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A Chef in The Kitchen, a Lady in The Living Room, a Whore in The Bed Room

This is how it used to be. Mother. Wife. Hostess. Whore and Queen – all in one.

Nobody will ever win the Battle of the Sexes.  There’s just too much fraternizing with the enemy.

Henry Kissinger

Women got themselves into some sort of a setup, and it’s a real shame they can’t really blame anyone… except themselves.

Emancipation, women rights, equality. Great.

Now what?

It’s funny that some people (predominantly men) call the whole phenomena of emancipation – just another women’s “caprice”! Following this logic, the mere fact of demanding equal rights and equal social position is nothing but a sign of the very woman’s nature.

But let’s go back to our question: what is happening to the world now that women had gotten their rights, taken the positions and the roles that used to be solely men’s and claimed financial Independence?

For the sake of the discussion, let’s focus on a sterile middle-class family model:

Both husband and wife work, being occupied either in administrative-managerial or professional-technical positions. They take a mortgage, buy a house, a vehicle, then another one, then an SUV, raise kids, open money saving programs for the kids’ college, etc, etc.

If you ask the said wife in said middle-class family, whether she would have quit her job today, knowing that her husband would continue supporting her, knowing that she would roughly have the same quality of life and all she’d have to do is to take care of the house, kids and get herself some nice hobby – what do you think she would answer?

I bet on “YESSS!!!!”

A woman’s role in the family (for those who have one) hasn’t drastically changed despite all social reforms:

A woman is still the one to bear children. Biology, you know.
A woman is still the one to take care of the house – somehow even most zealous business ladies cannot avoid a certain extent of a traditional role. (Some even secretly admire it).

Why there are exceptions, that only prove the rule. A woman’s tradition role is not an easy thing to be expatriated. A position that has genetic roots, that has been practiced for thousands of years – you can’t just cross it out in a decade.
 
Said exceptions, when a husband takes a maternity leave, cooks and cleans while his wife is out making money are absolutely normal as long as all the guys and the girls are happy. I even know a couple who lives by this pattern.

Still, the majority sticks to the original picture with some “emancipated” and “modern” corrections. The lady brings up children and makes money, and, if she’s lucky, she’s got a charwoman to alleviate the burden of the accumulating shit in the house. I’m speaking from my own experience – too many women I know are caught in the trap – they work two full-time-jobs now, one at home, one at work. Financially unable to afford a cleaning/cooking/kids raising personnel. But let’s be optimistic and assume we’ve got many lucky women: then there is some sort of a balance – a woman makes her career – which is a burden in a way, but some of her traditional duties are off – which is a remuneration.

Surely, this is a great oversimplification. Things are not black and white, but vary among different hues of grey.

But generally speaking, when a woman equals man in all aspects, she stops being a woman. She stops being a delicate, feminine, vulnerable creature. She is neither a man, though, but some sort of a hybrid, not the most attractive one. Do we really need more men on this planet? Or do we need more masculine women and feminine men?

Another question that raises involuntarily, is the meaning of “financial independence”. Is a woman who works from dawn till dusk earning enough merely to survive – is this the kind of independence women were striving for?

Take all the young girls in college who do night shifts working as waitresses, doing cleaning services etc. Take young, unmarried women in their 20-ies who spend their best years sitting in a dusky office, sailing in the ocean of paper, making calls, running errands – all this for a minimum wage, a “survival-wage”. Take older women in their 40-ies who work in all kind of low-paid administrative jobs such as post office clerks. Take accountants, take dental assistants. Wouldn’t all these women prefer to be supported financially, doing just the “women” job?

“But who will support them?” – you ask. Well, somehow this used to be a casual practice of life some 70 years ago, when it was acceptable and tolerable for a woman to stay at home and actually enjoy it. Before the brainwashing has begun.

Take a look around you. How many women you know really enjoy their jobs and salary, find time to study, go to beauty salons, date, meet their friends… How many wouldn’t have exchanged their semi-independent existence for being dependant and taken off the hardships of morning traffic jams on the way to work, evening traffic jams on the way home, endless duties, work pressure and so on. I’m sure you know perfectly well what I am talking about.

***

Our society has begun disintegrating once women set off forming a separate, autonomic (sometimes even aggressive) society. Men, consequently, feel unneeded, unimportant and impotent. Why if a woman can support herself, bear and raise children on her own, who needs men at all? Who needs to get married and live in a social unit called “family”? The two genders keep more distance, reluctant to negotiate and compromise, less willing to give what it takes to thrive as a couple . Both are busy making money.

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  1. Patrick Regoniel

    On January 13, 2010 at 6:02 pm


    That’s a thought-provoking treatise on women and their roles. I understand many women want to do things just like men do. But I still believe in complementary roles of men and women. Women need not alienate themselves just for the sake of advancing their career. Whatever women want to do to live a satisfying life, men should respect. And I believe men should love women unconditionally.

  2. Kay Brix

    On January 14, 2010 at 1:26 am


    Thanks for you comment )) I’m not sure about “unconditionally”… this term can be argued about. A person is loved for something and/or despite something, but there are always some unique characteristics. I do agree that once together, we should accept our partner unconditionally and not to except him/her to change. Unfortunately, I see lots of women (among my friends as well) alienating themselves for the sake of their career, and then pretending and convincing themselves and others that this is what they really want and they are happy about it. While it seems that all they want is have a family (Like Daryl Van Horne from “Witches of East wick” had said “Nature, birth, rebirth. Cliche? Cliche… sure… but true.” :)

  3. Patrick Regoniel

    On January 14, 2010 at 6:38 pm


    Yes, I agree with your last statement.
    I remembered that article I read many years back that womanhood is fully realized when a woman gives birth and takes care of her young. This is something related to primal human instinct which many women, in my opinion, try to evade in the guise of pursuing a career. Well, a woman can testify to that as men will never in any way experience the unique mother-child bond upon giving birth.

  4. Kay Brix

    On January 15, 2010 at 6:16 am


    True, absolutely true. We are all subject to primal instincts, can’t escape biology and nature. It takes wisdom and experience (I’m talking more about women, but it is related to men too) to incorporate “mother nature” and “urban lifestyle”, which are quite antipodes, and keep the balance in every second of one’s life. I’m glad we have a consensus here :)

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