Guide on How to Carry on a Conversation with Parapsychologists

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   So, there you are blogging, or maybe just hanging out at a party, and someone comes up to you and tries to assault you with their belief system…because now that they have had a few drinks, popped some pills, or smoked some good reefer, they think that they know more than you, and would like to impart their knowledge to you.

  You never want to answer there questions directly, or take any issue head-on, because you will look like a dick to the other stoners who are buying all of the paranormal crap.

  You must keep in mind that your assailant may have read a few books, and know just enough to present a clear and present danger to your fragile psyche.

  So, the trick is to give long, round-a-bout answers, which are no more than meaningless word-salads, which sound semi-intelligent, but offer no definitive answers.

  If you practice this simple technique, you can easily hi-jack the conversation, steal your opponents thunder, and dazzle his followers with your wealth of information.

  Good luck!

 QUESTION:

Are we living in a “conscious field”?

ANSWER:

Assuming that we are connected to the conscious field, one must ask if the field is conscious of our existence, and if so, can we be conscious of the field’s consciousness, or would we all share a common consciousness, identical and equal to, or the same as, the conscious field does… with the exception that we are confined to the apparatus of our physical bodies, which would shape the way that we would perceive reality?

 If that were true, and we are all part of some greater “godhead” which would convert raw experience into individual perception, therefore negating the existence of one true reality, then where would the differential factors emerge that would facilitate the creation of individual experience and perception. I just thought that you might want to ponder those questions, while musing over your pursuit for the truth.

  QUESTION:

  Do you believe in ghosts?

  ANSWER:

   At the moment, I do not possess the knowledge required to form and educated opinion as to the validity of ghosts. While many people have claimed to observe ghost-like activity, which tend to defy the laws of physics, a majority of these cases are explained away as evidence of psychokinetic attacks from the disturbed minds of living people, or aliens. This is not to say that disembodied spirits do not exist, but if they do exist, they may be getting a bad reputation from false accusations raised by overzealous individuals who are ignorant of the far-reaching effects of psychic super-powers.

   QUESTION:

   Do you believe if extraterrestrial aliens?

  ANSWER:

   Yes. If Dennis Kucinich believes in them, then so do I. Dennis Kucinich is a great man, and he nabbed a young hottie that is thirty years younger than him, the guy obviously knows something that we don’t.

  QUESTION:

  Do you believe in God? 

   ANSWER:

    I think that God is going to do, whatever he is going to do, whether I believe in him or not. If I say that I believe in God, then I acknowledge that God is imperfect and irresponsible. If I deny the existence of god, then I may risk pissing him off. I don’t want an angry “Tooth-Fairy”, “Easter-Bunny”, or “Santa Clause” coming after me, so why would I want to incur the wrath of a vengeful God?