Hilary Duff’s “That’s So Gay” Ad: Helpful or Harmful?

Thanks, Karen, it was hard to write this article because some good is portrayed…but the means are inappropriate.

My apologies for the typos! The last thought is that it is difficult to deny that advertising is best at stirring baser motives.

That’s a common thing in teens, bad is good, good is bad.

It’s okay to be crazy too.

If your a nerd your stupid.

If you fail no-one says anything.

If you make A grade in everything, you get all kinds of comments.

I guess the intentions were worthy!

In the UK we have “sick” for good and “book” for cool – is it the smae there?

As much as I truly appreciate this ad campaign (and I could gloat about it for many paragraphs) I unfortunately have to point out one glaring mistake in the Wanda Sykes spot. She uses the word “dumb.” Think about it. She is using the word the same way the word gay is being used. I know I’m splitting hairs and perhaps this is “old school” but the entomology of dumb comes from people who can’t hear or talk correctly. Using the word dumb is to signify that a thing is bad and therefore being deaf is bad. Not only should we check our language when it comes to insulting gay people but we should also take into consideration people with disabilities. Watch the ad again and replace the word gay with retarded and/or dumb. I’m just sayin’…

Although the said ad is not available in my country, I do agree with you on this one. Thanks, Brian

Panda, thanks for the comment. I may have misunderstood your thoughts, but I do agree that we Americans tend to take an unintellectual approach to life, and that isn’t always bad, but it is often not good, such as in the election. I think there are solutions such as healthy debates and forums. Unfortunately, these are not mainstream or income generating enough, so their impact is minimal. I also am not comfortable with the suggestion that something is better than nothing. That may be true, but it doesn’t mean it moves the debate or issue forward substantially. I don’t see this ad campaign as benefiting the gay community all that much – I view it as more a commentary on societal laxity on language and respect for others. But if you find it helpful or encouraging, then that is great! Thanks, again, Brian

I can’t say I agree with you, PaulC. You say they are being presumptive, but I don’t feel this is the case. If anything, I think you yourself are assuming to much. Again, thinking way too much of this commercial.

You people are looking far too deeply into shallow waters.

They aren’t saying they know what the kids are thinking. They’re saying that the term they’re using to describe an unappealing object or idea is offensive to a group of people.

And while sure, I do agree that our freedom of speech and what not is under fire, I don’t believe that this ad is such an instance.

If you view the defense of one group of people as an offense, then I suppose that’s your prerogative. I believe I mentioned that any outward opposition in our defense would be viewed as a threat? Though I don’t think I said threat… should have. I said challenge, there we go.

Anyway!

There’s a difference between expressing your freedom of speech and outwardly offending an entire group of people.

I don’t believe any terms used in an offensive manner should be tolerated by anyone.

This doesn’t mean I agree with you, though, Brian. Your methods would be far too passive and in the end won’t see much in the way of results.

They are ideal at best.

I’m not saying that I’m a fan of conflict, but sometimes you have to stand up and speak out for what you believe. Stand up for yourself. We are being bullied just as many major groups of people have been before us. Maybe it’s just our turn, and like the others, it will pass in time.

But if you know anything of history, sir, you know that African Americans and Women, as the two most well known groups, did not receive acknowledgment or equal rights or whatever by just sitting around saying “Hey… I don’t like what you said… it hurts…”

You have to be aggressive. They were. And look. While it’s still not perfect, as compared to however long ago, there’s been a definite impact.

There are strong, well respected, very intelligent Blacks AND Women in high ranking positions all over America.

Why?

Because they fought for it. As a group, they stood up against apprehension and adversity and fought back.

I don’t believe telling us, in the gay community, that we should be passive and hope that one day someone will want to just sit down and talk. They won’t. We have to MAKE them listen to us. Nothing in Society just comes around and falls into place; It’s shaped that way. It’s put there. Crafted, as you will.

Just as we have to craft our place in society.

Don’t encourage pacifism in a society of bullies. It won’t work. You’ll just end up with more casualties than survivors, and then what?

Save the Flowers and Fliers for when we’ve come to live in a Society that will actually take such seriously.

Those commercials are so gay.

Glad you all are having such a lively discussion

the “Flintstone’s song” (”we’ll have a gay old time”) and several Christmas songs? I don’t think so. I’m still trying to figure out at what point did homosexual males take that word out of common use in the English language.

I find this post alarming. There is no reverse discrimination in these commercials, nor a message to spark or pursue any.

I would also tend to agree that this is a powerful but shallow concept. The author of the blog is seeing too much that is not there. This was a well thought out campaign design to do just what it was designed to do. And I do not think showing by example or comparing and contrasting is hurtful. It is obviously geared to all young people of any background. The writing is very low level and the message is clear. Don’t use groups of people to express negativity.

This commercial does not marginalize young boys with mustaches because first it says that it is wrong to use one so it is wrong to use another. Secondly it demonstrates everyone can be hurt and how resonating each of our words are on others worth. And thirdly it is completely absurd for this author to compare young heterosexual white male’s troubles (even if they have an underdeveloped mustache) with that of a gay young teen. Culturally we do not shun or disapprove of young male or their coming of age. However this commercial points out how gays are targeted and the whole younger generation associates the word “gay” with negative concepts, both in a direct (de-masculine and therefore inferior) and non direct way (second rate, bad, strange, and unsatisfying).

This use of the word gay shows just how much contempt there is for the gay community. I think that young people do not even realize they are spreading this hate or strengthening it in communities where being gay is truly seen as immoral. I think this commercial starts young people thinking. It creates sympathy and understanding. It connects them by pointing out their reactions to the same negative expression towards them.

It does not ask them to restrict their freedom of speech. It asks them to reevaluate wether or not they are expressing them selves as they want to be seen. In fact it opens their freedom of speech by informing them of their own effect and allowing them to choice wether or not to follow a trend.

Alex and Virginia, thanks for your comments and for reading. I appreciate it.

As for Dustin: I appreciate your perspective and thoughtful post. Your statement that I am seeing too much that is not there is a fascinating one, and in part proves my point that this ad campaign is NOT CAREFUL ENOUGH, too broadly focused, and lacking specific intent to be beneficial. Having thoughtful people on both sides of this blog shows that the commercial is a bit open ended, certainly more so than what was most likely intended.

Brian

I think this commercial is excellent, What some of you arent getting is that the kids dont even understand that when they say “Thats so gay” they are using the word Gay in a derogatory fashion. By educating them on what they are saying They can understand and think about it rather than just use it because its just a thing to say. I just did a whole lesson on exactly this rght before this came out. The same thing goes for when kids say “That is retarded” I actually had a kid poinit out that they used to say that all the time until they got a baby cousin with down syndrome and now she gets angry when she hears people say it.
GREAT COMMERCIAL GREAT MESSAGE

I hate this Commercial!!!. Its not enough they cram their sexuality down my throat…Now they want to tell me what to say!!!! *&^% that! %^&* them. This is a free country, I can say whatever I want to say.

I wonder if they will ever create commercials fighting the use of the term “ghetto” as an adjective for something bad, shameful, tacky, or negative. I’m not saying that “ghettos” are a positive thing. I’m saying that there are plenty of good people who are hard working and struggling in “ghettos” and nothing about those people is “bad”, “shameful”, or “tacky”.

I wonder why those commercials were overlooked.

I come from a white mother and a black father and I truely do get very upset seeing that blacks may have shows, parades,festivals etc. all poking fun at whites and others as well. yet, put a white show on and watch how quick the blacks get in an uproar. I am proud of who i am and i am proud of my parents. My parents are so comfortable with who they are, and their love for each other. They dont care what other people think. They are happy. I have grown up and learned to be happy with who I am as well. Some will look down on me, but most accept me. Thats just the way it is. I dont mind it. People just need to accept who they are and DEAL WITH IT instead of whining and complaining about everything all the time. If you black then your black. DEAL WITH IT. if your gay, then your gay. Dont be offended by silly terms that others might use. trust me, i have heard many of them growing up with mix parents. I dont get offended by them. I DEAL WITH IT.

um cj i so didn’t know thats want dumb meant now i feel so wong gawd i’m a horibble person

What a stupid commercial. I hope people do the opposite.

The problem isn’t so much that gay people are offended when they hear the word gay used in that manner (many gays also use it that way). And certainly most people who use it are not being homophobic. The issue is that it subtly reinforces the idea that gay = bad, not cool, stupid etc. Of course, no intelligent person is going to consciously come to hate gay people because they hear the word being used to describe undesirable things. What does happen though is that with repeated use the word becomes subconsciously associated with a feeling that gay isn’t socially acceptable. This may not seem like a big deal to those who use the word in a different context, but it gives a feeling of societal approval for those who are or may become homophobic. It also confuses young kids who aren’t aware of homosexuality and grow up learning that gay means something bad. As they grow old they are already predisposed to a negative attitude toward anything called “gay”.

This may not seem like a big deal to many of you who happen to be straight, but to people coming into realization and acceptance of their sexuality it can be extremely painful to find out that their true nature is something their peers consider undesirable, socially unacceptable and deserving of ridicule. The effect that has on the mental health of someone going through a stage that’s already terribly awkward can ruin a person for life. Studies have shown that gay teens are at a much higher risk for suicide, depression, drug and alcohol abuse. Some never fully recover from the trauma. Just imagine how hard it was for all of you growing up if you didn’t fit in. We all want to be loved and accepted by others and it hurts like hell at that age to feel rejected and ridiculed. Now imagine that in addition to living in fear being an outcast, you continually hear talk of how being gay is disgusting, an abomination that deserves punishment in hell, and deserving of being beaten up or even killed. Those with stereotypical gay mannerisms, whether or not they are actually homosexual, spend their entire days anticipating either verbal harrassment or physical attack. While much of the threats are just tough talk, a young person doesn’t know that. Imagine spending every minute of every day worrying about people trying to beat you up. How would that make you feel?

And for those who don’t appear gay, think what it’s like to spend everyday hiding your true self for fear that if you don’t live a lie you will lose your social support network, become ostracized, and hated even by your own family because you are the definition of the word “gay”. Many of the worst homophobes are simply trying to hide their own sexuality prove their straightness by taunting and beating up other gay people.

So you see, it’s not just a matter of being insecure, trying to shove something down others’ throats, or being overly pc. Words usually come into usage by societal consensus. Homosexuals didn’t steal the word “gay” anymore than African-Americans stole the word black from white people who used to own it as a color. The word gay is not offensive, but the context it is being used by many does have a huge impact on many lives. No one is trying to take free speech away from anyone here. The commercial is simply pointing out something that most people have probably never even thought about. And comparing the offense to the cheesy mustache boys in the video with the impact of homophobia on millions of people is like comparing a canoe tipping in a stream to the sinking of the titanic. I seriously doubt that boys with cheesy mustaches are dealing with anything remotely close to the threats and feelings of terror, hopelessness, isolation and self-hatred suffered by gay people who can’t just shave off or grow out of their homosexuality.

While these commercials are not likely to directly stop people from using the word in that way, it does bring a certain amount of awareness of how our language can cause real harm to others. Imagine if it were the popular norm to use the word “jew” as an acceptable term for cheap? No one is going around arguing that that’s something we should embrace and Jewish people just need to get over it and find another word to call themselves. Why is it okay to use the word commonly used to describe homosexuals as denoting something even more negative and undesirable than the definition of cheap when for the most part Jews face far less discrimination in most areas of this country today than gays? With some exceptions, Jewish people in the U.S. don’t have to listen to constant jokes and ridicule or spend their days being verbally assaulted in continual fear that they may be physically attacked. And they certainly don’t have to hide their identity from their family for fear they will be disowned by their parents. No other group I can think of faces so much socially sanctioned ridicule and hate as the gay community. Granted, every group that is different from the norm suffers from hate, but for the most part politicians, religious leaders, and school officials officially discourage blatant bullying and attacks and in mainstream society it isn’t condoned, at least not directly. But when it comes to gay people, community leaders are frequently silent about the subject or sometimes even encourage it. And like some of the comments above me prove, many people actually are mad that the subject is even brought up. They go so far as to make themselves the victims of the oppressive homosexuals who have the audacity to even talk about their experiences. The gay community just wants to live their lives feeling safe and free like everyone else, but if issues like this can’t even be discussed then there is definitely a problem.

This is late in coming. Gays, Hispanics and Asians are the last groups who are “safe” to insult in public. In the popular culture, they are fair game, especially for people who consider themselves to be enlightened. After all, when they say this stuff, they are “just kidding around,” right? They aren’t bigots, they tell themselves, because they are careful not to insult blacks. I won’t give examples; just check out your favorite comedians of all races, genders and ethnicities.

\”Gay\” was strictly defined as happy or joyful before society changed the meaning to homosexual. Therefore, I can use the word gay however I please. It is not my problem that homosexuals decide to use the word \”gay\” to describe themselves when the definition of gay is something completely different. You use it however you want to use it, and I\’ll use it however I want to use it.

I think that your commercial is a direct violation of the First Amendment of The Constitution of The United States.
You can’t tell people what they can and cannot say.

i just wanted to say while i’m sure well-intended i completely disagree with the main point of this article. neither of these commercials is advocating making fun of any group of people, (in fact they both do the opposite) both simply make the very obvious point that if the name of the group of people you identified with was misappropriated into a perjorative slur you might be offended. it’s actually a pretty powerful and thought provoking message, that basically amounts to asking people to follow the golden rule and think about how their actions may affect others. i think any other interpretations of these commercials is mistaking the intent at best, and at worst trying to pigeon whole gay rights advocates as angry hate mongers and intimidate them into being quiet.

Gay has 2 definitions.
Gay-homosexual; *old english –>* happy.

You stupid liberal assholes!! Gay people are the most digusting thing on the planet. I feel like shooting my tv when that commercial comes on. When the founding fathers wrote the constitution they never dreamed that people today would use freedom of speech that way! They would seriously roll over in their graves.

I just saw these commercials…..and personally, I am by no means anti-gay, but wasn’t it the gay community that originally said they wanted to be treated ‘like everyone else’?? So here is my issue, what gives your community the right to go out there now and want everyone to feel sensitive to you?? I mean, you wanted to be treated ‘the same’ right?? Here is something for you to ponder, I am a cracker (white male) and a geek (IT worker) as well as before I was a jarhead (military for anyone who has been living under a rock)…….but I dont get to go out and have commercials made for me because I dont want to be called one of those things or even here it??

This country is getting way to sensitive, maybe that is one of the reasons for all the issues we have??? Maybe a little ‘toughen up’ training is in need.

BTW…..The term gay was originally used to refer to feelings of being “carefree”, “happy”, or “bright and showy”; it had also come to acquire some connotations of “immorality” as early as 1637. Chew on that a little before you jump down another persons ass about the meaning of gay……it really isnt even negative.

If you agree with this you are ignorant to the message. They aren’t making fun of them but bring up the point that if you use a term like “gay” as an adjective instead of what it is intended you could hurt someone. For some reason you have all missed the point. Not suprised though. It seems people will never get this one.