Nosy interfering, bullying nosy neighbours can make our lives miserable.
Many of us have been subjected to nosy neighbours. Criticising our home, our life, our beliefs or even our diets.
Are they bullies or are they just miserable individuals that are unhappy in their own lives? Jealous of your life, health, social standing?
How do we handle the situation? How do we just ignore, if the comments are really getting to us?
As a young mother I was harassed and stressed out by one particular neighbour who seemed to have me under attack daily. She made my life and my home dismal.
Her home and garden was joined to mine and every time I set foot outside of my back door I was repeatedly plagued with negativity on her part. She would make stupid, hurtful comments about the lateness that I would hang out the washing on the line. Or about the fact we were having a Chinese meal for Sunday lunch instead of the traditional Sunday roast. I know now that these things are trivial and that it was none of her business but I was brought up to respect my elders and I took everyone of her venomous words and kept them in my head. I still feel a slight panic if I haven’t got my washing on the line by eight in the morning even now.
Although she was a bully… yes, I would definitely class her as a bully but she was also extremely unhappy. She had one married son who also had a son but she had driven them away. They hardly ever came to visit but on the rare occasion they did it would end up with her arguing with the sons wife. I don’t know why this older woman had a problem with other women but it seemed she did. She talked about women on the street behind their backs and never had a good word to say about anyone.
She did have a husband, a meek, mild man who had obviously learnt to keep his mouth shut when it came to opinions.
After quite a few years of this slaughter from her and me bowing and apologising for being such a troublesome individual, I found out she had developed skin cancer. When she came out of hospital after surgery I went around to her home with gifts and flowers. She was weak, we talked, and I took control of the relationship and made it a better one. From then on she never bullied me again, I am not sure if she had come to her senses. I had always been polite and courteous, never rude or telling her where she could stick her comments, I rode the waves of the relationship and it worked out. So I guess empathising with someone who is giving you trouble will eventually work in both your favours.