Am I Ugly: A Philosophical Interlude

I sat down last night with this question. Gnawing at my conscience, this question seemed to jeopardizing my very existence. So many thoughts raced across my minds horizon. As I ran, arms reaching, they never inched closer. Suddenly, I caught a glimpse of my past. A happier time. When beauty flowed freely. Is beauty ruled by emotion? Could happiness be the overlord of vision? Is sadness no more than a rebellious dictator with a love for the blind? Or is it happiness that is fighting for approval?

Then, I thought for myself. For the first time in what seemed an eternity, I shrugged off the burden of society. My home-made answer seemed insignificant as my gaze, now star bound, drifted from star to star. The sky was clear as crystal and each dot was in a significant pattern. Feeling deeply lost with depression overtaking, I cried out “God why? Why give me this ability to write, even without remembering my true self?” Then, it hit me. It was as if he took the stars and wrote the answer in diamonds. His answer was simply, “Who cares? Look at these blessings that, through enduring hell, you’ve obtained. Whether through my help or your own trials, you have acquired these abilities and your journey was fruitful.”

Yet, asking these questions and knowing these answers, there is just something about sadness. This mask that we all wear. Sadness is an overwhelming darkness, but the smallest light shines bright in a shadow. Some how it seems that just when you become happy once more, someone that is closest to you comes back to remind you of all your flaws. Almost as if this entity dropped from the sky and warned, “They’re happy. You need to attack or happiness overtakes them. They are weak but you are strong. Show them your power.” Then it happens. Sadness consumes, and your happiness is once again lost. For it has decided to hide until it can once again remind you of how great you are, but for now it waits. Hidden beneath dust and shadow, until a ray of hope can shine once more.

Sadness will always be the stronger, for it cannot be swayed by a smile, but a smile will always be tainted by words of hatred. What most people fail to realize is that even a room with no windows, can be fully lit by a single candle. Protect that flickering flame for it can be suffocated by sadness and eternal beauty will never shine through.