Goodbye President Bush, Thanks for All the Fun
A compilation of the most ridiculous, senseless utterances from the two-times President of the United States of America. He is the only misunderestimated man on earth.
President Doubleya Bush has made a lot of senseless statements in his time, but I have scoured the net to find what I think are most baffling of all. It was the first time in my years of research that I’ve come across so much information about one subject, that my brain momentarily became numb. I had originally planned to include only ten, but I was suddenly assaulted by thousands of instances. This of course, made the issue so overwhelming, that I didn’t bother clicking on many of the links.
This article is a tribute to the master of slip-ups, who is now on his way out. We will miss all the fun and laughs he gave us.
So here is my countdown.
20. It’s in our country’s interests to find those who would do harm to us and get them out of harm’s way.
19. And so, in my State of the – my State of the Union – or state – my speech to the – nation, whatever you wanna call it, speech to the nation – I asked Americans to give 4,000 years – 4,000 hours over the next – of the rest of your life – of service to America. That’s what I asked. I said 2 – 4,000 hours.
18. I had the opportunity to go out to Goree Island and talk about what slavery meant to America. It’s very interesting when you think about it, the slaves who left here to go to America, because of their steadfast and their religion and their belief in freedom, helped change America. America is what it is today because of what went on in the past.
(Yes, I’m sure lots of people think that slavery is very interesting and that they actually chose to travel – first class no doubt – to America)
17. My most important job is to defend the homeland, to protect innocent Americans from the deaths of the killers.
16. I want to thank the President and the CEO of Constellation Energy, Mayo Shattuck. That’s a pretty cool first name, isn’t it, Mayo. Pass the Mayo.
(If he thought the first name was cool, I hope he didn’t notice Shattuck.)
(Okay this picture may or may not have been photoshopped, but the others weren’t)
15. Border relations between Canada and Mexico have never been better.
(Geography lessons are in order here)
14. I’ll never forget the story of people in a Midwestern city, when they heard me on TV talk about how distressed I was that women of cover would not leave their homes, for fear of some other American treating them harshly, and then Jewish citizens and Christians alike, getting on the phone, and saying, we want to help you. We want to take you to the neighbourhood store. This isn’t the America we know.
13. We know that dictators are quick to choose aggression, while free nations strive to resolve differences in peace.
(Methinks thou protests too much. Free nations resolve differences in peace?)
12. There – it’s – you know, one of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on terror.
(One would think that was your only job while in power)
11. Now, the temptation is going to be, by well-meaning people such as yourself, John, and others here, as we run up to the issue to get me to negotiate with myself in public.
(Please, no, not in public! Think of the children)
10. And this enemy of ours hates what we stand for. They can’t stand us. They’re ruthless murderers. And they must not have understood America when they attacked us. They thought we were weak. They thought we were so self-absorbed in our materialism that all we would probably do is just sue them. Man, were they wrong.
(Were they, man! Nah, killing them is better than suing any day.)
9. No question in my mind these are tough times for America. But there’s no question in my mind we’ll prevail. Right is on our side. And we’ll prevail, because we’re a fabulous nation, and we’re a fabulous nation because we’re a nation full of fabulous people.
(Napoleon, the pig in George Orwell’s “Animal Farm” is the only other leader which I’ve heard (or read) address his people like this. The obsession with instilling this ideal of “superiority” and “difference” is strikingly identical)
8. There’s an old saying in Tennessee – I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee – that says, fool me once – shame on – shame on you. You fool me, you can’t get fooled again.
(Ahh, never mind)
7. The Oval Office is an interesting place to meet, particularly, people who are beginning to struggle with democracy and freedom because it’s a reminder that the institutions, at least in this country, are always bigger than the people. Sometime we’ve got an all-right President, sometimes not all right. But the presidency, itself, exists.
6. One of the interesting things about Katrina, as you well know, is many of the people displaced did not own their own homes, that they were renters.
(Yeah, that definitely explains why it’s not important to help them. Everyone knows that poor people don’t need help)
5. And so while there’s a shortfall because of down refining capacity, we will work with – we have instructed EPA to leave the rules in place, or to suspend the rules that were in place, keep the suspension in place, which would make it easier to increase supply, and continue to get supply of gasoline here. And that’s important for our consumers to know.
4. We got an issue in America. Too many good docs are gettin’ out of business. Too many OB/GYNs aren’t able to practice their – their love with women all across this country.
(Please, SOMEONE think of the children)
3. You know, you can’t discriminate. Freedom is not a discriminatory thought, at least in the White House – in other words, if you say, certain people should be free, but others shouldn’t free. It’s a universal thought, as far as I’m concerned.
(Yes, I get ya!)
2. I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe – I believe what I believe is right.
1. Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.
Go here if you want to see some funny tapes of some of these speeches and more.
(What’s your best one?)
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User Comments
nobert soloria bermosa
On April 6, 2008 at 10:38 am
this is a great article………..
it’s really hard to be on top,, everything you do and say are being monitored,,,that’s is why i don’t wanna be a president…lol
nice research job…Anne,
Judy Sheldon
On April 6, 2008 at 5:20 pm
At first I thought I misread the title, and it was supposed to say the ten most intelligent things uttered by Bush, but because he hasn’t said anything brilliant, you were at loss for words. lol
Dee Huff
On April 7, 2008 at 5:12 am
Good grief! Did he really say all that and more? I thought that Presidents and PM’s had speechwriters to make sure they didn’t trip over their own tongues.
IcyCucky
On April 7, 2008 at 6:05 am
Great job, Anne..
Josey
On April 7, 2008 at 7:35 am
Very funny!
Ehhh...
On April 7, 2008 at 9:05 am
I was one of the nay-sayers the other day, came back to see if it had reappeared again. Great article, glad I came back.
valli
On April 8, 2008 at 12:41 am
Great article, Anne.
Andy-N
On April 8, 2008 at 2:16 am
I am glad the African people were so generous and willing to travel to help the United States through the voluntary slavery years. I even heard that history says the slaves were angry that people suggested they were forced to come here.
It’s also a relief to know that the people who were up rooted from Katrina really didn’t lose anything afterall they were only renters.
It takes a pioneer like Dubya to put perspective on issues.
Anne Lyken-Garner
On April 8, 2008 at 2:54 pm
Thanks everyone, and thanks for your patience while the article was being sorted out.
Norbert, while it’s true that you are constantly monitored while on top, you are also meant to know much more BECAUSE you’re on top. The people who voted for him did so because they thought he knew much more than them. It’s not just about being monitored, but no one expects a leader not to know what Greeks are called for example (another instance where he called the Greeks ‘Grecians’).
Judy, I know what you mean…
Dee, that’s true, however, after reading literally hundreds of these quotes, I’ve concluded that he doesn’t follow the speech writers when he makes these faux pas. (Using the French term reminds me that W also said that there is no word in French for ‘entrepeneneur’, you and I both know that no speechwriter would pen that).
As far as I can gather, he’s fine when he follows the writers and not when he doesn’t. Could you imagine him on Prime minister’s question hour?
Andy, I love your dry humour, my thoughts exactly!
Anne Lyken-Garner
On April 9, 2008 at 9:33 am
I couldn’t resist this one:
“I can’t understand a mentality that doesn’t recognize that causing America to be treated equally is not in our interests.”
(He said this,not I)
Darlene McFarlane
On April 10, 2008 at 8:52 am
I have always got a laugh out of things that Bush has botched. I think I can identify with him…maybe that’s why I prefer to write..you can always go back and fix it.
Great article, Anne.
Alexa Gates
On April 10, 2008 at 9:38 am
bush isnt that bad…
Anne Lyken-Garner
On April 10, 2008 at 12:37 pm
‘entrepreneur’ is what it should be in my comment above.(The bug may be catching).
Alexa I promise that I would change my view if you list for me 3 things President Bush has done to make the average, working American’s life better, and 3 things he has done since his time in the White House, to elevate the American people in the eyes of the world. If you can’t think of these, list 3 positive things he’s done to the deserving American people about which you would boast.
Ruby Hawk
On April 11, 2008 at 7:10 pm
I didn’t hear every one of these things he has said but I have heard enough to know he did. I cannot stand to listen to the man anymore. I don’t listen to his speaches, and if he comes on TV I turn it off. Thank goodness Nov. will be the end of him and his ignorance.
Judy Sheldon
On April 13, 2008 at 2:41 pm
I am firmly convinced that he stole the election both times. We couldn’t wait to get him out the first time, and then there was some questions on the votes again!
Darlene, I agree with you. I have placed my foot firmly in my mouth more than once, but then I wouldn’t think of stealing the presidency. I’ll stick to writing, and use my smell checka that Louie loaned me. lol
quiet voice
On April 14, 2008 at 11:00 pm
…Hi Anne, this person does have ADD,
so I guess we should feel a little
sorry for him. What i try to understand
is why wouldn’t they have tried harder
to let Jeb run, much smarter, sensible
and great sense of humor. I could
not read the entir article. I have to
mute the tv, I do try to listen to
the reporters questions. This has
been one of the worst periods of time,
in our history, and the long term
effects will play out, for gosh knows
how long. Nobody has ever cut taxes
during war time, and it might just
throw us into something worse than a
recession. Pitiful the damage done.
Great job of researching.
MysLykeMeeh
On May 1, 2008 at 5:54 pm
Lol..very funny. Well, he’s just a human so he is capable of making mistakes.
Hilarious, really.
ET Barton
On August 9, 2008 at 2:19 am
Anne, This article is hysterical. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I knew our president was basically an idiot, but man…I had no idea. Maybe if I actually listened to his speeches once in a while, I could be even more appalled.
Really fabulous job.
Steven West
On August 29, 2008 at 1:54 am
Very funny. President George Bush represents the lowest common denominator in politics. Unfortunately, I don’t think President Bush would know what denominator means. He better consult Cheney.
Beatrice Adams
On January 13, 2009 at 11:29 pm
I couldn’t stop laughing out loud while I was reading this, and I was at work!
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