Embarrassing Moments
They only last a minute or two but they tell us a lot about human nature.
Embarrassing moments….I have had several BIG ones. There is something about these moments that leaves a permanent marking on our insides. Not one that hurts, but one that reminds us that we are survivors because we lived through it. We like to talk about these moments sometimes. Like to share with those who were not there to witness us at our lowest….complete with red face, a brain that flat out refused to accept what had just transpired, and a blocking out of the reaction of others until we were able to recover and breathe. Embarrassment doesn’t FEEL like failure. It FEELS like, for a moment, standing naked in a room filled with people and no way out, completely exposed and helpless. Like your head wants to blow up off of your neck and orbit the earth. I get the “willies” just thinking about it.
Embarrassing moments vary from person to person. I embarrass easily. I know a few people who have found a way to disguise their embarrassment, all the way down to keeping that flushed red look at bay. I wonder sometimes if that’s healthy…if it’s healthy to WILL YOURSELF to stop something that flows so naturally like embarrassing moments do. Wonder what goes on inside of people who can do that. And, have also noticed that THOSE people are my least favorite. They don’t have a “humor bone”. When that’s not there, I know it almost immediately. These are the people that NEVER LAUGH at themselves, but find great joy in other people’s blunders.
I think there are many reasons why embarrassment is felt in moments, and not days or weeks. Reasons why, as painful as it feels while in those moments, we often remember them with a fondness, and share them with others.
These moments are powerful. They reduce us somehow…make us feel like a marble among bowling balls. But, the flip side, and what makes these moments so VERY SPECIAL, is that the people who witness them are often times EQUALLY embarrassed. THAT is the real beauty of these moments. We are momentarily reduced and flattened so completely, that we don’t even notice that those witnessing us at our lowest, are offering us something….
Empathy
And, the true beauty of embarrassing moments is that this offering isn’t thought out or planned. The empathy FLOWS as a natural, human, response WITHOUT thinking or rationalizing. It happens, because when a person has been stripped naked without any notice, WE RESPOND with instinct. And, our instinct tells us to put ourselves in the other person’s shoes, and imagine how we’d feel. And, we CAN do that IMMEDIATELY. We ARE capable. It’s a lot like the way people respond in emergencies. There’s no time to think. We react. And, once the moment passes, we are back to business as usual….thinking about cause and effect, investment and return. Manipulating our world and the people in it, to get what we want from life. Extending kindness when it serves us.
Maybe we should all strive to have MORE embarrassing moments……or more empathy.
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User Comments
ruby
On February 9, 2009 at 9:55 am
what I like most about your writing, is your interesting topic choices and your unconventional way of looking at things. It seems you are capable of writing a whole article about a moment in time.
Kate Smedley
On February 9, 2009 at 11:00 am
I’m always embarrassing myself! You raised some interesting points there Gianne, a completely different viewpoint of what embarrassment is and its effects, thank you.
Joni Keith
On February 9, 2009 at 5:01 pm
I’d never thought of it in these terms before. Very interesting food for thought.
lauraS
On February 9, 2009 at 5:25 pm
Are you one of those people that feels things very intensley? I read this and understood exactly what you’re saying. I would not have thought of it though, or been able to even recognize it, yet I know it happens. Really, really unusual perspective, not because it’s not happening, but because we don’t register it happening. I liked it. It made me think.
Jake Mitchell
On February 9, 2009 at 6:53 pm
I find your writing a pleasure to read and always look forward to your articles. Thank you for sharing your gift.
V Frost
On February 9, 2009 at 8:26 pm
I love this article. As someone else mentioned, you have that ability to write an article about a moment in time.
Christine Ramsay
On February 10, 2009 at 5:40 am
I love this article. I have had so many embarrassing moments in my life and being a teacher I never used to like being observed. However once I hit the big 60 everything changed. I laugh at myself all the time and I don’t really care all that much what people think of me, though I remain respectful. Excellent work once again.
Christine
freespinner
On February 10, 2009 at 7:53 am
if you fell in your kitchen you would not be embarrassed, but if you fell on your front lawn with two people looking, you’d be slightly embarrassed. if you then fell in the mall, with lots of people watching you’d be very embarrassed. We, who are not easily embarrassed, if we fall in the mall, pretend that we are in our kitchen with no-one watching. I love your piece, keep writing.
Radhika
On February 12, 2009 at 10:47 am
Its a very beautiful article.Keep the spirit
Lisa Clayton Williams
On February 12, 2009 at 10:27 pm
Wonderful article. I especially like the lovely ending!
Kns1992
On March 5, 2009 at 11:52 pm
Definitely true. Great job I love this!
jon
On March 11, 2009 at 6:44 pm
Another masterpiece! I wish you’d write more. I think you’d have quite a following here if you did. Don’t know where you get your material, but feel like you probably have a lot more to offer!
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