Adolescent Bipolar Disorder: A Mother’s Story

We’ve been battling her bipolar disorder since we didn’t know what it was or how to treat it. We can now give her disorder a name, but sometimes that doesn’t make life any easier; how ironic is that? She can’t seem to focus or concentrate, but any ADHD meds create manic episodes with her. Sexual acting-out is a symptom of bipolar disorder, as is impulsive behavior of all kinds. School is an endless challenge for my gifted child. I don’t know if she’ll graduate this year or what she’ll do in the years to come.

Right now her adolescent bipolar disorder is moving into the adult disorder, so the poor girl is dealing with both, almost. She’s still aggressive and irritable, but now she’s going from sleeping constantly to staying up for days at a time. That’s a clear cycling symptom, something she didn’t have before.

Elizabeth’s brain-the part of her that was her best friend from infancy-the mechanism that gave her a first word at eight months of age and gave her the gift of reading at age four, has become her worst enemy. How does a person deal with that knowledge? Not easily.

And I, her mother, have to stand by quite often and watch her self destruct. I can give her meds, explain her situation to teachers and other parents and “be there” for her, but I can’t take this on and I can’t “fix” it. I have to watch her and know that I can’t help for the most part. She has to learn to cope. She has to deal with the disorder. I CAN’T FIX IT. And THAT makes me crazy.

The preceding account of my biplar daughter’s beginning struggle with the disorder was written almost two years ago. She wasn’t able to make it all the way to her high school graduation, even though she was only three credits short. One gym teacher made a derogatory comment about how “she’d never make it” while she was standing right next to him, and that was enough to make it so. It doesn’t take much for a mood disordered adolescent to spiral downward. She’s intellectually very far ahead but emotionally very far behind. The struggle continues.