Dysfunctional Family; Majority of One

In the 1960s there was a sit-com called ‘The Munsters’.   Everyone, except ‘Marilyn’ was a monster. The father was Frankenstein, the Uncle was Dracula, every member, save Marilyn was out of a nightmare. 

With the image of five Monsters and one normal person first in thought, understand that in many dysfunctional families there is one ‘normal’ person. 

That ‘normal’ person, being in the minority, often keeps readjusting reality to match that of the majority. The belief is that; everyone can’t be wrong, I must be wrong is what sends people into psychiatrist’s offices.

The Majority of One is never so obvious as in the dysfunctional family.  And the One must have some outside support to confirm the fact that s/he is the ‘Marilyn’ living in the Munster house.

It is not unusual for a woman who has grown in an abusive family to marry an abusive man. This is because the idea of ‘normalcy’ involves violence.  Hence the man, who has also grown up in an abusive environment is behaving ‘normally’ according to the standards in his Munster home.

There are often ‘repititions’ in families.  The younger sibling who resents the elder,  recreating the past to change the jealousy he felt as emanating from the elder.   When one questions what the elder was jealous  of one gains a revamped version of reality.

In some families there is the alignment of one child with a parent against another child.  Where the other is forced out, the parent and remaining child  build their alliance on the faults of the absent one, recreating a past that didn’t happen to give them a basis for a relationship.

Like a class reunion where all you have in common with these people is that Mr. Printz was your social studies teacher, so too in families where the only real link is the animosity they feel towards another.

Many times the ‘Marilyn’ believes  that; “Everyone feels this way, I must be wrong..” not appreciating that s/he is living in the Munster family, and it is dysfunctional, and will never be functional, and getting out of it is the only solution.

If you feel this way, it is very possible that you are living in a Munster house; recognise it.