Come and travel with me, dear readers, to a time long ago. I was a young lady of only seventeen years of age. My life up until this point, was riddled with hardships, pain and great sorrow. I felt alone, empty and lacking of any real knowledge of love and kindness. I was trying to run away, but she kept holding me back. I am speaking of my mother who kept throwing me out, but then having me arrested and charged with being a runaway and incorrigible. I even ran all the way from Westwood to Hillsdale in search of my older sister’s apartment, which she shared with two other girlfriends. I did find it, late one night in the dark, on a cold February night.

Of course she let me stay the night, but unbeknownst to me, she had called my father, who was divorced from my mother at the time. And told him that I just couldn’t stay with her because it just wouldn’t work out. That I needed to go back home. She, of all people, knew too well what that entailed. She had gone through her own piece of hell being in that home, and knew that it was now my turn. But alas, Kathy had no sympathy for her younger sister. None at all.

By the time the afternoon rolled around, there was a knock at her front door. Of course, not suspecting what was to happen, I answered the door. Standing there in front of me were two Police Officers. I tried to slam the door shut as fast as I had mistakenly opened it, but to no avail. I ran for the phone and dialed my father’s number. I was crying into the phone, scared, begging him to please make them leave me alone, and to come and get me out of there. He told me he couldn’t do that, and that I had to go with the Policemen. I just hung up the phone and stood there completely numb. I couldn’t believe she had called my father and they had both decided the best thing to do with me was to have me arrested right at her front door.

They placed me in the back of their car. And off to the Hillsdale Police Department we drove. When we arrived there, a Detective came out to speak with me. He brought me into his office and told me that my mother had charged me with running away, and with being incorrigible. I had no idea what that word even meant at the time. I heard him, but was too scared and sick to even blink. I began to cry again, but this time, I couldn’t control myself, and there was no stopping me. The Detective thought this was, apparently, odd behavior. He asked why I was so upset because I had to go back home. Between sobs and hysteria, I tried to explain to him what I had to endure in that house in which they were planning on sending me back to. He listened silently, and then had a look of complete disbelief on his face. He thought I was lying and making the whole thing up. I assured him I wasn’t lying, but also admitted there was no way of proving what I was saying, was there.

He picked up the file with my name on it, and opened the manila folder. He looked for the phone number of my mother’s house. He dialed it himself. My step-father Gabriel answered. The Detective told him that I had been picked up, and was at the Hillsdale Station ready for them to come and take me home. We sat there for over an hour. Neither my mother nor Gabriel came to pick me up. So the Detective dialed the number again, Gabriel picked up again, and told him they had a flat tire and would be there as soon as possible to retrieve me. We sat there for another two hours. At this point, the Detective was getting angry himself. Instead of dialing yet again, he told a squad car to go to the address of my mother’s and see if they were working on a flat tire. About a half an hour later, they radioed in that, “No, there was no flat tire, and yes they were still at home.” Finally, the Detective seemed to take a more in depth interest in my allegations. I began to tell him stories that I had not told many people before. And he could see why I was so horribly fearful of going back there again. He told me that the state law in New Jersey did not allow that a child was of legal age until the age of eighteen. But that in the state of New York, the legal age was only sixteen.

I did go back there again, I had no choice. She locked me in a room with these really small windows. Windows that I couldn’t get out of if I tried. And she locked the door so that I couldn’t get out. But before she threw me in there, she emptied the room of everything. Nothing on the walls, no sheets, no blankets, and everything in the dressers was taken out as well. All my clothes were thrown at the bottom of the stairs, so that everybody else had to walk all over my things in order to get by. She left it all there for me to clean up after a week of being on the floor.

I have suffered from migraines since I was born, and became very sick that night she finally arrived to drag me home. She refused to let me eat anything. I didn’t deserve it. And she always had locks on the cabinets and on the refrigerator. There was also a lock on the telephone. I was so sick with a migraine that I was vomiting all over the floor in the locked room I was trapped in. I cried myself to sleep. But knew that was only the beginning. The next day when she unlocked that door, and tossed me out. She ordered me to get to school. I was not allowed to eat any breakfast. And nobody else, my siblings, were allowed to look at me or even speak to me. When I got back from school, I was locked back in the room. Again, nobody was allowed to speak to me or look at me. When they had dinner. I was not allowed to eat with them. She did let me have a sandwich later on that night. I sat in the dark, alone at the kitchen table and ate it and then was locked back up in that room.

If you can imagine how I felt. I’m not sure words can describe my feelings. I was so upset. I never knew for my entire life, what I had ever done to deserve the treatment that was so readily dished out to me. I tried with all that I was to get her to love me. Anything she wanted me to do, I did. When she told me to steal things, I stole them. When she made me go to places, strangers homes, and stay the night and things happened. I did it. Always trying to get her approval and love. But never obtaining it. Never. I was a shell of a human being. I had nothing to live for. I didn’t know what to do anymore. It was just getting worse and worse each day. She seemed to hate me so much, I couldn’t imagine what would be in store for me each time I stepped through that door. I just hated being.

But hold fast, dear readers, for God in His infinite wisdom, had plans for this child. And the main one, was getting me out of the state of New Jersey and into New York, amen! It all happened because of a babysitting job I had with a lady down the street. She was moving to New Paltz, New York, and wanted me to come and stay for just the summer to help her set up her new home. Of course, I was a live in maid and babysitter for her. I was really great at working. That’s all I did my whole life. Clean, baby sit, work on farms, you name it, my mother had me doing it. And all the money went directly into her pretty pockets. So to my mother, this was just another opportunity for some free cash for the entire summer, off of my work. She agreed. I was amazed and so excited about leaving the state of New Jersey. Of course, my mother had no idea about anything, and I made sure she didn’t get any indication about what my plans were.

Nancy saved my life that year dear readers. She was kind, caring and taught me what a true family was supposed to be like. I had never experienced it before I lived with her. And it was heavenly! Here I had thrown myself out of a two story window to try and escape my mother – ran through a plate glass door trying to escape her. And now, here I was actually free of her for the first time in almost two decades of torment.

Who could imagine that being arrested and on the brink of death could actually have been what had eventually saved me? Nancy taught me that I was worth something. That I had a brain in my head and I wasn’t just nothing. Being in New Paltz taught me so many things that it would take pages and pages to share with you. One of the best moments that I will share is my high school graduation. Of course my mother didn’t show. But my father did. He told me I could pick anywhere I wanted for a special dinner after my graduation. So I chose the Mohonk Mountain house. I had spent much of my free time there, and I was in love with it. It was one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever been to in my entire life, and I still love it to this very day. I danced with my father that night. It was the first time I had ever done so. There is nothing I could possibly change that would make that night any better than it was. It was beyond perfect for me. I am so grateful to Nancy and all that she did for me and with me. If there was ever a guardian angel, indeed Nancy was mine. She helped me get through some pretty tough times enduring what I had endured with my mother. I have her to thank for not only my physical well being, but my emotional state of being as well. Only because of Nancy can I sit here today and share such accomplishments of my life with you readers. Only because of Nancy can I say that my life is complete. I’m old and gray now my patient readers, and my own children know all about the story of Nancy and how she saved my life. I never ever had to go back to my mother’s after that summer of 1976 – sharing this story has been very hard because as you all know, you really must relive such events completely in order to totally share them with others. Nancy was only in my life for a little over a year, but changed it more than anyone has ever done. To this day she is a part of who I am, and how I came to be me.