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More Than Sibling Rivalry

When people actually hate their own relatives turning them into Monsters.

Some psychiatrists call it Sibling hatred syndrome; that is where one brother/sister hates the other
for being more successful.

This hatred is often suppressed, and the resentful sibling will play the accolyte. Until such time as
s/he can manifest that hatred.

Recently, False Memory Syndrome has been found among same sex siblings. The younger, seething
with hatred for the more successful elder, creates a series of abusive memories that never existed.
These memories explain why the younger was not as successful.

We expect that the younger will ‘look up’ to the elder, especially when the elder does have particular
qualities.  He maybe the football hero, the valedictorian, the most popular, the best looking, and the
younger, feeling inadequate to ‘live up to’ the standard, sinks lower than s/he needs to then blames
the elder.

Because the person may seek psychiatric care later in life to deal with the feelings of inadequacy,
and because the idea of ‘abuse’ is so popular,  very often the patient will reveal a long list of
tortures the elder had put him/her through.

Unless the therapist is aware of the liklihood of False Memory, it is more than likely that all the pieces
will ‘fit’ and the abuse move from a fantasy into a reality.

In a particular case, the younger sister, who had never played much of a role in the spectacular
elder’s life, developed this sense of inferiority.

Any negative remark made by the elder was seised upon as verbal abuse.  So when the ten
year old told the seven year old; “Stop being a coward, go into the water”, this was translated
as one might being a prisoner of Abu Gharib. 

Where the elder slapped the younger, this was taken as a beating.

It is not only between brothers and sisters.  There is a resentment among less closely
connected relatives when one is far more successful.

Niobe hated her Aunt who was ten years older.  Her aunt was famous, brilliant, popular, wealthy.
She was nobody, not too bright, unattractive, and was virtually living by begging.

Her Aunt gave her a job in her successful law office as a ‘manager’.  Niobe began stealing,
creating false investment schemes she ran out of the office.  Her Aunt was subsequently
arrested.  This gave Niobe the satisfaction she had always craved.  She had ‘defeated’
her Aunt.

If you are the successful one, be prepared to be hated and resented by members of
your family.  Do not ever hire members of your family. 

If you are not the successful one, understand that the other’s victories or defeats do not
reflect on you.  You are a person in your own right.

If you have ‘memories’ of abuse at the hands of your sibling, examine them carefully.
It may be your subconscious trying to find a safe reason to explain why you are not as
successful.

And therapists be warned, there have been a number of successful lawsuits against
your peers for helping to create or bolster false memories.

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