the opposite case. Why men who get laid are arseholes.

    Take a guy I knew at work, he cheated on his pregnant girlfriend, was a bully who almost drove a guy who had taken months off for depression away from work again, and was a lazy useless all round bastard. He was also loved by women.

    Does that mean that all men who can get laid easily are like this? Of course not. Is the person who wrote the above the line article an idiot? Almost certainly.

  29. Tom

    On November 2, 2012 at 7:11 am


    This article consists of nothing but generalizations and shaming language. Have you ever considered that there are men who through no fault of their own have bad luck with women? I myself have Asperger Syndrome and it’s not like I asked to be born autistic.

    Despite trying my best to fit in and be ’social’ like neurotypicals (people without Asperger’s/autism), I have been rejected over and over again. And that’s not counting the ‘fuck-off’ look some girls have on their face before I even open my mouth.

    You mention paying for sex as a solution. Done that, but it hasn’t made me any better at communicating with women. They might as well be aliens with all their subtle social cues and hints. How am I going to respond to them if my brain is wired in a way that I don’t even see them? How am I going to get success when I get rejected solely for my lack of previous experience?

    And there I am, 22 and utterly clueless when it comes to attracting women. Paying prostitutes for it has so far proven to been the only solution since regular women keep their legs firmly shut for me.

  30. Tom

    On November 2, 2012 at 7:17 am


    This article consists of nothing but generalizations and shaming language. Have you ever considered that there are men who through no fault of their own have bad luck with women? I myself have Asperger Syndrome and it’s not like I asked to be born autistic.

    Despite trying my best to fit in and be ’social’ like neurotypicals (people without Asperger’s/autism), I have been rejected over and over again. And that’s not counting the ‘fuck-off’ look some girls have on their face before I even open my mouth.

    You mention paying for sex as a solution. Done that, but it hasn’t made me any better at communicating with women. They might as well be aliens with all their subtle social cues and hints. How am I going to respond to them if my brain is wired in a way that I don’t even see them? How am I going to get success when I get rejected solely for my lack of previous experience?

    And there I am, 22 and utterly clueless when it comes to attracting women. Paying prostitutes for it has so far proven to been the only solution since regular women keep their legs firmly shut for me.

  31. Tom

    On November 2, 2012 at 7:18 am


    This article consists of nothing but generalizations and shaming language. Have you ever considered that there are men who through no fault of their own have bad luck with women? I myself have Asperger Syndrome and it’s not like I asked to be born autistic.

    Despite trying my best to fit in and be ’social’ like neurotypicals (people without Asperger’s/autism), I have been rejected over and over again. And that’s not counting the ‘fuck-off’ look some girls have on their face before I even open my mouth.

    You mention paying for sex as a solution. Done that, but it hasn’t made me any better at communicating with women. They might as well be aliens with all their subtle social cues and hints. How am I going to respond to them if my brain is wired in a way that I don’t even see them? How am I going to get success when I get rejected solely for my lack of previous experience?

    And there I am, 22 and utterly clueless when it comes to attracting women. Paying prostitutes for it has so far proven to been the only solution since regular women keep their legs firmly shut for me. With the rejections I’ve piled up so far, I’m not even going to bother anymore. I just don’t give a damn anymore.

    And I’m NOT obnoxious. In fact, everybody remarks how nice and polite I am.

  32. Tom

    On November 2, 2012 at 7:20 am


    This article consists of nothing but generalizations and shaming language. Have you ever considered that there are men who through no fault of their own have bad luck with women? I myself have Asperger Syndrome and it\’s not like I asked to be born autistic.

    Despite trying my best to fit in and be \’social\’ like neurotypicals (people without Asperger\’s/autism), I have been rejected over and over again. And that\’s not counting the \’fuck-off\’ look some girls have on their face before I even open my mouth.

    You mention paying for sex as a solution. Done that, but it hasn\’t made me any better at communicating with women. They might as well be aliens with all their subtle social cues and hints. How am I going to respond to them if my brain is wired in a way that I don\’t even see them? How am I going to get success when I get rejected solely for my lack of previous experience?

    And there I am, 22 and utterly clueless when it comes to attracting women. Paying prostitutes for it has so far proven to been the only solution since regular women keep their legs firmly shut for me. With the rejections I\’ve piled up so far, I\’m not even going to bother anymore. I just don\’t give a damn anymore.

    And I\’m NOT obnoxious. In fact, everybody remarks how nice and polite I am.

  33. Don Mexico

    On March 4, 2013 at 11:20 am


    This article is filled with broad generalization. The reason I remain a virgin at 24 is because I have weak social skills due to teasing because of my tourette syndrome in my youth, and obsessive interest that take up allot of my time. I don’t have a obnoxious personality, I have a pretty good personality and a sense of humor. I’m pretty generous as well to people. I just haven’t put myself in a situation to lose my virginity, or found a girl click with.
    What’s the big deal about virginity anyway? It was something created by a more ancient societies to control women, by making sure she hasn’t been “penetrated” yet so the husband can make sure the kids are his own. A trully liberated society wouldn’t shame people, particularly men, for being virgins in the same way they wouldn’t shame women for being sexually promiscous.

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