Not Smart Enough to Blow Stuff Up

About a 15 months ago when I was processing into the military up at Moffet Field, San Jose,  I saw the most lame-brained dude ever.  First of all, every branch of the service processes through the same testing area.  An individual branch NCO(Non Commissioned Officer) drops you off and picks you up.  It is this reason that I knew that this guy was testing for the branch which will let you pass with the lowest score.  He was dropped off by a Marine Top Sergeant.  But this individual clearly couldn’t even get the minimum score, as this story will show.

I remember him in the testing room itself…..grunting, groaning, shifting in his seat, uttering “phfft!” sounds at the questions….as if the question were to blame for his idiocy.  Now, the overall scoring is on a percentile, for instance, I got around 87% for all areas, minimum score for the Marines was 35% as I remember.  He was the last one out of 20 people and we were all waiting for him when he emerged.  When you finish the test you are given your results on a paper by the testing agent and told to wait outside.

After a long wait this guy bursts out the door cursing and throws his crumpled result sheet on the ground.  At this point, his extremely “squared away” Marine NCO tells him to pick it up, get his coat and get on the bus.

We then head to an evening at the local Hilton for free food and a little fun before medical and final processing the next day.  On the bus I hear him bitching and he says,”Man, I don’t know why you got to be smart to blow shit up!”  Yikes!!!  God help us!

The last part of this story occurs when we were eating our “kick ass” dinner with all the trimmings at the hotel.  This guy, sitting at the “flunkies” table (they kind of found eachother and grouped together) was talking “smack” about the Country, the Marines, and everyone else who passed the test.  Since he wasn’t going back the next day his NCO kept coming in and telling him to hurry up and finish eating so he could drive him back to whatever sinkhole in which he had found him.  He had to do this three times before he practically picked him up by his scruff and carried him out!

Thank goodness for minimum requirements.  Can you imagine that guy as a soldier representing us anywhere?  I must admit it was nice of the military to give him that free meal, even with the failing score and the “smack” talking.  That’s just one of the people I watched over those two days at MEPS(Military Entrance Processing Station).  I’d say it is one of the best places for “people watching” besides the airport, any airport!