That was probably the best all round day for everyone there and for all ages. I was sorry to leave this hotel, it felt like home as we had many birthdays and anniversary parties here. It had six floors , but if you asked the night porter for a room on the seventh floor, this was code for a temporary room if you had Russian female company. Not that I know from experience of course.
The new venue was Paphos. This was good news. Paphos was virgin territory for the funfair and it would fall with the Greek Orthodox Easter holidays. When the fair first came to Cyprus three years earlier it was not possible to go to Paphos , as the roads were not passable with the large rides. Since then the new road had been completed. We all went on visits to scope out this place before taking the equipment. Paphos was beautiful. There were hotels and bars everywhere. This was truly the tourist hotspot.
The new roads were through mountain tunnels and some of the hills were incredibly steep. The road was not completely finished, but it was passable with care. We all agreed on an evening trip as this would be cooler for the vehicles engines , the tyres and the road would be quieter.

April ,Paphos 1999

It was approaching Easter time at home, “a” had sent the twist back to catch his best fairs and Yhan took the Dutch lucky number game home also. Mr“A” had ideas about staying the summer and setting up a permanent funfair park in Limassol on the sea front. Thoughts about this had been circulating since we first arrived in Cyprus, now it was coming to decision time. He and George had secured an empty plot of land next to McDonalds. The location seemed like a dead certainty , but the terrain was waste ground and would require a lot of work. “c” had started to look in Europe for another ride to bring here for the summer. “d” was taking the superbob home ,but decided to make a stall to stay the summer with and also leave two round games and the balloon slide all of which his sisters in law was going to look after. As for me , I wasn’t in a position to leave equipment here and for reasons to become clear in the next three weeks, would think it was going to be no good anyway.

The site at Paphos was the best we had been on. It was next to the old Keo brewery. It was near the town and had a low wall around it with a lockable double gate. It was a white kind of gravel surface, perfectly flat and made the site look very clean as if on a marble floor. The only problem was it gave us snow blindness and we had to wear sunglasses all the time because of the glare from it. The hotel we were staying in was the Damon. It was fine and had a large swimming pool. We almost lost “w” in this, she was with the other kids in the small pool. She was wearing an inflatable ring around her waist. She dropped her doll in the pool and as she bent down to pick it up she flipped right over and the ring held her head under and her legs in the air. We were all at the pool sunbathing but didn’t see this happen! Luckily one of the other kids of the same age seen her and pulled her upright. What a fright when they told us. After that no rubber ring , only armbands. I still have nightmares now when I think back about it. We will never be as lucky again.

The night I pulled the ride into Paphos was so clear, the stars were bright and this seemed like a different planet not a different country. The air was warm and I could not believe we only had four weeks to go until home. Our original flight tickets were to expire in two weeks, so my father and mother in law were to go home then. My wife and family would change our tickets for an extended period to finish this fair.

April 1999 Paphos

The day we were building up at Paphos was the hottest yet, The chap looking after the Medusa dark show asked me to move it for him onto its plot as he had no transport for it (Yhan had taken it back with him). Unknown to me the trailer brake had not been applied. When I shunted the unit under the front of the trailer it slid back off the two blocks and the front legs sank into the soft gravel. We could not get them to lift the truck up again. Eventually I asked Eric to lift it with his Hiab. This it just managed to do with all the alarms buzzing! I hastily got the lorry under to couple up.

The fair was setup and ready for operation by mid week, it was the Greek Easter from Friday and our Easter was next Friday. I though double dunt week, great! There were a couple of spaces in the fair due to equipment leaving for home. It was here that the real reason for the basketball game become apparent. Hank had a large cover made for it. Then he removed the baskets and hung the prizes along the back of the stall. It was identical in appearance to the lucky numbers game, this had been his plan all along! The Irishman asked me to make a game for his hoopla he had just acquired from the U.K. That would be another £50 for me on top of the basketball fee (if I ever got paid). He wanted a toss the coin on the square game. This was obviously because he seen how the Cypriots like to gamble and this was as close as you could get without using a roulette wheel. The next couple of days were spent marking out over 800 squares onto a 2 meter diameter table. Then I had to mark each one with a prize value from 20c to £5. It was taking so long that eventually there were six of us using marker pens to write the values. A few days later there was a near riot at the game. Two large Cypriots who had been playing at one spot for over an hour had eventually won. The only problem was that some clown had changed the 75c to £75. The Irishman tried always to avoid payment but the Cypriots had none of it and he eventually paid out. No one knows to this day except the culprit who changed the table markings. After that the Irishman inspected the table everyday.

The journey to Larnaca was too far now and we decided to stop the children going to the private teacher. They had done a lot of work in the last three months and it did make an improvement to “r”s education.

The first night open at Pathos was Wednesday night. It was a buster for me, the twist ride had gone home and unluckily for “d” the superbob broke down due to a wheel ballrace. My ride went hard at it for three hours , so did the games and pop it ons. This was what we had all been waiting for. This was the first fair to visit here ever. The fair looked well as Mr “A” had decorated the perimeter wall with hundreds of yards of rope light. The site was so large that we used the front half as a car park. This led to a slight problem on the first Friday night. A local Cypriot trader decide to park in our car park and then start to trade his wares. He used his van as a mobile stall. M “A” and the security tried to move him off, but he refused to go. It was only when Eric parked the Hiab lorry next to his van and threatened to lift it out that the Cypriot decided to move off. A number of them did setup market stalls and tables outside the gate of the fair to peddle their goods.

Eventually “d” found a small engineers to make him a new nylon wheel for the ride, but it would take another day. This delayed his opening again and for that week I was very busy everyday. Eventually “d” went back to Limassol to try and find wheels for the ride from a scrap yard. They were the same type as old hospital trolleys. He ended up in a scrap yard belonging to an old Cypriot called ‘crazy Michael’. Luckily he found spare wheels to repair his ride there.

My father in law and I also went to this scrap yard to source five core cable for the ride. I was going to need some now for when I returned home since I had changed the ride from 110v dc. I went to the yard office in Limassol. As I walked in there were two of the most stunningly beautiful women I had ever seen. They had dark hair, dark eyes and olive skin. They both were made up like models and had figures to suit. Both were in their thirties I would guess.

I asked for crazy Michael, by the look on their faces I quickly realised that they did not care for the ‘crazy’ part of his title. It was revealed to me later by George , that Michael was in his eighties and attending hospital in London for a heart condition. Those two beautiful women were his daughters and run the business for him. Apparently, Michael made his fortune while working for the British army in the 50’s. He was in charge of the fuel depot. In those days they were allowed up to 20% loss a day on the fuel through evaporation. You don’t have to be a master mind to work out what that led to! George said that the “English were very stupid” no doubt George associated with Michael during their younger days. The daughters summoned a Cypriot worker to take me and my father in law to the main yard a short car trip away. When we got there, behind the locked gate it was a treasure trove of ex-army surplus and assorted ‘good junk’. There was a mountain of “jerry” cans, engines, alternators, aircraft parts, armoured cars etc etc. After a short search we found what we were looking for. I pulled out the cable into a straight line to inspect it. The Cypriot pulled out a measuring tape. He gave one end to my father in law to hold. As we walk to the other end , my father in law waited and then followed us a bit to make the measurement shorter (we still laugh about it). With the measurement taken, it was time to haggle the price. I could speak no Cypriot and he could speak no English and we eventually reached an agreement by scratching figures into the ground with a stick! (we still laugh about that too). He wanted £160 CY for the cable. It was bought for £120 CY. This was £80 to Michael, £40 for the Cypriot and £40 to me that I saved from original price, plus thirty feet that was not measured. That cable still works fine today.

The dodgem had developed a problem, the transformer had gotten damaged during erecting the ride and it finally packed in. Lucky for “c” my transformer was sitting idle on the ride since I had changed to 3 phase in Limassol. We ran a main from “c”s generator to the centre of my ride and into the transformer. Then we ran the return feed back again to the dodgem ride. It was over 200 ft of main in all, but it worked fine until “c” got his repaired.
As the first 10 days of Pathos were the Greek Easter holiday period we were busy every night. I finally got even with the cash I had deposited into Mr “A”s bank account in Feb. Then on the Monday it was like a light going out. I have never seen this before. We were opening and not seeing one person. It was approaching our Easter now, but we had been getting money only from the locals. Now they were working to accommodate the British holiday makers and the Brits weren’t on holiday to come to the fair. This meant we never seen any Brits at all. This is why I thought that staying the summer would be no good and was happy to be going home in three weeks. It was time also for my in laws to go home. They were worried that it would get busy again, but I said there was not much chance and any way we had arranged some foreign help for the games (a Chinese girl) , Hank had hired a Russian girl to look after the lucky numbers game. That next day my in laws returned to the U.K. Business was so bad at Pathos now that the Chinese girl refused to take wages from me! I was only giving her £5 a night! I had to force the money on her. She would stay in the stall at all times, no toilet breaks, no meal breaks, it was embarrassing. The only time she left the game was one night when two policemen happened to walk through the fair. All the new foreign workers disappeared. It became clear that they thought it was immigration officials. These young workers were all students studying here in Cyprus on scholarships and were not allowed to work. If they got caught they would get sent home. After the police left they all resumed their places. The Chinese girl wanted to return to the UK and stay with my wife and I. If British workers had this kind of loyalty today, we might still be an empire.
We had two weeks to go. Money was tight again. “c” was in Europe trying to get a new ride for the proposed permanent park in Limassol. “d” was building a mobile stall (with my help) to stay at the permanent park with. One day we went to get materials to finish the stall. We had several 10ft x 5ft sheets of tin to transport. The only way to get them into the car was to roll them like a tube and put them across the back seat. Halfway back they decided to unroll and nearly decapitated us I had a slow puncture on the front of the lorry. I went to get a new tyre for the vehicle. I found a tyre services just on the edge of the town. I arranged for then to come down and repair the tyre. Later that day the two Cypriots came down to the fair with a van. I should them the lorry and flat tyre. When I opened their van I saw no spare tyre, no tools, no wheel key. I asked them how were they going to change the tyre with no equipment. The Cypriots explained in broken English that they would drive the lorry to their workshop to change the tyre and then bring it back. They also stated that they were looking forward to driving an E.R.F, as there were none on the island. Sorry to burst their bubble , but I needed this lorry to get home and there was no way I was going to let them go joy riding around in it. I drove the lorry to the tyre services and back.

The hire event for Dhekelia was this weekend (Saturday). It was supposed to be “c” doing it with the dodgem but he was in Europe. I asked Mr”A” if I could do it. He said he had offered it to “d” for the superbob. It turned out that “d” didn’t want to do it because if this weekend was like the first he would earn more money here than the hire fee. That was it, I took the gamble that this Saturday would be like the weekdays prior (even though it was our Easter) and be no good. The plan was on Friday night I would pull the ride down, drive 120 miles through the night to Dhekelia base and set the ride up to be ready for 11am. My 12yr old son ”r” would have to help me. My wife and the Chinese girl would stay at Pathos for Saturday to look after the games. There was one other condition, Mr “A” insisted that the ride be back in Pathos and operational for 12pm on Sunday. I agreed.

On Friday we were sitting in our hotel room. There was a knock at the door. When we opened it, I couldn’t believe who was standing there. We were all shocked! It was a sight for sore eyes, my in laws had returned! They had got home to an empty chalet, sat on the couch for an hour and decided they didn’t want to be in cold miserable Scotland and immediately booked a return flight. They ditched their package holiday room and moved back into the Damon beside all of us. Great! I said to my father in law, ‘we’re going to Dhekelia on Friday night!”

Friday was another disaster for business. I had to wait until the fair closed and at 10 pm started to dismantle the ride. “d” and his staff came over to help me and by 12am I was ready to leave. “m” my father in law was to drive the car, “r” my son would come with me in the lorry. Shortly after midnight we left to drive the 120miles across the island back through Limassol, past Nicosia, through Larnaca and by Ayia Napa to Dhekelia base.
It was tricky again through the mountain roads, but it was quiet and I could take the corners wide. It was a cool night and the lorry seemed to fly. At 4am we arrived at Dhekelia just as the sun was starting to rise. I knew were the ride was to be set up as I came a day before and met with the event organiser. We wasted no time and started to erect the ride. By 7.30 am it was ready for operation. I took this opportunity to return to Larnaca to enquire about bathroom fittings for our new caravan at home. I arrived there at 8.30 am and slept in the car while I waited for the shop to open. This meant that “m” and “r” would sleep in the lorry back at the base. “m” couldn’t stretch out in the lorry and ended up sleeping on the treadplate floor of the ride. He still complains about it to this day! I visited the shop and returned to Dhekelia just after 10am. Mr “a” had arrived with the t-cups ride by this time. The set up was simple- this was the army bases open day. They would sell ride tickets to the visitors and we would give them a go on our ride. There were all kind of army recruitment displays, tanks, helicopters and the must see of a lifetime The Red Arrows. When I saw them do their show it was amazing, the whole event came to a stand still as the crowds watched. I felt proud to be British. My son had a great day with all the soldiers and he only came back periodically to the ride to check in with me. “M” and I looked after the ride and a sergeant collected the ride tickets. He said they had done this for many years and it was usually an old Cypriot dodgem ride that came to the event. He said this was the best ride they had ever had there and it was the first to be making a profit for them above the hire fee!
It was a beautiful day and at 6.30 pm we closed and started to dismantle the ride. The event organiser came over and paid me my £1500 CY. I felt like a millionaire. This was our profit for being in Cyprus for over four months!

At 8:30 pm we were ready to head back to Paphos. It had been a long day and we were tired, but unknown to us, it was about to get a lot longer…….
I had just settled down for the return trip to Paphos. We had only travelled about 5 miles when I noticed the temperature gauge was in the red. Quickly I pulled over onto the hard shoulder and stopped the engine before it seized up. There was water dripping out from under the front of the lorry. At that “m” pulled up behind me in the car. We tipped the cab and I could see a burst water pipe coming from the radiator. I give “m” a 25lt can and sent him to find water. While he was away I tried to repair the hose by wrapping a cloth around it and then taping over it. For over an hour “r” and I waited in the cab for “m” to return. When he did I asked where he had been. He told me that none of the Cypriot houses could give him water as they only get a supply three days a week! Only hotels and tourist accommodation has a permanent supply of water. He had eventually got water by driving to the beach. We carefully poured the water into the radiator. It was just enough to fill it up. I started up the engine, it was still leaking but only a drip. Wasting no time I jumped into the lorry and set sail for Paphos again. As I passed Larnaca the temperature gauge started to ride again. I kept the lorry in top gear to reduce the engine revs and maintain maximum speed to keep as much air flow over the engine as possible. As we got to Limassol I had to stop again. I pulled off the motorway down to where I had parked the lorry 10 weeks ago , when we first came to Limassol. Across the road I could see a building site. I thought – you need water to mix concrete. There was no night watchman and the gates were locked. There was no choice, we cut the chain with a hacksaw and entered. There was no running water from any hoses, but then I noticed three large rain barrels full to the brim. “m” said we needed to fill our can and carry more water spare to get us to Paphos. He was right but we only had one can. Then I noticed another can next to a cement mixer. It was full of diesel. I didn’t hesitate, I poured it out so I could fill it with water. “m” had disappeared and a few minute later returned with a large bin. From the rain barrels we filled the two cans and the bin. The bin was so large that we had to put it in the boot of the car and leave the boot open.
With the lorry filled with water again, off we went. All the way to Paphos I had one eye on the road and the other on the temperature gauge. At the top of the steep hill we stopped again and filled the radiator again. By now the water was gushing out. I calculated it would be tight in reaching Paphos before the water was done. Of again and not sparing the horses I pushed it hard all the way. After another 30 minute we were back in Pathos. As we got to the gate, I switched the engine off and rolled into the fair. It was nearly 1am. Face black and wearing my overalls I went straight to the pub for a pint.

The next morning I got up early to erect the ride again as I said I would to Mr “A”. Just before 12pm we were ready to open. Business was terrible just had it had been the entire week before. Mr “A” came to me and said that this was the last night. They were dismantling the fair to go to Limassol to prepare for the permanent park. I was gutted, why didn’t he tell me? Why did he let me build up again for a Sunday that was no good?
The next day the fair was packing up. “d” took the hoopla game stall I had come with. He was taking it to Limassol as its original owner was coming out to use it here for the summer. That was fortunate as it saved me taking it home.

A few days earlier my wife had been window shopping with “d”s wife and they had spotted a couple of bargain price leather couches. “d” wife wanted a 3 piece suite and mine, a two and a three seater settee. They were cheaper than back home, so this is were the hire money went from Dhekilia. We arranged delivery of the settees for the morning. I had half the ride packed up. I had stored all my barrels onto the ride and was awaiting the local garage owner to come down and fill them. Shortly after he did the settees arrived and we packed mine on my ride and “d”s into his. Then I packed the luggage and the rest of the ride on top of the barrels. As I started to lift the ride it suddenly occurred to me that the weight was now greatly increased and maybe the hydraulics would not lift it. The ride did lift and I quickly coupled up in case the hydraulic rams buckled with all the extra weight. At that moment I heard a commotion at the dodgem. They had found a snake under the ride. After the initial fright they started to chase it with sticks. The snake was about four feet long and as thick as my arm. It moved incredibly fast and escaped into some nearby brush. Two passing Cypriots came over and stopped us pursuing it. They explained that it was deadly poisonous and a bite would kill in under a minute. Enough said, we all backed off. After that everyone was double careful about picking up litter or moving ground based objects.

I still had to repair the pipe on the lorry for the journey home. I went to an auto factors and sourced pipe, but I couldn’t get any antifreeze. Then I decided not to call it antifreeze but anti corrosion, hey presto! now they had it. It only took an hour to change the pipe, fill the system with water and anti freeze. Now all I had to do was drive to Limassol.

We left from Paphos after 7pm with my ride and the superbob. This was so it would be cooler on the tyres and engines. It’s a long pull up and out of Pathos up to the mountain road. By the time I got up to the main road I knew that their was still a problem with the lorry . The temperature gauge was rising again, but I had repaired the pipe, what was wrong now? I pulled in, the engine was boiling but the radiator was still full of water. “d” and I tipped the cab , but couldn’t see anything wrong. “d” pulled out his mobile phone and called home to a mechanic friend of his back in the UK. We told him the symptoms of the problem over the phone. He suggested an airlock in the water cooling pipe system. No it wasn’t that. He suggested the fan belt was off or slipping. No it wasn’t that. He suggested that the fan clutch was slipping and we lock it out by removing the air feed to it. As soon as we did this we could feel the airflow over the engine increase tenfold. That was it. Over the phone “d” was complimenting his mechanic friend , I said “tell him if he was any good , he would have told us to do that in the first place!” We dropped the cab down and set off again. The temperature was fine. I was relieved as it was only 50miles to Limassol, but I had 500 miles to go when we got back to London.

We parked the rides on the waste land in Limassol where the permanent park would be in the summer. We headed back to Paphos again. The next day we all returned to Limassol and checked into hotels. It was the end of April now and the place was busting with tourists. There were to many of us to all stay in the same accommodation, Those who were staying for the summer in the park had rented apartments or private villas now. This was cheaper than hotel rates and would probably give a more home like feel I think. My wife and I had booked into a small hotel as we had a few days to kill until our return flight. “c” would put our ride and “d”s on the boat for us so we could return home. “c” had bought a ride from Spain to come over for the summer. There were also other rides and games coming from the UK.

We flew out from Larnaca, “d” and his family, my family and a few others. We were all concerned about getting our money out of the country. I put half of our cash into empty shampoo and conditioner bottles packed in my sons carry on luggage. The rest of our money was going out the same style via my father in law, who was flying out in another couple of days. We got to the security point, just as I thought we were through the scanner, the guard called us back and began to open my son’s case. I thought the game was up. Luckily it was only his cap gun he was interested in and it was confiscated. Everyone in our group gave a sigh of relief.

It was the start of May. We had two weeks before the transport ship would dock at the Isle of Sheppey. The two weeks passed quickly as I worked on the renovation of the caravan. Mr “A” had asked if I wanted to deliver another ride to the docks while I was on my way to pick mine up. It was a waltzer ride. He offered me £500, but I wasn’t interested.

It was the second week in May when the ship docked, “d” and I flew to London and hired a car to get to Sheppey. We arranged to leave the car at the docks when we picked up the rides. I was relieved to see that there had been no damage on the return voyage. It was easier off loading the rides compared to loading and the customs procedure was quicker too. I was worried that Mr “A” would not honour is agreement to pay the boat fare both ways, but the man was good to his word and I had nothing to pay when I left the docks. Within a couple of hours we were driving home. I got a little lost and went the wrong way around the M25. By the time I got turned around “d” was about 30 minutes in front of me. He called me from the Dartford Tunnel. He had been stopped by the convoy vehicle on his approach to the tunnel. They informed him that he was an Abnormal load and required an escort. This cost him £60. He said I should pull in at the lay-by before the tunnel and wait for an escort vehicle too. I thought £60! Bugger that. As I approached the tunnel I passed “d” still waiting in the lay-by for the escort. I moved to the middle lane and kept going. A few minutes later I was through the tunnel, No escort, No £60 fee. I was well chuffed, “d” was miffed.

After that I just kept going. I only stopped once to re-fuel the lorry with my Cyprus supply. You could smell the difference, it was high in sulphur content. I phoned “d” a couple of times , he was about an hour behind me. It was late when I got to the yard in Glasgow. I stopped the engine and slowly eased out of the driving seat. My whole body was stiff and aching. The next day I started the engine to move the ride into a position were I could empty it. A red warning light glowed in the dash. The alternator fan belt had broken. Good job it didn’t happen last night! My father arrived and we off loaded the settees, market stall, barrels and the luggage. I even drained the fuel out of the generator and replaced it with gas oil. At last, job done!

I had been in Cyprus for five months. Paphos had pulled us through. At times it had been hard and we had eaten a lot of home made soup. Even then we had enjoyed the company and surroundings. My profit was two settees , some barrels of diesel ,a small amount of cash and a suntan. Just before I left the Irishman paid me the £250 for the work I had done for him. The whole trip was a great experience and I thought we could maybe return there next winter. My kids had a great time, especially “w”, for months she had bounced on the Irishman’s trampolines non-stop, like a piston in an engine. She was so small, yet so good at bouncing , it looked like a supernatural phenomenon! As for the permanent park- more rides and games went out, but business was poor. Mr “A” had a fall out with George and the park closed and everybody ended up in the courts. After three months of being closed, everyone disbanded and went their own way. I have never seen Mr “A” since. That was the end of Cyprus for the fair. It took me until December that year to finish the renovation work to the caravan. We are still living in it now. I’ve told my wife- “our next caravan is a house!” I hope to have one within this year.