Shapes of Life

Mine was actually a pretty normal childhood compared to most today. I was raised by my biological mother’s parents; who I will refer to as mom and dad in this recounting; which I usually do anyway. They were pretty proud of me, or so they kept saying. From a certain stand point of view I suppose they were. I rarely gave my parent’s any trouble. I did as I was told, but as most family units we had our share of differences such as the kinds of clothing I wanted to wear and foods I preferred to eat and what I wanted to do with my life when I became an adult.

As I look back my childhood was sort of magical. The sky was mostly clear blue, birds sang beautifully, the fully bloomed flowers smelled so wonderful as did the freshly cut grass. I use to love walking in the soft rains of Southern California. I even remembered walking by Orange Groves and really small farms. I remember living behind a Drive In Theater watching the fireworks on the 4th of July one year. I even learned how to ride a horse.

I was raised as an only child even though I had other siblings, three by my biological mother and more then I could count by my biological father; which I may never meet most of. My magical childhood was marred only by my biological mother and her deep seeded un-forgiveness of her mother and pure hatred of her step-dad and me and my mom’s abusiveness to my dad. Oh my biological mother had her reasons; unfortunately they were all selfish ones that ate her up over the many years of her life and forever separating me from my sisters and brother of that family. I wouldn’t know anything about my biological father and his side of the family until I would be in my 30’s.

It was my biological mother’s mistreatment of her mother and me and my mom’s mistreatment of dad that was instrumental in shaping me into what I am today. In some respects I was quite mature even as a child, I was always seeking the reasons for why certain members of my family acted as they did. As a child none of it made any sense, but then the treatment I received from others around me didn’t either.