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Learning to Trust Again After Betrayal

Betrayal can be a difficult experience to endure, but it is possible to move past the feelings. Learning to trust may take time.

Regaining a sense of trust after betrayal can be hard. Many thoughts go through an individual’s mind after he or she is betrayed: “How can I trust again when it has failed?” “How can I trust love when it has forsaken me?” “How can I trust others when they have let me down?” “How can I trust myself when I have messed up so many times?”

Often, grief accompanies shattered trust, as grief is a perfectly natural reaction to the loss that one experiences as a result of betrayal. Yet it’s possible to heal and learn to trust others and yourself again. This process may occur one moment at a time.

Trust is a Choice

Make a conscious, concerted choice to nurture yourself. There is no guarantee that you will avoid betrayal in the future, but you can learn to nurture trust. Be in integrity with yourself. Getting to know your real wants, needs and feelings and disclosing them to yourself is important. Be honest with yourself; this makes it easier to be honest with others.

One Bible passage suggests that you can build your house on sand or you can opt to build it on rock. Uplift, nurture and love yourself and you will set a firm rock foundation to learning to trust again. Let your intuition, that gut feeling be your guide. Your inner voice will always warn you of signs of danger; heed the warning signs. People will show you whether they are trustworthy or not. Learning to trust ourselves teaches us how to trust others. Know that you can make the changes that will help you learn to trust again by doing the following:

  • Acknowledge how you are feeling: If you are feeling, angry, hurt, scared or wanting revenge allow yourself to feel these emotions. Let them all out. Pound a pillow, scream if you have to, but allow emotions to flow outwards in a safe place where you won’t harm others. When you have calmer moments acknowledge them also. Don’t judge any of your feelings just let them flow. In time you will begin to feel calmer and these moments will last longer.
  • Start rebuilding trust within yourself: Once you allow yourself to feel what you are feeling you will begin to see that there are many things in your life that are good and going well. Begin to look for trustworthy moments in your life and slowly open to trust. Healing a broken heart doesn’t happen overnight but takes time. Start where you are and work slowly outwards to trusting others and situations again.

Learn How to Trust With Time

As you begin to trust yourself, you will trust the world around you . Trust your intuition, your common sense and your intelligence to know who, what and when to trust. Slowly, betrayal is overcome and trust is cultivated.

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