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The Messed-up Helping Philosphy

Are we really helping the right way?

And the word hate is the worst part of it all. We hate what’s going on but we don’t tell anyone because we’ll be deemed as immoral people. But that’s not the real point. The real point is we actually forgot the real reason why we help those in need. It isn’t because we were born as middle class or upper classmen. It isn’t because we have a two storey house and other live under the bridge. We should help because we care. The problem with that philosophy is, it doesn’t teach us to care. It just teaches us to shoulder other people’s problems. That’s something we should not do because in the end, it will just end up with people hating the poor instead of caring for them.

When I started working, I hated tax. I hated how a chunk of my money disappears into corrupted officials’ pockets and poor peoples’ throats. I hated how I couldn’t buy really good food because of tax. I really hated how society deems it necessary that we help the poor. Then suddenly, I was faced with financial issues. I suddenly hated how a poor person could just beg for money from the government and I can’t. And I know I’m not the only one. I’ve heard taxpayers voicing out how unfair the system is. How we pay the money and don’t get it back. We talk about the irony. We talk about how we are aware of the situation but don’t have any idea of how to solve it. Then when someone comes along and says we should give money for the poor, we paste plastic smiles and say, “Here’s what I can help you with!”

The only time that I started caring for people in need was because of my boyfriend. One day, he gave money to this elderly woman who was asking for alms beside an ATM. I didn’t like it because he was promoting poor people to keep asking for alms. In response, my boyfriend said, “I won’t give money to a young child or middle aged person. These people have enough strength and brainpower to look for ways to get money. I’d rather give my money to those old people who are too weak, tired or sickly to find something to eat or find somewhere to sleep.”

That got me thinking. We should not help those people who society deems as needy. We should help people who have already exhausted all means necessary and have not yet achieved their basic needs. Put it this way, why help someone who has two feet when someone without feet needs a job? Why help someone who would spend money on alcohol when someone who can’t afford rice needs it more? Why reward parents who ended up with ten children when a parent who restrained himself/herself to only one or three children? Why give the money to the parents who have ten children when the ten children need it more than them? We should learn to discern the people who we help because if we don’t we end up with people who think we are required to help them. That will make taxpayers hate them in the end. Yes we should share our blessings but only share it to those who will strive hard to make it work. We should also help them the right way. The right ways to help a poor drunkard is not by giving him money and expect him to buy food for his family. The right way is to fund for counseling programs or rehab. The point is we are not required to help. We should care to help. We should not help every single person who seems needy. We look for people who are REALLY needy. We should not just help people. We have to know the right way of helping people.

And if we do this, then perhaps this messed up helping philosophy won’t mess us up anymore.

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