How to Make Zombies and Influence Vampires

A good 90% of the people you’ll meet are zombies.
Their brains are owned and operated by someone else.
Usually Vampires.
Trying to reason with a zombie is like…well…trying to reason with a zombie.
So don’t waste your time.

Zombies are born followers.  Like baby chicks, they follow the first thing moving in front of them.
Unlike baby chicks, they can be co-opted to follow someone else, but not at the same time. 

Zombies can only do one thing at a time.

If they are following one Avatar and a new Avatar appears they become…zombies.
They go into a long pause mode. If you know the secret Zombie code word,
(Money for some, Sex for Some, Food for others) you can snap them into obedience to
a New Avatar, but it’s painstaking work.

As you can see, world domination contraindicates dealing with Zombies but the with the
Vampires who own and operate them.

To give you an idea, let’s look at the average family.  Suppose there are three kids.
One is Zombie for sure, the other two might be Vampires or a Zombie and a Vampire. 
The Zombie kid will follow one of the others.  You do not in any way need to exert any
control over the Zombie kid, you exert control over the Vampire.

If the Vampire is cleaning his room, the Zombie will clean the room. If the Vampire wants to
go to the movies, the Zombie wants to go to the movies. 

Take the office.
Full of Zombies. Find the Vampire.
Get the Vampire to agree to whatever it is, and he’ll take care of the Zombies.

So how does one gain control over the Vampire?

Vampires want things.
One rarely finds a satisfied Vampire.
Find out what the Vampire wants and make it conditional on getting the Zombies
to do something. The Vampire controls the Zombies and you make sure to satisfy
the Vampire.

Unsatisfied Vampires are dangerous. 
They will sic their Zombie army on you.
And reasoning with a Zombie is like….