Lady Gaga a Little Sumthin’ For Ya?

I’m having a cold one right now, I think it may be my fifth or six I don’t rightly know cos I lost count but I’ve just heard about Lady Gaga.

Wow! As I write this, I am one astonished journo. I mean it’s not everyday there’s a revelation about a celebrity.

Right now its all sun and cotton candy clouds and I’m reading with a pretty amazed look on my face right now, yeah its even a more amazed look than when Rachel Collins kissed me in the park, she always said she hated me cos I was a boy and lets face it, when you’re nine years old, girls and boys just plain stink. Anyway, outta the blue she plants one on my left cheek.

That’s by the by and I’m sure you didn’t click on the tag just to read about me.

So, yeah, I’m reading all this stuff about Lady Gaga and how she may be a man, a he/she, a tranny or what have you.

If this is the case then the world might just end tomorrow. Just so you know, my money is on the monkeys.

Once again, the net goes crazy, teletype is just about catching up, no doubt presses will be rolling, and nifty little fingered print jockeys will be busy tonight.

Like today, tomorrow will be filled with Lady Gaga this and Lady Gaga that. Like, are you fucking serious?

Dude, I couldn’t give a rat’s bare ass who has got what swinging between their legs, or not as the case may be. If someone wants to be dickless for their own amusement or anyone else’s then so be it.

Once again, the world’s attention is focused on pussy and cock, why am I not surprised. I need another cold one to numb my brain against the onslaught of those that suffer from a case of the Dumbus Assicus. 

We got troops overseas being blown all the way to hell and back and what gets the tiny brains attention, yet another story about a celebrity who may or may not have a diggler. Fuck sake, the world is being corroded by shit like this.

I gotta tell you, if shit like this keeps up a trend then at least I’ll be well paid for writing about the morons who lap this up like a ten dollar whore.

Shall we not mention those that are losing their homes, because Billy Wanker the Banker got greedy, or the families that are struggling to pay their bills. God forbid we focus on those attempting to dig themselves out of a hole.

Why don’t we highlight their plight, or the fact that there may be paedophiles in your neighborhood. I’ll tell you why, because in the end, no one gives a flying fuck.

Instead, let’s focus on some non news event that in the end doesn’t make a blind bit of difference to us in either the long or short term.

Well, I suppose there’ll be compensations if this kind of crap carries on. The world will fall in on itself and create a parallel parody of its own self.

If all else fails I’ll crack open another cold one, sit back and wait for the next story then make another buck while I jot down some more notes about this moronic world.

In the end, my sympathies lie with those who have no voice. I can just about see them if I close my beer misted eyes. Yes, there they are wondering why in the hell their story isn’t cared about enough to warrant seven hundred measly words about how they struggled to keep a roof over their heads, clothes on their children’s backs and keep up the insurance payments just like all good people do.

It’s no wonder we’re already fucked.