Extroversion and introversion are two different ways of relating to the world around us. They identify where we are most comfortable focusing our attention and where we are energized. Everyone uses extroversion and introversion, but each person prefers or is more comfortable with one more than the other.

            It’s safe to say that the terms “extrovert” and “introvert” are two of the most misunderstood words in our vocabulary. What do you think of when you hear the word “introvert”? Is your first response positive or negative? For most people (including introverts), their first response is usually more negative than positive. The truth is that neither preference is positive or negative. Introverts have been described as loners, wallflowers, etc. On the other hand, extroverts have been described as loud, overbearing and obnoxious.

             Children who are extroverts are energized by people, action and the things going on around them. They not only focus on the outer world but are also energized by contact with it. They don’t necessarily talk more than introverts, and not all extroverts are party animals. They simply draw energy and inspiration from the outer world of people and things.

            Introverts are more likely to be energized by their inner worlds of thought and reflection. It’s not that they like people any less than extroverts. They may enjoy people and have the same communication skills as extroverts. However, they recharge their batteries when they are away from large groups of people. It’s not even that they talk less than extroverts. The introverted child simply feels uncomfortable spending a disproportionate amount of time “socializing” in the outer world.

             Extroverts can view introverts as being unfriendly or cold, but this isn’t necessarily true. The natural God-given design of introverts leads them to be energized by time alone. Thus, when introverts have to deal with people who may not be close or familiar to them, they may well feel like fish out of water.

A Closer Look at the Differences

The following is a list of some of the differences between introverts and extroverts. Like most people, you will probably find some things in both descriptions that sound like you. However, you will also have a pretty clear sense that you prefer, or are better at, one or the other.

Extrovert

• Feels drawn outward by external requests and opportunities.
• Energized by other people and external experiences.
• An interruption is an opportunity.
• Enjoys people.
• The unlived life is not worth examining.
• Acts and then (maybe) reflects.
• Seeks activity.
• Is often friendly, talkative, and easy to know.
• Expresses emotions.
• Problem solves externally.
• Values relationships.
• Gives breadth to life.
• May seem shallow to introverts.

Introverts

• Feels pushed inward by external requests and intrusions.
• Energized by inner resources and internal experiences.
• An interruption is an intrusion.
• Enjoys pondering.
• The unexamined life is not worth living.
• Reflects and then (maybe) acts.
• Seeks solitude.
• Is often reserved, quiet, and hard to know.
• Keeps emotions to self.
• Problem solves internally.
• Values privacy.
• Gives depth to life.
• May seem withdrawn to extroverts.