Dealing with Violence

In family therapy focused on substance abuse, therapists witness many of their clients’ emotions. Therapists call the amount of emotional investment a family has in therapy “emotional intensity.” The reason that therapists use the term emotional intensity is because of the different kinds of emotional reactions family members will have towards each other. This term can be used to describe the family’s emotional behavior in therapy and also outside of therapy. The therapist evaluates emotional intensity the therapeutic atmosphere and works on lowering it to a calm atmosphere where progress can begin. However, emotional intensity outside of therapy is something that the therapist has no control over. This is why violence is such a big issue when it comes to therapy.

Emotional intensity is “expressing intense emotions, engaging in arguments, and spiraling patterns of conflict” (page 69). However, emotional, physical and sexual violence are also intense behaviors that can reflect intense emotions in all those involved. These emotions need to be acknowledged in hopes of preventing future violence. A study in 1997 showed that “between 60 and 70 percent of violent men commit assaults against their female partners while intoxicated and 13 to 20 percent assault their partners while using other drugs” (page 70). This correspondence between substance abuse and violence is impossible to ignore. Family therapists treating substance abusers must be prepared for violence to be part of the problem and work on ensuring safety for all those involved before treatment can begin.

Understanding emotional intensity and violence means understanding exactly what abuse is. There are four classifications of abuse that therapists use: physical violence, sexual violence, destruction of property and harming pets, and psychological violence. All these classifications seem pretty straight forward, however, definitions must be widened for variety. Therapists include pushing, shoving, grabbing, holding someone against their will, slapping, kicking, choking, scratching, punching, pulling hair, biting, physically forcing someone around, and using objects or weapons for the same effect as physical violence. All of these behaviors are not justified except in situations of self-defense. Any of these behaviors, if performed to hurt someone for any reason or another are illegal and must be evaluated for the victim’s safety (page 70).

Sexual violence is a very delicate issue, but a very serious problem. All threats of or physical sexual behaviors forced on a person against their will are sexual abuse. Under law, there are penalties for sex between a man and woman that is not consented or statutory. However, marriage does not necessarily mean consent at all times, which is why sexual violence between spouses can be overlooked at times. As mentioned before, threats are also unacceptable behavior that is considered violence. Other than threats, discussions of sexual behaviors that are not consented are violent as well. This ties into psychological violence as well because putting these ideas about sex into someone’s head can hurt them emotionally and is most certainly violence.