When I Thought My Life Was Boring

When I thought my life was boring, because I stayed in the house most of the time.  When everyone work and go somewhere, I stayed at home with nothing else to do except facing my laptop and doing face-book or chatting with some friends on-line.  It was in those times when I thought I was so useless since I couldn’t land a job or get a volunteer work within the area.  My feelings were so depressed that I couldn’t even explain it.  When I confide to my friends about my life, they would all say, “How Lucky You Are to be just at home!”, so I just stopped sharing about my frustrations.  Sometimes when I got full, and want to spill some of it out of my heart, I just cried at night  a pillow hugged in me.

You see, when a person has nothing to or doing the same routine all day everyday day in 4 years, it felt like you are dying.  I was like dying!  I get jealous with how the people around me, came home late because of their work.  I know Overtime isn’t an attractive word, but at least they have something to look forward to during Salary day!.

Since I also have a relative who is so lazy, I started believing that maybe it really runs in the blood or maybe I got a share of some of his DNA.  The more I felt so insecure because why both of my parents are hardworking and yet me, who wants to work my butt hard out can’t.  It was so unfair I thought.

But then, I got some of the answers.  I have lack of confidence.  When I was in high school I so wanted to work during summer, and my parents did not let me because I should concentrate with studies first.  What they really did not understand, is that it wasn’t all about the studies, but about self trust or confidence.  I considered myself pampered, and I would say, it isn’t really a good idea.  It didn’t help me to become what I wanted to be.

I just share some part of my life.  I am so talkative in person, that they all say why not try to write them instead.  But I believed that I am not a good writer! but I am trying.