How to Deal with Your Teen

When you deal with your teenager; it’s important that when you lay down the rules with them that they should understand them clearly. When teens understand the rules that you set they tend to accept the consequences that go with breaking them. Teens like children of all ages like to test your limits. It is a given that they will try to test the boundaries that you make for them. So, when the slip up on a rule as a first offense; give them a warning about their mistake. Let them know that you are aware that they blew it. Talk to them about what they did so they can learn from the experience and hopefully not repeat the mistake again. If the teen does it again then you enforce the consequence for the rule they broke.

It’s also important that while you are enforcing discipline on your teen that you listen to what your teen has to say. Teens need to feel you hear their position whether you agree with it or not. It makes them feel like they count and you respect them. What you can do after you listen to their point of view; is ask them how they would feel if they were the parent and you did that to them. They may actually see what you are saying by reversing the scene in their mind. Likewise make it clear that as a parent you do not condone drugs, sex, illegal activities or violence. You have to also teach the teen that you are not afraid to take control if the teen lacks in that department as well. 

Be fair though. If your teen breaks a rule, make the consequence fit the violation so to speak. If the kid stays on the phone when you tell them to get off after several warnings take the phone away from them for the evening and maybe the next day. A violation of this nature would not warrant taking the phone away completely  or allow them any phone calls for a month. They didn’t do anything that severe. On the other hand if your kid is drinking and drives drunk, revoke their driving privileges for a long while it can save their life. Anything that involves their safety is a serious issue. Things like chores and household responsibilities should be considered but not on the same level as safety and morality issues.

It is interesting that when you have a fair relationship with your teen they will come up with fair punishments for themselves as well. Experts recommend that a parent of a teen try this approach the next time you and your teen butt heads. Use this when the two of you cannot seem to come to a meeting of the minds; agree to do it their way for a week. That’s providing there is no danger involved. At the end of that time you can reevaluate the situation. What this does is promote mutual respect between you and your teen which is so important  in having a good relationship between the two of you. It also teaches your teen critical thinking. Discipline should be a teaching experience for you the parent and a learning experience for the teen.