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Healing Power of Forgiveness

Err is human, but forgive is divine.

“I can forgive, but I can’t forget, is only another way of saying, I will not forgive. Forgiveness ought to be like a cancelled note -torn in two and burnt up, so that it never can be shown against one.” (Henry Ward Beecher)

How do you feel about this? Life is full of arguments. Some of them are serious or petty ones. There are misunderstandings that can lead to harsh arguments and these can take two people to not to speak to each other again -husband and wife, two brothers or two sisters.

Years ago, I had a sour argument with my only sister. We kept apart without getting in touch with each other for a couple of years. Obviously, I felt bad. I thought of ways to amend and to be in good terms with my sister again. Why  should we be apart from each other when we are only the two of them? It seemed to work and we started to be in contact again. I know that we’ll never have a harmonious relationship, because we are way too different in many ways, but whenever I call her up or I call on her, I try to keep in mind that two people won’t have an argument if one of them doesn’t want to.

Forgiveness relieves our shoulders of a heavy weight. It makes feel lighter and happier. Why shouldn’t we forgive even if this person has been mean to us?

As in Henry ward Beecher’s quote, some people tend to say that they can forgive, but they can’t forget. How hypocrite this is! If one can forgive, one must forget too. One can’t go without the other.

Unless there is an important inheritance in which there is a lot of money and properties, many of the arguments are caused by domestic issues that could be sorted having a serious conversation. One side should be ready to listen to the other and viceversa and out of this conversation there should be a fair deal.

Life is in fact short. Even if one lives to old age, it is short. Are we going to spend our lifetime quarrelling or keeping apart for things that are in fact petty issues?

WAYS TO ADDRESS TO THE OTHER SIDE TO AMEND

It goes without saying that putting in writing what we want to tell them is a good way, but if we’re going to write them a letter, we should avoid being resentful or critical on the other person’s attitude. We should put the matter forward in a way that the two are losing a lot but not being in good terms.

It may work calling the person to have a chat over the telephone as if nothing had happened.

Remembering anniversaries may be another excuse to get in touch in a friendly way. Even if this person to whom we are trying to approach is resentful one, they are also sensitive people and they will always appreciate a treat.

However, and after having tried it hard to amend and to be in good terms with the other person fails, the only option left would be to forget them forever. But be resentful not. 

Copyright (C) Vicky Pino. September 17th 2012. Rights reserved.

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  1. marqjonz

    On September 17, 2012 at 9:39 am


    Good advice. I think getting over being “resentful and critical of the other person’s attitude” is a huge problem. Once you get past that, it’s much easier to work things out. Good to see you back on Triond.

  2. Farzeela Fee Faisal

    On September 17, 2012 at 11:47 am


    Very few among us possess the nerves to forgive and forget… its not that easy as it appears in words!

  3. lauralu

    On September 17, 2012 at 11:51 am


    Good article an unforgiving heart can make us sick

  4. Secre22

    On September 17, 2012 at 11:52 am


    I was always taught that to forgive but not forget was like burying a shovel and leaving the handle sticking out – it’s bound to get pulled out in future arguments.

  5. manish007

    On September 17, 2012 at 1:12 pm


    Wonderful share.

  6. manish007

    On September 17, 2012 at 1:13 pm


    Amazing share.

  7. stevetheblogger

    On September 17, 2012 at 1:54 pm


    Vicky wonderful article Many Thanks
    stevetheblogger

  8. stevetheblogger

    On September 17, 2012 at 1:55 pm


    Vicky wonderful article Many Thanks
    stevetheblogger

  9. Martin Kloess

    On September 17, 2012 at 8:56 pm


    Good work thank you for sharing.

  10. smokychristine

    On September 17, 2012 at 9:52 pm


    This is one of the greatest truths of life. Thanks.

  11. sheilanewton

    On September 20, 2012 at 4:23 pm


    Wow – thanks for sharing this. It’s a great story.

  12. momofplenty

    On September 25, 2012 at 1:41 pm


    Certainly, great advice. I am a forgivor and a mender. I am also a diffuser….. the less we fight the more we love and the more we love, the more we have joy. Very well written Vickylass, so glad to see you posting again.

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