Brad Pitt and Algelina Jolie Split. Who Did Brad Cheat with?

     The headlines are all over the internet.  Three of the top 10 hottest searches:

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie break up.

Brangelina.

Brangelina split.

     And the big question now is (aside from why we care) is… why?  Rumors have circulated for some time about Brad Pitt’s cheating ways.  The list of potential home wrecker culprits is rather dull, so we will now add a few more for the sake of amusement.  Feel free to believe, disbelieve, or get angry as you see fit.  If you chose choice #3, by the way… you suck, get over it, and pucker to my posterior.

Suspect #1 Tiger Woods.  While some felt that the relationship between Tiger Woods and Brad Pitt was more Fight Club, Tiger Woods has recently slept with, well… everyone, and Brad Pitt is part of everyone, so who knows?  Maybe it wasn’t so much Fight Club for Tiger Woods and Brad Pitt; maybe it was more Broke back Mountain.

Brad Pitt + Tiger Woods =  yeah, gross.

Suspect #2  Lady Gaga  The two have reportedly traded texts, and it would be the perfect super couple.  Definitely much bigger than Brangelina.  The World’s most eligible bachelor (again) and the world’s most suspected cross dresser.  Although, jokes aside, we do all know that Lady Gaga really is Lady Gaga…. don’t we?

Brad Pitt + Lady Gaga = Paga?

Suspect #3  Oprah Winfree  It may bring questions about Brad Pitt’s taste into question… but then, Angelina Jolie has done that already,  Brad Pitt and Oprah Winfree would be the perfect Hollywood Affair… they would own Hollywood.  And no one would say That Oprah Winfree was in it for Brad Pitt’s money.

Brad Pitt + Oprah Winfree = Opritt

Suspect #4 Rihanna  Tell me this wouldn’t throw some of them into a frenzy.  Two celebrities with one common trait; both of them are in the news every damn day.  Might as well consolidate for us and do it together.  Brad Pitt and Rihanna would certainly be Hollywood’s prettiest couple.

Brad Pitt + Rihanna = Brihanna

    Hopefully this made an otherwise boring super break up slightly more interesting.  Again, for those with sensitivity issues, bite me.

     I am not heartbroken in the slightest by the break up of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, and as such am perfectly content with making light.  If you wish to climb on to your soap box, by all means….