Twilight/stephen King Wars Escalate!!!

Stephanie Meyer has had a fun weekend. 

She bought the house she always wanted — it’s specialty made of ceiling-to-floor Jacuzzis and whirlpools. 

She paid off her student loan at whatever school she went to that she’ll be invited to make a commencement speech at — and tell 50,000 kids that, how while hard at work on her original amateur manuscript for New Moon when she was 19, she was scooted out of one campus computer cluster after another for some little statistical theory class, of which there are 8 students and more then 75 computers. 

Better then that, she got a phone call from her hero Stephen King!

“Oh wow,” said King, wiping his butt at the moment with thousand dollar bills, “New Moon really did good at the box office. You should be proud. PWWWWWWW!!!”

“Why the PWWWW?!” Meyer asked.

“Because you can’t write,” King said.

“Sure I can, Steve-a-rino.” 

“Vampire baseball?”

“Shut up!”

“You know if your young fans would only put out more,” King snided, “maybe a kiss from a boy wouldn’t seem like a bite from a vampire, did they ever think of that?” 

“It’s not the 1970s, Stevie darling,” Meyer told him. “Publishers aren’t going to come tackling each other trying to sign me if I’m bringing them stories about girls having their period and all the other girls throwing tampons at her and yelling for her to ‘plug it up’.”

“Oh yeah…well I’m Stephen King!”

Meyer shook her head. “Goodbye, Stevanold.”