Tiger’s Harem: The Many Mistresses of Tiger Woods. (And The Sex Tape!)
by The many trees in Tiger’s Woods.
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Ok, we’ve all taken our shots at Tiger. I know I have. The man is a pig. He’s feeling the flames here, which is marvelous. But this is quickly turning from a flash in the pan story to an epic ‘holy shit’ moment. Had Mr. squeaky clean simply had an affair, America would have forgiven him. It isn’t as if we’r a moral country, contrary to what your friendly neighborhood conservatives would have you believe. We forgave our President for his little indiscretion in the oval office, didn’t we?
But then came the second…. and the third…. prostitutes and porn stars started climbing out of the woodwork. You start to wonder where Tiger found all of this time! Raising a family, dominating the PGA tour, and going all Wilt Chamberlain! I have a great visual; remember the game where the little groundhogs would pop up out of the holes, and you’d try to bop them down with a mallet? He’s playing a very public, almost amusing virsion, but his groundhogs all seem to have blonde hair and big boobs.
So while Tiger may not have been able to keep his ducks in a row, here’s a bit of a roll call, so we will be able to:
Rachel Uchitel
A 34 year old party promoter.
Quote: “I’m not a “home wrecker, gold digger, tramp, whore … I’m not those things. I have very good qualities. When you’re judged by the nation, it’s really difficult. It’s horrible.”
If the shoe fits, darlin’….
Jaimee Grubbs
24 year old best known for her role on VH1’s ‘Tool Academy’. Provided us with wonderfully embarrassing texts and voice messages from Tiger.
Kalika Moquin
A high rolling Vegas club employee, this one is waiting to talk, but has denied nothing.
Tiger Quote: “I’ve met her twice in my life. We’re not friends. I’m just speculating but it seems like someone else is telling her what to say or manipulating her. After all, she got $25,000 for this.” (Before she released proof, obviously)
Jamie Jungers
An underwear model who has had no qualms about telling us all very specific details. (See link below)
Cori Rist
A 31 year old ‘Party Girl’…
Mindy Lawton
A 33 year old Perkins manager; was Tiger’s tryst while the wife was knocked up.
Holly Sampson
Just like the pic says, it’s Tiger’s porn star. This one has been bragging about it for months.
Joslyn James
Miss Piggy
Having slept with everyone else, and obviously being something of a sex addict, Tiger has apparently been involved with Ms. Piggy for over a year. Rumor has it they even made a video.
There are more coming, as well. Of course, for the record, some of these are merely alegations at this point. The consensus seems to be that he’s waiting to see just how much proof they all have, so he knows which ones to deny.
There are, for the record, a few women he has not slept with. In the interest of fairness, here they are.
That’s all of them, people. Stay tuned: new Tiger trysts will be announced every day until the world ends in 2012.
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Post CommentRinks Desai
On December 11, 2009 at 6:17 am
beutiful…
Fabian C
On December 11, 2009 at 7:05 am
Although I must disagree with Rinks’ comment, this article was interesting.
Der Kommissar
On December 11, 2009 at 10:08 am
Are you sure he hasn’t slept with Susan Boyle? Nice one I almost fell off my futon when I heard about the “sex tape”
LovelyWolf
On December 11, 2009 at 6:13 pm
I know of very few celebs that are actually good and faithful…
DriftingInsomnia
On December 11, 2009 at 7:21 pm
ahh… these stories just keep on getting better and better…
Natali
On December 12, 2009 at 4:03 am
Ha ha. Like it. Mrs piggy was the best catch
thestickman
On December 12, 2009 at 10:29 am
Damn guy you forgot RuPaul! He tapped that too probably…
cookiemonster5436
On December 12, 2009 at 11:10 am
I cannot believe that his wife wants to try and work this out there is no way this will work with Tiger and his wifey
xtine
On December 12, 2009 at 2:16 pm
One hot article. LOL
serowa
On December 12, 2009 at 3:38 pm
This sounds very familiar. It seems when someone does well there is always someone or some people waiting for them to make a mistake, and bang, “you are no better than us”.
So what’s new? He is just a man that proves that humanity is doomed without God. We all have weaknesses and perhaps instead of celebrating when somebody falls it would be wise to first take out the log in our own eyes.
Leaders and the so called celebrities are a reflection of society only no one cares about the man next door cheating on his wife or sleeping around. Such hypocracy makes me sick!!!
dementor338
On December 12, 2009 at 6:43 pm
im giving u a i like it. use google and search for “the pps is a portable ps3″ and click on i like it to pay me back or else i wont view any of your articles and you’ll be making less money.
Mike Crowl
On December 12, 2009 at 8:10 pm
Hope you had fun pulling Tiger down, gossiping about someone without much proof about all these supposed details. Seems to me that Jesus told us that it’s only those who haven’t sinned themselves who should start throwing stones at other people.
M Dalton
On December 12, 2009 at 9:48 pm
Poor guy having his life layed out like a old ragged paper .I don’t give a dam who he slept with .It’s none of my buz and it really shouldn’t be yours ! Like to see what you’d do if they were probing though your life.
V rank
On December 13, 2009 at 12:01 am
Looking forward for a day when Tiger meets Boyle… lolz… cross fingers… hehehe..
A. Fool
On December 13, 2009 at 1:08 am
When Tiger said his wife ‘went ghetto’ I found it far more offensive than anything else. Here is a self hating black man who goes after the whitest women he can find and when his wife reacts to his behaviour; I’m surprised he didn’t charge her for misrepresentations’
“You honour, I married a blonde white woman, expecting her to just take this crap, but she acted like a black woman.”
That is what the term ‘went ghetto’ means.
He’s a repulsive toad.
BluSphere
On December 13, 2009 at 8:05 am
leave the man alone. lol
jhonathan17
On December 14, 2009 at 2:02 am
jajaajaa very nice dude!!!!!!!!
plz add me like friend
Jamie Myles
On December 14, 2009 at 2:31 am
Ilike the way you handled this topic. you made your point but keppt it light and humorous.
sophiemarie
On December 14, 2009 at 6:43 am
I must say reading this was a waste of my time, I enjoy watching Tiger Woolf play golf, the rest is private, is really none of my business and frankly doesn’t interest me at all. It looks like you enjoy all this, it’s indecent …
Michael Eboh
On December 14, 2009 at 8:50 am
Thanks!
K.Reshma
On December 14, 2009 at 11:32 am
Oh! It’s too hot
Payge
On December 14, 2009 at 12:51 pm
He showed he was just as human and made mistakes like the rest of us do..but just on a much bigger scale.Its realy none of my or anyones else business what he did ,but his wife will make him paybig time for his numerous affairs.I dont like sports..much less gold and definatly dont care what Tiger does.I ill care what he does when he pays my rent and internet bills for me.Its him and his family he messed up with his cheating,,he really didnt hurt the rest of us.Other then that, an interesting article and the miss piggy insert was funny.
Jerry Jose
On December 14, 2009 at 2:42 pm
You included a lot of pictures.
Izzy Daniels
On December 14, 2009 at 4:18 pm
This was a pretty funny article, I would say this though comb over with spell checker next time and proof read it. I found one or two errors here
thestickman
On December 14, 2009 at 5:49 pm
Yeah, -’sex tape’ caught my attention too..
Like the sex addicted David Duchovny although being married to Téa Leoni would totally make me a sex addict too (I am assuming however, that David’s addiction went outside of the marriage… pity)
SharifaMcFarlane
On December 15, 2009 at 1:49 am
I think it`s pretty hard to ignore what`s happening with Tiger-given that the way women keep popping up really makes it look like some kind of bizarre movie. I imagine his wife must be a really strong person.
Fruit Sensation
On December 15, 2009 at 3:47 am
That article was funny as.Miss Piggy and Tiger together? Hey that was the funniest bit.
Check out the article below on Tiger as well:
http://socyberty.com/people/tiger-woods-scandal-worsens-can-the-legend-survive-the-onslaught/
shattuck1991
On December 15, 2009 at 3:42 pm
Well, Tiger has made his money with the skill to use the least amount of strokes to get it in the hole. No surprise he made it with the Miss Piggy.
albert1jemi
On December 15, 2009 at 5:48 pm
lol what a life for all celebrites
The Reporter
On December 15, 2009 at 7:49 pm
LOL, what caught my attention was the title.
“Tiger’s Harem?” Wow…..
BTW: It’s haram not harem
… and Haram mean forbidden by islamic law not a big sin.
(e.g: Adultery is haram,”) not (I committed Haram.”)
strovek
On December 15, 2009 at 8:10 pm
Seems that every decade we have one who makes the headlines. Just like the last decade, we had Michael, not Tiger.
It’s so sad who we take pleasure in these kinds of expose!
Lucy is me
On December 16, 2009 at 12:04 am
LOL, Susan Boyle?!
gaby7
On December 16, 2009 at 8:12 am
His wife starved him emotionally and I believe he was just being human. Did I hear that they had a pre-nuptial agreement of $300,000 and that she has now bought a House in Denmark? She drove Tiger to this to get a chunk of his huge fortune
lillyrose
On December 16, 2009 at 10:47 am
WOW…you have had lots of comments on this! your article made me laugh but this is like the David Beckham thing and all those women may not be telling the whole truth. If he has done this to his family, I hope his wife lets him have it!