Our Existential Aloneness

This loneliness that seems to grab me comes from the familiarity of always having a human being to experience the nuances of my life and to share all my fears and joys with on a daily basis. It’s just that, familiarity… must learn to see that all things come to an end, no matter how much delusion I want to grab hold of. I don’t want an end to this familiarity in my life. Let’s face it, I’m afraid. I’ve always been afraid of so many things.

I’ve always pushed forward, on-ward and up-ward, pushed to my ultimate dream of having a large family and a successful business. Now I have those things, but I’m still afraid of things, but I now realize that the only real thing I have is my faith to carry on with my life to it’s ultimate conclusion and to live prayerfully for God. By asking Him to just let me touch someone today, I am in hope that whatever I’ve done in my 55+ years of life, all my successes, all my failings, all my rebellion, can be somehow passed on to someone else. Maybe it’s my kids, maybe it’s some homeless guy that just needs a friendly face to see a chance for a way out. Maybe those homeless folks don’t want out, they just want to see someone from the other side and know that people like me want to send them God’s love, that somehow I could be a reflection of that love. That’s all I can do, because Him being the ultimate captain of my ship, all I have a hope for is to pass it on, because no-one get’s out of here alive, so we can if we want, move God out, but it’s not going to make anything better, only worse. To have Him is to have hope for something greater in the next existence, one with which we hope there will be no fear, no loneliness and only joy, peace and happiness. It all sounds so corny and 1st grade religion type stuff, doesn’t it? It should because as we get older, we must get younger, hopefully it will lead to our ultimate redemption from all sin and failings of our previous, pride-filled life. It’s time to accept Jesus into my heart and face the future with hope and confidence.