Apathetic Anger
Going to the War Place?
Somewhere, deep inside the armpit region of society, lies an elite sub-group of humans known as “free thinkers”. These so-called “free thinkers” are often mistaken for being misanthropes and have a bad habit of pointing out how stupid people are. What is usually overlooked, however, is that these are truly well-rounded individuals. Since they lie within the range between socially inept nerds and self-absorbed Hollister-wearers, “free thinkers” take on the best qualities of each party. Love them, please them, and bow down to them, because without them, there would be no hope for any of you…least of which, for the girl in the “Save Sudan” t-shirt that asked me if my dad was “sent to the war place.”
That’s right…The War Place.
Where did your teachers-no not just them-your cable companies go wrong? Anyone with a satellite box might gather that you mean Iraq or Afghanistan by The War Place, but that’s not good enough at all. That’s like America being called The Democracy Place. It just doesn’t work. But I digress…just know that, coming up to me at a convenience store and asking me stupid questions in an even stupider manner ticks me off enough to self-immolate like a Vietnamese monk. “Did your dad get sent to the war place?” Look at me when I’m typing this at you: That is quite possibly the second stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. Quit it!
Free thinking, in all its non-conformist splendor, does require a bit of small-scale apathy, though, when used on a bigger scale, apathy has the power to pull entire nations down into the proverbial crab-bucket. Sudan, for example, is a perfect demonstration of large-scale apathy. If the U.N. were to pull its head from out of its oily orifice, then it would be able to see things from a completely non-cash-driven perspective, thus giving people the opportunity to fly across the U.N.’s attention radar. As to how we might get the U.N.’s attention? Wear “Save Sudan” t-shirts. Not! Here you go:
- Round up a band of disgruntled Halliburton employees
- ‘Commandeer’ several low-profile oil rigs in the Gulf of Mexico
- Plant the gathered oil, underground, in the middle of Sudan.
- Claim that you’ve struck enough oil to last America another century
- Watch the peacekeepers flowing in on the horizon. .
Apathy is a virtue, however, like I said before, only when used in small doses. For instance, when I was working in the kitchen last week, I took some clean dishes through the IN door instead of the OUT door. This, apparently, flustered a senile waitress so much, that she came marching in with the gleaming pride of a Houston-area mattress salesman; just to proclaim that, “This is the IN door and that is the OUT door!” In this situation, she could’ve easily avoided her outrage by being apathetic…just like I avoided my prosecution by not throwing a cup of forks in her face.
In short, ignorance is bliss when ignorant of the small things in life…however, ignorance isn’t bliss when ignoring mass genocide. Fair enough?
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