The Best of The Celebrity Sex Tapes

     Celebrity sex tapes have become a part of our culture.  We sexualize everything in America; our stars are, in the end, nothing more than our popular fantasies.  There is no method to the madness… There are times when the tapes are intentionally released; Dustin Diamond (Screech from Saved By The Bell) went so far as to release one and publicize it with the express intention of reviving his career. (Didn’t quite work out for him).

     Many of these tapes are done intentionally, although the celebrities involved rarely admit to such.  Carrie Prejean’s tape was conspicuous in it’s timing, coming out shortly before her new book.  Other celebrities are unaware until the general public already has them, but they rarely fail to find a way to cash in.

     The bottom line is this… we love seeing our celebrities in the act, and that isn’t going to change.  It isn’t always a guarantee to continued fame and fortune, but it is a near certainty that it will buy you a quick extra 15 minutes to cash in.

     Here are some of the greatest hits;  some of the celebrities with tapes and their stories.  We know they’re tasteless, we know they’re tacky, and we can’t get enough of them.

Paris Hilton

Perhaps the most worthless celebrity in the our history, but we cant get enough of her.  Her videos have been downloaded umpteen million times.  This month.

Pamela Anderson

Have floatation devices ever been this noticed?  Throw in Tommy Lee’s… uh… dimensions, and you’ve got a hall of famer.

Alyson Hannigan

We know her from Buffy the Vampire Slayer and American pie, she’s a multi hit wonder on the sex tape circuit as well.

Anna Nichole Smith

God rest her sould, but this woman was stupid.  And we loved her… and her extensive collection of sex tapes.

Britney Spears

Britney, Britney, Britney… who needs class when you can do that?

Chyna

Chyna got awful dirty…

Megan Fox

She of Transformers fame has one of the most sought after… and hard to find.

Kim Kardashian

This one’s right up there with Paris Hilton’s.

Linsay Lohan

Ok, so no one was surprised by this one.  Doesn’t stop us from watching it.

Eve

The rap diva’s tape is far less known but just as… hot.

     That’s all for now, kids… Ho Ho He He Ha Ha…