Five Questions You Should Never Ask a Soldier
by In the airports, restaurants and pretty much everywhere else, soldiers get hit by questions they hate. Here is a list of things that should be off limits when talking with a war vet.
In the airports, restaurants and pretty much everywhere else, soldiers get hit by questions they hate. Here is a list of things that should be off limits when talking with a war vet.
Did you kill anyone over there?
Unless you are a child, you should be punched in the face for asking this question. Children are cute and don’t know any better. When they ask it puts a smile on my face. A bar tender asked me the other day, and I quote, “Did ya kill anyone over in Iraq?” I stared at him and thought to myself “How ignorant is this guy?” I didn’t answer. Whether or not I did or didn’t, that is a stupid question.
Taking another life is an intimate thing, something the person will have to live with forever. Unless you are a child, don’t ask it. If a soldier volunteers it, then listen.
What do you think of Bush or Obama or Hillary or McCain?
We don’t care either way about politics. It’s not our job and most of us could care less. Bush is the guy that signs our paychecks. He has more resources than we will ever know. Basically, a soldier doesn’t want to talk about politics.
Did you lose any friends over there?
Listen closely on this one. When a stranger asks this question it makes me uncomfortable. If a guy was in Iraq, someone near him probably died. We don’t like talking about it with anyone unless they are close or they were over there too. If you have ever lost someone really close to you it’s probably a sensitive subject, something you don’t just talk about to strangers. If you lost someone in a tragedy or to a crime, you really get emotional when talking about it. Get the drift?
Did you like it?
I’ll just answer this one for you. Probably not. Life in a war zone sucks. Iraq sucks. It’s trashy, dirty, and dangerous and the soldiers live in either tents, the ground or trailers. The food is generally crappy. We do what we do for our families, for our country and cause we hate terrorists. Not because we like war.
Do you think the war is going to end soon?
The answer will always be either no, I hope so or I don’t care.
The final verdict:
Basically we don’t feel like heroes. We don’t like war very much, but it’s what we do. We don’t want to hear someone say that war is bad. Experience war and then talk, that’s how we feel. If you were over there, you would understand as well. Lastly, if you were in Vietnam, Korean War or WWII that is good. We’re proud of you. But we only want to compare stories with our grandfathers. Sorry.
God Bless.
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Post CommentRachel
On June 1, 2008 at 2:14 am
Hi Armywriter
If anyone asks me these questions (if I were a soldier), I’d cross my eyes and look at him and say ‘Duh…’
I just want to THANK YOU and all your men for doing the job no one else wants to do.
God bless you, your men and your family always for letting people like me to stay with my family and have a comfortable bed to rest at night.
Rana Sinha
On June 1, 2008 at 4:54 am
Excellent. Gives a honest soldier viewpoint rather than the usual ideologically whitewashed ignorant opinions or justifications. Thanks.
The Quail
On June 1, 2008 at 10:35 am
Great work and thank you for all you do from one retired soldier to another.
Ruby Hawk
On June 1, 2008 at 2:16 pm
I want to thank you and all our military for risking and giving your lives so we can go to bed safely at night. I have one grandson who is on his second tour in Iraq now and another grandson who served his time there. I want all of you home safe with your families. Thank you for these questions to never ask a soldier. Thankfully I have never asked my grandsons any of these questions and I hope no one has but I wouldn’t bet on it. I’m sure we do and say things that we wouldn’t do for the world if we knew better. Best of luck to you and your family. Ruby
Darlene McFarlane
On June 2, 2008 at 9:24 am
Thank you for showing people your side. Whether you are overseas or at home, there are so many things people can’t and don’t understand unless they have either been told or been there themselves.
Thank you for doing both,
God bless.
Nah.
On June 8, 2008 at 2:55 pm
I think this article just is a load of BS.
I have been a second liutenant and I think every question is legitim because behind it lies curiosity. Don’t kill that cat.
Regards!
armywriter
On June 8, 2008 at 8:48 pm
Well LT, you’ve probably never seen combat then.
Armywriter
Odanneyboy
On June 14, 2008 at 8:28 pm
Very good piece, the answers as these are acceptable part of the mission no question needed.
You do not question your command.
You do not question your purpose you follow.
It does not matter if you like what you are doing. You do it to the best of your ability and follow your training. That means you have to kill the enemy.
It does not matter if you like the person who is including the president, chief commanding officer that is leading into battle.
Death happens, friends will fall that is a fact but a solder moves on.
When victory achieved then is when it is over. Victory never has a timetable.
C/ Lt..Col.
On July 17, 2008 at 12:15 am
serious question… would u recommend enlistment or commissioning? i would seriously want to know from a soldier over there.
thank you
Armywriter
On July 19, 2008 at 7:17 pm
Well Sir, I would recomend both. The military can help a young college grad become marketable and get them started off. Plus officers have great benefits. I think it would benefit almost any young man or woman to gain the discipline that the military provides. When in the military you cant rely on mommy and daddy anymore and that teaches young people to learn to fend for themselves. That and I think everyone should know what it is like to serve their country before expecting their country to serve them.
somethingtoremember
On August 4, 2008 at 2:57 pm
God Bless our heroes.
lynn high
On August 5, 2008 at 11:08 am
Thank you for all that you do, along with all of the other soldiers. I am so greatful for hero’s like you that protect our freedom. I look forward to reading more from you.
Unkwown
On August 27, 2008 at 3:48 pm
As a soldier I have to agree with that. I also hate “What’s it like over there?” and anyone who starts something with “Well they said on the news…” or “The media said…” should be in the same category. The media lies. And it’s definitely not a fun job, but if we don’t do it, who will?
hfj
On December 2, 2008 at 7:57 am
Good article. Thanks for your sacrifice to our great nation.
Mary J McCoy Dressel
On December 3, 2008 at 8:45 pm
Thank you for sharing this. Some people just don’t know what to say, I guess, so why not just smile and say hello? Your post is a great way to let people know what works the best. I appreciate everything you do! Be safe, and take care.
Mary
ashley washington
On January 11, 2009 at 4:17 am
i really want to know what can i do to help our american soliders.
ashley washington
On January 11, 2009 at 5:13 pm
i spelled soldider wrong.oh well im only 12 years any way
ashley washington
On January 11, 2009 at 5:26 pm
oh no i did it agina! i hate typing on the psp it too work.
nutuba
On January 16, 2009 at 4:45 pm
This is a fantastic article. I never served in the military, but I have many close relatives who did. You are absolutely right on every count. I worked for years with a close friend who was in Viet Nam, and as close as we were, he never ever talked about it. And I never asked.
You are an excellent writer — your work is well organized, informative, and wonderfully written. I look forward to reading more of your work.
maggie
On January 23, 2009 at 6:02 pm
sexy male soldiers!!!!!
maggie
On January 24, 2009 at 10:51 pm
me- so-horny
Melissa
On February 10, 2009 at 10:47 am
Thank you for your service and your candor regarding the experience. It baffles me that people are that stupid/ignorant/insensitive/inconsiderate and the list could go on. I completely agree that anyone other than a child that asks any of the above questions should be punched in the face for all to see and bear witness.
Be well…
Cardinalsfan
On February 17, 2009 at 1:52 am
Great article. It is very well put together. Even if you don’t feel like heroes, you are in my book. Keep up the good fight. Thank you for your service and putting your fellow Americans first. We truly appreciate all that you do. God bless.
Vet
On March 21, 2009 at 2:14 am
I completly agree. I have ran into these questions and it’s awful. Especially when it’s someone in your family askin and you almost feel like you have to give an answer.
Roman General
On March 26, 2009 at 1:40 am
I put a link to this post in my blog. Welcome home brother.
Calvin
On July 25, 2009 at 8:49 pm
I was in an airport last year and sat down beside a soldier because it was the only place to eat in a food court. I could tell he didn’t want to talk so we said very little to each other and but as I walked away I told thanked him for hi service.
I am not a veteran but I have a deep sence of gratitude for all veterans
white tow
On July 31, 2009 at 1:26 am
I guess another question you shouldnt ask to a soldier is ,
Did you had sex with another soldier?
dude really dont ask that question please, you dont want to know the answer and its none of your business.
molly
On December 5, 2009 at 8:20 pm
hi i\’m molly some of you know danielle dipearo she\’s my music teacher. some of you seen the music program at union city highschool thankyou for the new flag it is very very safe that i do sware well thankyou for saving our country very very very much. the flag is very safe miss d said [danielle depiaro]. thankyou for reading.
Sgt W.
On April 3, 2010 at 9:31 pm
That Nah guy was definately never a Lt. What a prick. Anyway, I do not mind the other questions as much as the first one and the third one. I try not to be mean when someone asks me if I ever saw combat, or if I killed someone or lost a friend; but every time I would love to kick their ass. People watch too many movies and they do not realize the pain involved with remembering everything that happened. Anyway, thank you for letting people know that this is no f*&#%ing movie and there are mental scars and memories attatched to their questions.
-Sgt W.
ally kemp
On April 26, 2010 at 5:27 pm
Hello, thanks for all your hard work. your an insperation to me! i want to join the army, and i was wondering if you could help me to email a solider and talk to them, i have so many questions and would like to know what they think you can email me at
acts10fourtytwo@yahoo.com
thank you!
JB
On June 10, 2011 at 7:56 am
Any soldier who doesn’t care about politics shouldn’t be one. You’re the one putting your lives on the line, how can you not care about the decisions being made in govt that directly affects a deployed soldiers situation. That’s the most ignorant answer to that question I can imagine. Clearly the author hasn’t actually fought in a branch of the military himself