Even Trust Needs Conducive Support

A friend of mine often asks me to trust her and every time I reply her that I do trust her. In-spite of this dialog occurring so often, rather occurrence of this dialog so often means there is something else other than trust in between us. And this could be a trace of doubt only. Conversely, she often accuses me of having newer on-line friends and I request her to trust me. This too in indicative of some traces of mistrust between us.

The fact behind such dialogs is in our cores – we both are not doing enough for sustenance of mutual trusts, though we both wish to trust each other. It is often said that trust begets trust, but the bitter fact of life is that mistrust begets mistrust. Indeed, we both have traces of mistrust for each other, this makes both of us not to care for sustenance of the trust of the other. This keeps our relationship switched on and off so often.

Image by Kerry Goodwin Photography via Flickr

The first and foremost condition of trust is its mutuality – both need to take care of it with equal zest and care. A little drift or doubt on one side spurs an equivalent reaction on the other side. Second important thing about trust is that it either full or null. Even a trace of doubt is good enough to nullify the will to trust.

When two persons make up their minds to trust each other, none of them must leave it to the other to keep on trusting, but each one must work consciously to sustain trust of the other. This I call providing conducive support to the other for maintaining the trust.

Another important issue about trust is that it matters little how you perceive your own conduct. Instead, it matters a lot how one’s conduct is perceived by the other. I put the same equation in other words to underline it – it is not enough for any one to be fair with the other by his/her own parameters but it is more important how fair his conduct is perceived by the other through parameters of the other person. Thus in matter of trust, one’s own perception gets less value as compared to perception of the other. Therefore, friends, don’t be just fair, but display fairness to the other to make him/her trust you.

The conclusion of the arguments here is simple, since trust is thing of mutuality, you need to understand parameters of the other partner of trust and comply with them to earn his.her trust, keeping your own parameter aside.